This will be the 3rd time I've introduced myself here on this website over the past 5 years or so.

Yep.

I'm ashamed.

I thought of making a new user name, but I need to face the fact that I can't seem to stick with my goals. I want to, though. And this place is helpful as long as I actually use it!

I'm sick of being fat. I've gotten to a point now where I don't even want to leave the house because I fear someone may look at me and see that I'm not slim like I used to be. It's a sad affair, really.

I hate doing this on New Year's because, really, who sticks to that kind of thing anyway? Mostly, the timing is because I want to lose ~40 pounds by my birthday which is 4 months from today.

I'm going to do this, ladies! I can do it!!!

...right?

-Wednesday

Don't be ashamed. Weight loss is difficult and no matter how much (or how little) you have to lose, more people fail than succeed. I'm not justifying failure or asking you to, I'm just pointing out that weight loss is complex and difficult, and there's no shame in having difficulty -- and having difficulty doesn't make you lazy, crazy, stupid or anything else to be ashamed of.

I think weight-loss shame hurts far more people than it helps, because shame makes you want to hide, and hiding makes weight loss more difficult, whether the hiding takes the form of isolating yourself, or keeping secrets and hiding your behavior from others (and even yourself).

I used to shove food wrappers into the bottom of the kitchen garbage can - even when I was living alone. Because I was living alone, it wasn't just visitors or potential visitors I was hiding from, it was also myself.

Coming out of hiding, and realizing there was no shame in needing help can be key to feeling worthy of improved health and appearance.

If I think someone (even myself) is a worthless piece of crap, why would I go out of my way to help that person? Why does it matter if I'm slowly killing myself? Why does it matter if I eat myself into a drug-like stupor?

Seeing diet and exercise as gifts I wanted to give to myself, works a lot better than treating them as punishments due for my shameful behavior (or lack of "good" behavior).

Any first year psychology student can tell you that rewards work better than punishment, so be good to yourself. Not only do you deserve it, it will be more effective.

Thank you. That was very nice of you! Look at that, I feel better already! It's true that the person I hide from the most is myself and shame and guilt play key roles in my life every time I put something in my mouth.

Gifts I want to give myself. I like that. It should be a positive thing, it really should.

Awww.

Hi there! Take it easy on yourself dear!

Welcome home to 3FC Wednesday! Where would the rest of the week be without you!

Kaplods is soooo right.

And here's another perspective. You're embarrassed to go out now because you are "FAT" but think of all the chickies (like me for example) who have worked super hard to only be fat like you. I weigh 10 more pounds than you and I feel nearly thin now and certainly not embarrassingly fat any more. If you love yourself and you're taking care of yourself then your "fat" body becomes a beautiful one you're working hard on improving and making healthier. You'll stand taller and walk with a spring in your step. You won't be thin but you'll feel better and it'll show no matter how much you weigh. Then take that feeling and run with it, make it work for you.

Wednesday, I know it seems cheesy but there ARE success stories for people who made new year resolutions! I made the resolution 2 years ago and I lost 30 pounds and have kept it off. It's only one success story but not everyone gives up! YOU don't have to give up! You can do it!

Even if you don't make the 40 pounds off in 4 months, as long as you are headed in that direction, you will feel loads better about yourself. It won't take long.

Well that's really really true. I mean, all in all it's more of a feeling of fat than a physical fat. I want to be healthier and stronger. You know, able to hold up, steadily, 8 pounds for longer than 30 seconds. But you're right, confidence trumps being thin in most cases. Thank you.

tiffany0809: That's reassuring. I once kept a resolution and lost 70 pounds, but now I've gained 30 of it back. But this time, I think I can keep a better control of myself.

4xcharm: True story. I have time. But man, it would be great to feel accomplished on my birthday.

FoodObsessed: Haha. Thanks. You're right.

you can absolutly do it! were going to do it together! and i understand what you mean about not leaveing the house, i won't get a facebook page because i dont want people from high scholl seeing me now1 so my ultimate goal is to lose it and get a facebook page so people can say "wow she looks as great as she did in high school" so lets do this together!

Oh gosh! Don't be ashamed, it is nothing to be ashamed of. You should be proud that you keep trying to find a way to your goal. And of course you can do this! I relate...I actually did lose a significant amount of weight 5+ years ago and have managed to gain most of it back! So here I go AGAIN. I know there are people in my life that must think how the heck could I let this happen after I worked so hard to lose it. Good question. I'll let them know if and when I figure it out myself.
Good Luck! Your in the right place. - Maggie

Well, I thought I had posted and introduced myself, now I can't find it! But I liked the title of this thread, it describes how I feel. I am 52, widowed in November of 2009, currently visiting my dad who is in hospice care. I am doing what I can go not eat at my feelings. I am reading about the belly fat cure. Anyone tried that????

jackiedavis87: I hear what you're saying. I had a Facebook page and didn't update my photos for the last year because I didn't want anyone to notice the weight gain. I deleted it recently though. But let's get this done! Let's make it so you can display your sexiness on Facebook and so I won't be afraid to leave the house anymore!

Maggie51: Haha. Thank you. The same kind of thing happened to me. 5 years ago, I had lost 70 pounds. (Even then I thought I was fat, though. I wish I was back there now...) Now I'm just on a straight shot back to my highest weight. I don't know about you, but the gain just snuck right up on me.

kadibl: Never heard of the "belly fat cure." Is it a pill, exercise program, or diet plan? I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through. I'm having some problems not eating my emotions lately, too. Stress is an awful thing.

i completly understand what your saying i remeber when i weighed 130 pounds and thought i was chubby HA! i would give anything to be that now lol

[QUOTE=wednesdaymorning;3628032]jackiedavis87: I hear what you're saying. I had a Facebook page and didn't update my photos for the last year because I didn't want anyone to notice the weight gain. I deleted it recently though. But let's get this done! Let's make it so you can display your sexiness on Facebook and so I won't be afraid to leave the house anymore!

lol your right wednesday i have the same problem you do to about leaving the house my boyfriend wanted to go to a party on mew years eve and i was like NO im not going out so i can be the surrounded by sticks lol but i swear by the end of this year i will fit right in with those sticks lol..we can have our own party!

Oh the sad lives we lead! Haha. We'll get over it. I have turned down countless parties. Oh, more importantly though, how do you feel about this one: I don't want to go on vacations because I don't want to look back at the photos and say "Oh my good god I look awful." I went on a cruise with my boyfriend and his family last summer. The photos make me cringe. And they're all over everyone's houses!!! I want a redo!