too fat to function

  • Hi guys,

    I don't think I have ever posted before but have lurked for years- the usual story. Have hit rock bottom and am looking to make my first real attempt at shedding weight for good, as it is making me a very negative person.

    Was wondering if someone could help me with goal weights- have no idea what weight I need to be but know I need to have a realistic goal in mind to succeed. How did you guys choose your goal weight?

    Thanks!
  • Welcome!

    For now, I've chosen a few pounds lower than the upper limit for my BMI.

    Some people go by BMI charts. It looks like 145-148 is in the normal range for your height.

    However, it depends on your build (small/med/large frame) and whether you have muscle or not. If you are an active or big-framed person, a bit more than this might end up being fine for you. I say this because I NEVER NEVER NEVER thought I would be active, but I am now.

    http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/bmi_tbl.htm

    Not everybody goes by this, and people's *normal* can be very very different for the same height. It's a start.

    p.s. If you have specific questions along with your intro, you might get more answers in Weight Loss Support or another sub forum. Sometimes specific questions get missed in the welcome posts.

    Here is another thread where people talk about how they picked their goal.

    Some also set a series of mini goals.

    http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/livi...ick-you-2.html

    I'm not there yet, though.
  • Welcome! You will find lots of support to help you out here
  • My goal weight changad a few times in the weight loss process. At first I just wanted to get back to my prepregnancy weight (165), as I got closer to that I decided I just wanted to be under 150, then I wanted to not be "overweight" according to the bmi. Now (and I'm holding pretty fast to this) I want my maintenance range to be between 130 & 135.


    I have seen some people on here who have goal weights in the "underweight" category, but I know I feel best when I'm more in the middle of the normal weight according to the bmi.
  • clemd

    I don't know if your weight is correct under your avatar but if it is, then you could start with "under 200" There are also a lot of great challenges starting up. I am new here and joined an Easter Challenge (at first I thought . . . that's so far away, but 17 weeks just really isn't that far) I believe it's under the 100 lb club forum. I believe I also saw a Valentines challenge. the important thing is move more, even if all you do is stand up during a commercial and walk in place, then you could move your arms while you are walking. BUT . . . you have to eat better too, more "good for you foods"

    and the MOST important thing is you're not lurking now . . . so join in, find something that works for you

    Good luck !!!
  • wow, you guys are almost too good at this, feeling the support!

    Ok so tea2 thank you so much for the link, it was very useful to me, I re-measured my height and I seem to be 5"5 (maybe my hair is just flat today, ok?) Meaning my BMI is 38- way too high.

    I will keep my GW as 150 (nice round number, no pun intended!) I'm sure it will change as time goes on.

    MadamButterfly thanks for the advice, i'm lazy, I can't lie to you, but moving seems to be a basic requirement as to not being fat. You have inspired me to set a mini goal for my birthday (Day AFTER valentines) and I will be visiting the forums you speak of.

    Sorry about the essay
  • Quote: I need to have a realistic goal in mind to succeed.

    No you really don't. I'm not saying you can't start with a goal weight (realistic or otherwise), but you really don't need to start with any goal in mind, in order to get started, and start succeeding. Really.

    In my case, I think goal weights actually did me more harm than good, because focusing on the goal took away my focus on the process and the progress. I was always comparing my progress to the goal, and always saw the huge discrepancy.

    If I didn't lose weight one week, it reminded me of how far away my goal was. If I did lose weight, the feeling of victory and success was tempered by the reminder that I still had a long way to go.

    Whenever I didn't lose or lost slower than I wanted to, it made what I had accomplished seem insignificant. Losing one pound felt almost as bad as gaining a pound, because I had so far to go that it seemed that one pound per week would never get me to my goal. I felt doomed to be fat forever, because the journey seemed so long as to be pointless.

    Often when it seemed that my goal was out of reach, I wanted to give up because "what's the point, I'll never get to goal."

    Common dieting wisdom says feeling that way means I picked an unrealistic goal weight - but that's so not true, because some days just one more pound seems out of reach. If I don't focus on the long-range goal, and just focus on maintaining the weight loss I've achieved so far - and trying to lose just one more, there's never reason to quit because the goal is out of reach. The goal is always "just one more pound," until that doesn't work anymore.

    The secret to "just one more pound," means you can stop any time. Stop at trying to lose, not at stopping to maintain. That never stops, unless you're willing to choose weight gain.

    I strongly believe in "no-goal" weight loss, or rather "one-day-at-a-time, one-pound-at-a-time" weight loss.

    I'm not saying that an ultimate goal is necessarily a stumbling block, but for me it was. Focusing on the short-term goal (maintenance and/or loss of one more pound), rather than the far-distant goal really helped me feel successful, and feeling successful kept me motivated to keep being successful.
  • Good post kaplods

    Quote:
    one-day-at-a-time, one-pound-at-a-time weight loss
    ^ words of wisdom. I've never actually set about real weight loss before so I guess it's about what is right for me, I think having a goal weight will help me picture the future more (which I am rubbish at doing) and have something to look forward too but see how this can be potentially damaging after reading your post! Thanks for the advice and excellent mantra!
  • I don't mean to imply that you can't succeed with a goal weight. I have one myself (more than one, actually). My one-at-a-time is for day-to-day struggles, but you'll see on my ticker that my next immediate goal is getting under 300 lbs. Ultimately, I'd like to get to 150 lbs.

    If I set a time limit though, I probably would fail (I often have failed in the past, no matter how generous I am with my timeline. And if I miss my goal by even a half pound, it feels more like failure than success).

    Some people do ok with time-based goals. Others don't. You have to know yourself (or learn).

    But whatever you choose, make sure you give yourself a lot of opportunities to feel successful. If you see yourself failing enough to get discouraged, find ways to succeed, even if that means lowering the bar. If you make the process miserable, giving up will start to seem like the natural choice.