So here I am reading posts others have made looking for the one that sounds like me. I've been searching for someone who has the same problems, challenges, fears etc. so THAT person can tell ME what works and what to do. Silly right!? or is it? I'm so tired of saying "I'm ready", "this is it", "first thing tomorrow morning" etc.
Over the years I've lost, gained, lost, gained and right now I've just given up and have done everything imaginable to gain as much weight as possible in the shortest amount of time. Sick I know!
Normally, I'm not such a wet blanket but, Why does this have to be so hard?? And why can't I just get my butt in gear to do the things I know are good for me. Please don't say I'm depressed. I'm so tired of hearing that! I eat when I'm happy, sad, angry, lonely Yup, I know I'm an emotional eater. The sad thing is that really my life is good. I have a good job, great family, caring man, own my home, and am going to be a grandma in 2 1/2 months.
I know why I'm here...I know I need support and I know how to lose weight. I just can't seem to make it through Day One!! So I'm a little (understatement) frustrated with myself for making empty promises and yet wanting positive results.
I promise my next post will be more upbeat, right now I'm just venting.
Hi newnana and welcome to 3fatchicks! It's really hard to find another post that sums up your feelings because we are all so unique. Yes, we are all here to support one another, but we will all get to where we want to be (or some of us anyway) with whatever works for us. I can say that in reading your post, I have felt exactly like you before. I couldn't really get past day 1. It was totally mental. I just couldn't motivate myself. I wish I could say that I did get to day 1 and it all sank in and I've never looked back. No....I"ve done day 1 a million times before.....but I"m really trying to make this the last time. I'm tired of restarting something that I can never really finish.
Ok, you said you know you need support and you know what it takes. Just keep posting and put one foot in front of the other. Your motivation might not kick in right away and that's ok. You can fake it till you make it. Make a list of everything you know you need to do. Make a plan. Do the best you can to stick to it no matter what. No matter how unpleasant. That was what I think was so hard for me about starting. It was hard. I didn't want hard. I wanted easy and I wanted to be excited about it. Well, now I AM excited about it. I really feel now that I"m getting my body back.
Visualization really helped but it had to be in a positive way. As hard as it may be, try to really love yourself and be good to yourself and to nourish your body with health food. Do it out of love and not out of self loathing....I did that for a loooong time.
Oh, yeah....I did the whole gain as much as possible in the shortest amount of time. What IS that anyway? It felt really wrong and yet I couldn't stop. I was stuffing myself with food with reckless abandon. I felt there was no end in sight. I was sneaking most of it and people must have wondered how I could gain so quickly. I think I was gaining about 10 lbs. a month and if people weren't always watching me, I could have done more.
Why am I telling you this? Because it is possible to stop. It is possible to change your ways. It is possible to be where you want to be. Come here often. I check in here many times a day. I get great ideas and motivation. When nobody else gets it, I know someone here will.
I really hope you'll do this. I am sure you're capable. You need to be a grandma in great shape! Congrats on that by the way!
I hope to see you around here soon.
Last edited by luckymommy; 12-01-2010 at 10:40 PM.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate the time you've taken to respond and your kind words...I'm sitting here at my desk and have tears in my eyes! This may sound silly but I honestly never believed that just having another person acknowledge my struggle and share their own could bring me to tears and mean so much. Thank you again and I'll make a plan.
I think you bring up a good point. I spent the last several years just not losing much weight. I would say I wanted to, would lose for awhile, then just stop and then regain. Over a period of a few years I gained another 20 pounds. Looking back on it I just didn't have an intensity for losing weight. Sure I wanted to be the low weight but I really wasn't wanting to go through the struggle to get there. I always said I wanted to but really I wasn't committed to doing it.
It is hard to know what gets someone motivated. As I've gotten older I've gotten more concerned with health aspects and thinking that if I don't do it now I never will. I also have had some changes in my life that make it easier for me to exercise regularly and stick to a program so I really have no excuses.
For me I find that I do stay more committed when I make weight loss a first priority and try to surround myself with things and people that are motivating to me. Coming here every day helps. Going to WW meetings every week. It isn't that I learn anything new there, it is just that it keeps me focused on losing weight. Going to the gym 5 days a week. Seeing a personal trainer once a week. All those things keeps a lot of my day focused on losing weight. If I'm seeing my trainer once a week I don't want to tell him that I did no exercise the rest of the week so that is always motivation to make sure I exercise the other days. If I'm going to a WW meeting I don't want to gain weight. If I'm here and I show my current weight I want to show it going down. All of that helps reinforce my actions to lose weight.
Hey, it's rare to find an upbeat first post! You should read mine! It's dreadfully down and I'm a very upbeat person! LOL! It's usually the brink of utter frustration that brings us here.
I know you say you know how to lose weight and I don't doubt that, not at all. But have you figured out yet why you keep regaining it? Or quitting? That was the key for me. I too knew how to lose it...but I did not know how to not give up.
On the verge of figuring that out for myself I came here. I read on my first day the quote "A year from now you'll be glad you started today." I found that statement to be so powerful. Suddenly I got very curious about where I could be one year from now if I just kept going. Always before the loss was too slow, the scale stuck too much and I made everything too hard to sustain. So I decided that for one year, no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT, I was going to remain on plan. Suddenly the scale lost all its power. I started weighing daily to learn about normal fluctuations. I noticed that yes, I lost slowly...but I did lose. I made sure my diet was something I could sustain. For me, that ended up being calorie counting. Staying "on a diet" (like South Beach) wasn't for me. I learned ALOT from SBD so I don't discount it, but ultimately it was a diet to me. Exercise was a big problem for me. I love it too much! LOL! But I would make it too hard! And whatever I did today I had to do better tomorrow. That was awesome and gave me such a high, but again, ultimately it was unsustainable and always I would wake up one day and say, "No, I just can't do that today." And that was it. I'd stop and gain everything back plus friends. So I chose to have a "baseline" of exercise which for me is Spin class M/W/F and lifting T/Th. I can choose to do more than that, and I often do, but when it gets too hard I revert back to baseline.
So, where could you be one year from now if you just didn't give up? I know. You could be feeling healthy and energetic chasing after a 10 month old who's learning to walk. Congratulations Grandma!
Thank you both for your encouragement, it really means alot. Koshka, you're right and I need to focus on my health because I've noticed that my knees and ankles hurt now. I've never had this happen before so I'm sure my body is wondering what the heck I'm doing to it. And Eliana, what a great Qu: Where could I be? I see your progress and it makes me believe it's possible to reach a goal afterall....we'll see. Thanks again ladies! Nana
newnana, our starting statistics are pretty close. I have done the same thing you describe, gained, lost, gained, lost etc.etc.etc.I have gone on many diets and been successful at losing but not successful at maintaining. It was coming on 3FC and reading the successes and failures that somehow made me realize that I could do it , too. I am close to 3 yrs at goal. first time I have been able to say that. You can do it , too!!!
I'm new here myself, joined the forum today actually!
But I have started, lost weight, stopped, gained weight too many times. And it was hard getting started again. I'd keep telling myself how much I needed to do it, because of my bad knee, my bad ankles, my bad feet, etc... and it still never got me going.
You know what did get me started again? Giving myself stuff. I got an e-reader and I wanted to populate it with my favorite books, so I could literally take my library with me anywhere/everywhere. I have always loved to read, but I have rarely bought many books, usually getting books from the library instead. So I set up a little plan that rewards me with a little cash to spend on e-books each week. I get a portion of the cash simply for exercising. The other portion is for losing weight. Surprisingly, this has motivated me enough so that I've lost weight for the last 11 weeks straight!
I look at snacks in the store and want them, but I want my e-books more! So I would suggest, if you can't motivate yourself for the right reasons (i.e. health and all that), find some reward that you are willing to do the work for and use that as your carrot. The key is that it will have to be something you REALLY want! I chose e-books because I really want them and because they are inexpensive, so I can afford to buy one each week.
When I feel reluctant to get out to the gym, knowing that I need to do it at least three times weekly to get my little cash reward to apply to my e-book spending gets me to do it, whatever I need to do, whether it's at the gym or at home.
Anyway, just a thought! Sometimes just being NICE to ourselves is the best way to go! The best part, is that I could work this to use for maintenance too, because I'll never get tired of reading! (I'm 53... have loved reading all my life so far.) It might not be books for you, but the reward approach might be worth thinking about, if you can find the right reward.
Last edited by graycyn; 12-02-2010 at 04:15 PM.
Reason: consolidated paragraphs
I'm so glad that I was helpful in any way. I'm really rooting for you and I do see myself in your post and your way of thinking. I know how it is to feel like it's never gonna change. It's sooooo hard to imagine things being different. Just put one foot in front of the other and eventually, the motivation and excitement will follow (at least it has for me). I still have doubts about whether I am capable of this....well, depending on the day or week. Some days seem painfully difficult but if I can just push through that pain and discomfort, the next morning, I feel triumphant! I may not see the number go down on the scale, but I know I"m headed in the right direction. It takes this ongoing progress....a climb....striving...reassessing....improving.....a nd then, one day, you wake up and you find that you're actually doing this....you're feeling better. My heartburn was horrific. I had other symptoms too that I just won't get into, but I feel so much better and you can too. You absolutely will and all it takes is following that plan. It's simple and it's the hardest thing all at once.
Never give up. If things aren't going right even when you're trying so hard, please IM me and we'll brainstorm. I'd love to do that with you. I desperately wanted some support when I was so lost and I feel like I have it here at 3fatchicks.
Dry your eyes and empower yourself to do what you know will make you feel so happy. All those foods that are no good are just momentary.
Thank you all....So I went home last night and got on the TM for 15 mins then did a workout video...granted I'm not the most graceful chickie on the planet but at least I got through it....So I thought I was off and running but woke up this morning wanting Sugar...lots and lots of Sugar along w/ flour if at all possible! Oh well, at least I'm honest about it! No denial here! Thanks again and will post again later. By the way, what's a buddy list, how do you add those cool "weight loss records?" I keep seeing and Bargoo, if you read this: could you give details on what worked for you. You're right, are stats are similar. How did you loose your weight? And more importantly, keep it off. Thanks again, Nana
Do I really want to lose the weight???
Make a list of everything you know you need to do. Make a plan. Do the best you can to stick to it no matter what. No matter how unpleasant. That was what I think was so hard for me about starting. It was hard. I didn't want hard. I wanted easy and I wanted to be excited about it. Well, now I AM excited about it. I really feel now that I"m getting my body back.
Congratulations Grandma!
and I do see myself in your post and your way of thinking. I know how it is to feel like it's never gonna change. It's sooooo hard to imagine things being different. Just put one foot in front of the other and eventually, the motivation and excitement will follow (at least it has for me). I still have doubts about whether I am capable of this....well, depending on the day or week. Some days seem painfully difficult but if I can just push through that pain and discomfort, the next morning, I feel triumphant! I may not see the number go down on the scale, but I know I"m headed in the right direction. It takes this ongoing progress....a climb....striving...reassessing....improving.....a nd then, one day, you wake up and you find that you're actually doing this....you're feeling better. My heartburn was horrific. I had other symptoms too that I just won't get into, but I feel so much better and you can too. You absolutely will and all it takes is following that plan. It's simple and it's the hardest thing all at once. 
