Help....Need Some Advice and a "Kick in the right direction"
 

Hello everyone....

I desperately need some help.

I am 42 years old (birthday is tomorrow) and I have been "chubby" all my life. I never felt comfortable with my body but I was just "borderline" to get me by. At the beginning of the year my husband and I joined a gym. We joined one of the 24 hour gyms so I could go when no one was there. I watched what I ate but I was not going crazy about it and I lost 18 pounds. I was going good for 4 months until May hit. My sister was diagnosed with Cancer and I lost focus on everything including myself. Sadly in August she passed away and I not only gained back the weight I lost I gained another 15 pounds.

So here I am 190 pounds (5'7") and have NO IDEA how to start up again. I know it sounds silly but I am at a loss. I have a gym membership but I have no idea how to start back up. I have every intention of eating healthy when I wake up and I blow it a couple of hours later. I am not happy with myself and for some reason that makes it even harder for me to move forward.
I am even at the point I cancel on social events because I am embarressed on how I look.

When I started at the gym I was going 4 times a week and working on 40 minutes cardio (treadmill) and 30 minutes weights.I had no direction on my workout. I just kind of made it up.

So my question to all you wonderful people....

Where do I begin? I can not afford a personal trainer but I want a routine to stick too. I have many machines to work with but I do not know how to tackle them. I want to have the biggest impact for the hour and fifteen minutes I am there but I am afraid I will not.
Eating? Weight Watchers...Atkins...calorie counting...I am so confused. I really want to make this work but I fail every time I try something new.

I would like to lose 50 pounds over the next year but I have no idea how to get back on track...how do you find the motivation to not only start but to keep going?

Sorry for the rambling but I am at a loss and really need some advice.

I hope everyone is having a great day.

J

Hi Penny and Happy Birthday! I'm new here also and I too lost a loved one to cancer this past May (my Dad) and it has put me in a slump and I also gained a few pounds from it. The only advice I can give you is to start moving, go to the gym jump on a cardio machine, keep going and hope someone else can give you better advice than me..lol

I know a lot of people that have done weight watchers and have lost A LOT of weight at a good speed. I would try it but I just don't have any $ to pay for it right now. My husband bought a gym membership for me last week and I have lost 4 pounds already. I spend most of my time there on the elliptical.

Hope you have a great day tomorrow!

Hi J! So sorry to hear about your sister - that must have been very difficult to deal with :(

A few things that might help while you're getting started:

-I'd recommend starting with calorie counting, because it's free (great if you're on a budget) and it helps you learn more about what your body needs, portion size, etc. I've done WW before, but I always got frustrated with the vague point system, although I know it works for plenty of people.

Sign up for an account on Livestrong.com or Sparkpeople.com (there are other similar sites, but these are the first two that come to mind right now...) - they have tons of tools that will help you determine how many calories you need to eat to lose weight and track the foods you eat.

-Talk to the staff at your gym about putting together an exercise program. Many gyms offer free personal training sessions with each membership, but even if yours doesn't, you might be able to find a staff member who will show you how to use the machines correctly and put together a routine for you. (If not, there's tons of free workout routine sites online - just search Google for some ideas).

Just remember to take it slow - this should be more about slowly incorporating healthy changes into your life than trying to change everything all at once. You'll be way more likely to stick with everything when you focus on making positive changes you can live with.

Good luck - let us know how you're doing :)

I too lost someone this year. My daughter passed away at three weeks old this spring and I've decided I worked very hard to get pregnant, very hard to save my daughter and now I need to work very hard to work on myself. I could not control her passing away, even though I tried, but I can control how I live my life. I want to wake up on the morning of her birthday and not feel like I lost control, I want to mourn her and be happy with my body as well.

I truly started October 1st and I do Dr Oz's plan mixed with calorie counting. I "tried" losing weight this summer but antidepressants cause weight gain and I was still too far in my slump to care.

This is it! This is the first day of your new, healthy life! Live it, enjoy it!

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

:hug:
Hi there :wave:
:welcome: to 3FC! :)
I am really sorry to hear about your sister :hug:
I personally have Atkins as my Way Of Eating (WOE) but that is what is working best for ME :) There are many forums here with the different diets and WOE's. Check them out. I am sure you will find the one that is right for you.
I started walking everyday. And not only did it kick start the weight loss, but it helped with my motivation and gave me some "me time".
I know you can do this. You already have the most important part of it - you have the desire to. Hugs and support on your weight loss journey. I look forward to your postings :)

Judy

I'm sorry to hear about your sister, that must have been tough for you and your family.

As for getting started, like others have said, there's lots of information on various programs around the forums, so definitely look around. I do calorie counting and it's been working great for me, but you should always try a few things out to see what works best for your. As for the workout, if it's working for you, just keep it up. Switch things around every now and then so you don't get bored, though. :)

Welcome and good luck

Welcome to 3FC, we are glad you are here!