Hi All -

I've been heavy all my life and had the normal ups and downs, but I've never been a skinny. I hit my highest in 2009 at 286. So last August I made the decision to start eating "cleaner" - less processed. A little bit over a year later and a slow but steady progress I'm closing in on my first 50lb loss!!

The changes thus far have been slow to show -but now I've increased my exercise and I've got a strong desire to pick up the pace.

My weight as insulated me from romantic relationships for WAY TOO LONG. I've never been married. Last serious relationship was well over 20yrs ago. I've had some a couple of solid dates in between - but I sadly never really took it further. I have moved a lot and that was a good excuse too. Now that I'm feeling more confident with my weight loss and direction I'm going - I'm reawakening to the desire to date. I have a friend who has flirted with my over phone/email/text for past 2 months and he is very anxious to meet me. He lives in another city. I'm TERRIFIED about my body image insecurities and being truthful to him and myself. I've sent a few "careful" pictures -a recent one of upper body and a few old ones that show I'm cushioned but not bulging. He is aware of my insecurities and I've told him about my lumps, bulges and sags -- but my gosh - how do all of you handle these anxieties of body image in new dating scenarios???? Sure this would be easier if this guy was local and we could just meet for coffee and see if we both want to move to a 2nd date - but this is a long distance situation with layers of complications.

Sorry this is a bit scattered and I'm new here. Looking for support and words of wisdom to guide me. So -- off to my treadmill I go. Thanks everyone. I'm SO glad to be here...finally.

Looks like you're too new for me to PM, but you're not alone. I started my weight loss plan at age 49 with one of my motivations to start dating after 18 years of no man (not coincidentally over the same period that I was 100 lbs. overweight).

I started dating about 50 lbs down, but I broke off that relationship after 5 months. Started the online dating thing this summer and I'm really glad I've got more confidence (both body confidence and sense of accomplishment) because the dating process has been pretty crushing emotionally so far. I know dating is an elimination process, but wow when you don't have the fat to blame, rejections, even if they are gentle, are not easy.

Welcome...........

I also started at the age of 49. Actually just this summer. I am doing it for health reasons also as I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 3 years ago. I decided that it was time to start taking care of myself if I planned on watching my granddaughter grow up.
It is very slow going for me not only because of the age but I am hypothyroid also. It's like pulling teeth just to loose a pound. I am low carbing and exercising daily. I found Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pound video's and I am hooked. I can already see a change in my body and muscle starting even though the weight is not down that much.

I have to remember that I did not put this on over night and I won't be able to take it off over night.

Good Luck
There is tons of supporting people on here.........
Leann

I see what you mean about him being in a different city. It seems like both an emotional investment as well as financial. Like, if it's so far away and you go to see him, where do you stay, how much can you afford, what happens if there is no spark, and if he comes to see you, how much time do you set aside for him. Hm. If if were me.... I'd go to see him because I love good road trip, and you could make a little getaway for yourself. That way you could decide when you see each other and if you know people you could visit them as well.
I haven't dated in a while now but I still feel insecure even around my husband. He seems to dig me what ever my weight does. Most of us after a certain age have bulges sags and that rest of it. I'll take aging and changing over the alternative any day! lol I hope you won't let it stop you from living life and loving it and meeting people! Best of luck to you!! hugs,
tam

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Congrats on your success and good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

Hi and first of all.. congrats on the near 50 pound weight loss!.. thats wonderful.
As for the dating... this is you..this is who you are now, not who you were 20 yrs ago or who you will be 20 yrs from now.. this is the way you are, all the lumps, bumps, scars or freckles..the differences are what make us special.. if he doesnt like it, and cant apreciate it..he's not the one for you anyway.. move along and look for your next new adventure .. and good luck to you.. I am cheerin for ya.

Thanks VERY much for the wonderful support "beachin". Whew -- we'll all get thru this won't we??? You are a dear.

to 3FC!
on LBS lost WTG!!!!!!
Hugs and support on the rest of your weight loss journey

Hello and welcome to 3FC. Congratulations on your accomplishments and success. Good luck to you in your journey and in reaching all your goals.

*warm hugs and sweet whispers of support to you*