3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - hello

Hello, I'm new :)

I stumbled on this forum looking for diet support and information; its seems like a great site with plenty to read and lots going on. I guess here at 3FC I'd be defined as a "featherweight".

AGE; 44
WEIGHT: 126 (today, tomorrow is another story)
HEIGHT: 5"3
WAIST measurement: 30inches

GOALS: 112-114lbs
WAIST: 27 (well 26" really but trying to be realistic)

HIGHEST WEIGHT: About 145 (a lot on a small frame)
LOWEST WEIGHT: 110lbs

SITUATION: Single, no children.

DIETING RECORD: I struggle with bulimia, and binge eating. I'm a sugar addict and a chronic yo-yo dieter that has struggled with the same 20lbs my whole adult life

DIETS TRIED: I'm not a big calorie counter, but due to my bulimia I'm a chronic "restricter" meaning I'll go for long periods not eating in order to not binge (I know, I know... dumb move). I'm most comfortable with low-carb diets. done...

*Atkins
*Master Cleanse
*thinking about: Paleo/South beach/Warrior

DANGER FOODS: Carbs, carbs, carbs. Nothing can trigger a binge as a plate of pasta. My absolute weakness for sugar means I find it hard to go 24 hours without a piece of cake or chocolate. When things are out of control I eat a packet of buscuits (cookies) a day! I often dream of homemade carrot cake.

PROBLEM AREAS: All my fat goes to my stomach. I have the hips of a 14 year old boy, slim limbs and a small frame. I have been asked numerous times if I'm pregnant.

GOOD POINTS: I have two and they're both ...34 D baby!!

HISTORY: I was "plump" as a child, but by no means obese. I've never been "thin" for more than a few months at a time. I'm very unstable and could EASILY report back next week I'm up to 136.

EXERCISE: I have an "all or nothing" extremely inconsistent attitude to both dieting and exercise. I'll be exercising everyday for 2 months and then I'll either hit my goal weight or slip into daily binging and give up for 3. I've ran off and on for about 10 years so my favorites (when I'm in a good "zone" are

*running (2/3 times a week)
*aerobic (I swear by Fonda's advance workout from the 80s - the first and the best; I've also just bought Gillian Michels 30-day shred although I've never used it.
*gym ... ha ha. My membership runs out in september, I think I can still remmeber where the actual gym is.

PRESENT EATING HABITS: This summer has been pretty bad, restricting, binging, purging... ugly stuff. Been trying to become less manic by eathing protein with every meal and its helping. Haven't binged in a week or so.

CRAZY DIETING BEHAVIOR: Oh pleeeze, I have an eating disorder... there isn't enough space in the world - bulimia is shameful, ugly and bizzare. So "crazy dieting behaviour I'LL ADMIT TO": weighing every day without exception. Hiding food around the house (don't ask). Having an empty fridge.

HOPES: **To kick the bulimia (I don't throw up, but abuse laxitives and restrict), to kick the binging.

**To kick or at least control the sugar cravings.

**To maintain a healthy weight and to shred the belly fat.

**To learn to be kind to myself. Have a massage for the first time in my life. Get manicures, go to movies, stop punishing myself for gaining 5lbs.

I'm not feeling particularly hopeful at the moment; but I'm still in the fight.

FINAL NOTE: Given the above I'll feel a fraud to give anyone advice but I KNOW I'm not alone so I'll try and share things I've learnt and hopefully encourage too.

Sorry its so long

Respect,
Cashue