| summerheart |
06-03-2010 11:08 PM |
New girl!
Hi, everyone! My name's Ashley. I'm 20 years old, from Illinois. I'm new around these parts so I figured I'd introduce myself.
I'm here, obviously, because I'd like to lose weight. Around sophomore year of high school, I developed an eating disorder. I'd restrict to under 500 calories and hit the gym almost daily after school. I lost a lot of weight and received a lot of positive feedback from my friends and family, though some raised their brows at the quick rate that I lost the weight. I maintained that weight for a couple of years, though I'd occasionally gain and lose the same ten or fifteen pounds. Within the past couple of years, though, I've been doing practically the complete opposite. I'm trying to recover from a binge-eating disorder and it's proving to be very difficult. I've gained about 100 pounds in the last two years and I'm veryveryvery unhappy with myself and my life. I've allowed this to affect my self-esteem and thus every aspect of my life - I dread class, I've alienated a lot of my friends and my family. It breaks my heart and yet it feels like I can't control it. In the presence of the close friends I've kept in my life, I'm very outgoing and social, but this weight gain has turned me into almost an introvert while outside of my circle of friends. Basically, I've done a complete 180.
My goal is not only to reach a healthy weight in a healthy way but to re-construct my life. I want to be close to my family again, I want to feel comfortable going out in public, I don't want to fear bumping into the friends I've pushed away. I want to be happy.
So, joining this community seemed like a smart decision and a good first step for me. From what I've read, there are many of you that have experienced the same emotions and I hope that we can help each other improve the quality of our lives. We deserve it.
Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great night. :)
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