(This became kind of a journal entry instead of a personal introduction...sorry for the length!)
Once again, I'm back on this journey. At 44, I'm really tired of being fat and tired. Yesterday, I was thinking about a co-worker who runs marathons and takes great care of herself. I thought "I wish I were like her". And then someone in my head said "Then BE like her". I thought..."What??? Don't wish it...DO it!" So I went to the gym and ran/walked 3 miles and stretched. I talked to myself about how I need to "act" my way to these changes I so desparately want to make until they take hold.
I've been down this road a number of times before, none of them successfully long term. I've said all the "right" things before...about this being a lifestyle change, not a diet; about falling off the horse; I didn't gain the weight all at once, I won't lose it all at once, etc. What I know about myself is I have to heal some issues I have going on inside (self-esteem) and the outside fixes will come easier.
I hope that after 44 years it's not too late to change my thinking patterns and break away from bad self-talk, not accept negativity from others, make myself a priority, to love me for me and the heck with anyone who doesn't like it.
One thing I'm doing differently this time is I'm not broadcasting to family and friends what I'm doing. When I have set-backs and slips, I don't want to have to explain to anyone. The only opinion that matters is mine. The only one I'm cheating is myself. So I'm looking to this board for some accountability and friendship.
I know the people who post here are great...friendly, supportive, honest. I hope I can be of some help to someone else during this time. I look forward to getting to know you all!
