I joined 3fatchicks on March 25, and looked at some postings/forums, etc and heard a bout a book entitled Diary of a Fat Housewife. I purchased it and am in the middle of reading it. It is an amazing book. I could of written it myself, just with a different food addiction. I have been struggling with my weight for a few years now. No, I was not always big. I used to be skinny, some would say even too thin, but sometime in late 20s I started gaining weight. I didn't really bother about it at first.... oh well, I have horrible sleeping habits, I don't have a routine life because of my job, I have an inactive thyroid, and, well, I'm not 18 anymore..... I had the excuses of why I wasn't under 120 anymore. (I am 5'5"). Anyway, yes, I quit a 2- 21/2 half pack a day smoking, and yes, I now eat instead. I am now 220 pounds. The most I have ever been . Back in 2007, I went on a hospital supervised weighloss liquid program and I went from 188 to 144 in 3 months. I was just 7 pounds from my goal! Then, I just quit, and went back to binge eating, where I would eat cinnamon rolls and nachos EVERYDAY.... sometimes I would eat some healthy food ON TOP of that, but I ate that stuff EVERY DAY.... (need I mention that here we are 2010, and I STILL eat those things????!!!!)
Within a year of quitting the liquid diet, I went from 144 to 220. From January 2009 to present, I have been going up and down between 200 and 220.
I don't know WHY I can't get my rear end in gear.... I KNOW what to do. I KNOW what to eat. I have spent so much of my hard earned money on diet books/videos/gadgets/foods hoping that maybe one of these times, something is going to kick..... I have been on WW since the first of the year, and I now weigh more than when I first started..... I want to be thin again SO bad, but why am I not doing what I need to be doing? I am now on anti depressants due to this weight journey making me miserable. I have begged God to help me, like He did to quit smoking.... I feel like my relationship with Him has gone downward because of my addiction to food, which is now #1 in my life..... I don't know why I am writing all this.... maybe to see if something will kick in to get me going.... all I know is that I am in desperate need of SOMETHING.... I have tried the psychiological help, and that didn't seem to go anywhere.... it was expensive, and I know I just to have better control of my eating............................................ ..................................




