I start,I fail,I stop.

I take the bull by the horns and then I see progress and feel empowered and then thud. I stop. I feel emotions and I eat them or I feel that it is sooo unfair that I have to change my eating to suit the scale and then I realize why it is worth it and then it becomes that vicious cycle all over again.
So my feeling is this..

when it's time then plunge in and do it. Life has thrown me many curve balls and the latest is losing just about everyone in my family including my Mom. My Mom was terminally ill and I acepted that but the death at times even a year and a month late is still barely accepted but I go forward and push on as they say.

I'm sorry to read about your struggles and losses. I wish you the best on your journey.

I know how you feel, life itself is not easy. I use to stop every time something didn't go as I hope or if something bad came my way but I decided that life is about living with the up's and down's so I will not stop no matter what comes my way. Good luck and just write on paper why is that you want to loose the weight, every time you feel like given up, go grab that paper and read it.

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Especially with a parent, there is nothing in life that ever comes close to the emotions that you go through. Eight years ago, I lost both of my parents (16 days apart) and it was truly the worst experience of my life. You will get through it, though, on your own terms. The best advice I got from someone then was to always remember that there is no timetable for grief and how you move on - and never let anyone tell you that you should be "over it by now." You will come to a sense of peace, and while the feelings never totally go away it WILL get easier. Be kind to yourself, and use this weight loss journey as a positive step to feel in control of an aspect of your life. It will keep you centered and grounded until the rest of life settles down once again. And if it helps, dedicate your weight loss to your mom, and doing something she would be so proud of you for! :-)