Big Failure Joining
 

I must be the biggest disaster you have had on here. I am 59, based in the UK and have had a weight problem all my life. I’ve tried every diet and had a lot of successes followed by failure. I lost 5 stones on the Cambridge but couldn’t afford to keep on with it, when I came off, no matter how sensibly I ate, I put weight on and ended up as I am today 6 stones heavier.
I went to see my doctor, I was in tears. She told me that I had completely messed up my metabolism with all these diets and my body was conserving fat for the next time of famine.
I have pain in both knees and ankles caused by the huge weight I am now. 18 stones(252lbs) exactly.
I have been referred to the practice dietician and she has me on a sensible, 3 meals a day, low in fat diet. We are looking to lose 2-3lbs a week. Apparently, this is the best ( if longest) way to do it and keep the weight off. Exercise is a bit of a problem but I am walking a mile every day, joints permitting. When I get a good 2 stones off I will be able to do more energentic exercies. My doctor suggested I find a good forum for support. So here I am. My first weigh in is next Monday morning. I hope I can get some support from you all, although I don't deserve it

:hug:

You are not the biggest disaster here girl, I'm sure many of us can tell you that we have done all you have done, starved ourselves, binged, purged, tried every fad diet out there, and so on.

It's wonderful you are seeing a dietician, I am sure this time around you will learn how to eat right and exercise and keep at it for the rest of your life.

Welcome!

Oh and to add- you DO deserve it- don't be so hard on yourself!

Welcome! Trust me, you are not a failure!!! Most of us are here for the same reasons. This is an awesome place to chat and get motivation.

You are not a failure. The fact that you have recommited means you have already won in a way. Some people go forever never wanting to change but you obviously do want to make POSITIVE changes in your life.

Best of luck in your journey. :hug::hug::hug::hug:

Pick me! PICK ME! pIcK mE!

I am the biggest disaster! Seriously...I am 5 foot and weigh over 250 lbs. I am a big girl! I have tried many many many things and for today I am on the cookie diet...crazy as it may seem...I have done research, checked into the surgery...and for today I am trying this. My goal is to eat healthy foods in moderation.

No Dinky you are not the biggest disaster! You may feel like you are a disaster. I don't want to diminish your pain. The good news is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Wecome!!

Cathy

You are already doing well, getting professional aid when previous times on your own have not been successful in the long term. Sensible eating and regular exercise are, as ever, the best way.

As for your metabolism I am a firm believe that if it actually is "damaged", it will repair itself as you get used to a new healthy eating plan with exercise. The body is quite remarkable in how it can adapt, and it will adapt to a healthy lifestyle just as well as to an unhealthy one. It just takes time, sometimes longer than we would like, but it gets there.

As for your pain in knees and ankles, there's nothing like exercise to strengthen them and lessen the pain. Even at my highest weight (255) I was still fairly active, as I relied on public transit at the time and had a few other activities of mild intensity. I did not have pain in any of my joints, and only got sore feet/muscles after walking/exercising/standing more than usual (as in multiple hours in one day). Over the course of several months of regular walking exercise you will likely start gaining relief from the pain, whether or not your weight changes during that time.

And don't worry over the rate of loss! 2-3 pounds/week is quite rapid, even at a higher starting weight, and slow continuous loss is so much easier to maintain than a rapid one, because by the time you've lost a significant amount of weight with that new helthy lifestyle, its not a diet anymore, it's "how things are".

You'll do great!

One of my favorite quotes.. "You're not a failure, until you fail to try." Very true. Stick with it, you'll get where you want to be.

Originally Posted by Kae:
One of my favorite quotes.. "You're not a failure, until you fail to try." Very true. Stick with it, you'll get where you want to be.

I agree and I want to add that I really hate the word failure.

Gee:

I've always felt like a failure also, and self-sabotage myself in so many different ways to try to prove it to myself. Crazy, mixed-up, I know, but true! So I think if we all feel like a failure, then really, none of us is a failure...just a work in progress.

I appreciate the honesty I find on this forum...makes me feel less alone in my negativity. Today I will commit to healthy eating and exercise for 1 hour. I will concentrate only on today, as each day is a new chapter.

Thanks all for the honesty in your sharing and the strength I get from your stories!

Aha! A who's-the-biggest-failure contest. I declare myself a candidate - it took me to age 69 to keep the weight off instead of regaining almost immediately. Can anyone top that? :D

Seriously, if you care enough about yourself to endure the misery of dieting, then you deserve nothing but good things, including all the support this site can muster. And that's a lot! :smug:

Hi Dinky, you are doing the right things. Just be patient with yourself...this is not going to be a quick trip. Take it just one day a time. I found it too overwhelming if I look at the big picture. You CAN do this!

I will be 59 years old in March 2010. I joined 3 Fat Chicks Forum in early August of this year. I have a long way to go too. My starting weight was 291 pounds. I also have knee problems and started out just walking for 5 minutes a day. Now I am doing over 30 minutes a day. I have read that for each pound you lose it's like 4 pounds less pressure on your knees. I find it very helpful to log all of my food and exercise. I use FitDay software on my computer but there are lots of places online that you can log your food for free.

We can do this!!! You found a GREAT place to come for support!!!
:hug:

Faith

Obviously many of us have failed before--just read a few of the goal stories on the Maintainer's forum. They are inspirations to all of us here.

And Lincoln's Sparrow--please don't think of it as enduring the misery. Tell yourself that it is a healthy lifestyle you are embracing and it will make you feel wonderful. In time you may come to believe that.

Welcome and good luck, many of us, me included, have lost and regained. it is frustrating but you CAN change that. I think you have good advice from your dietician.

Dinky,
Forget that word "failure"! You are where many of us were when starting. Take all those other experiences and learn from them so that this can be your final weight loss journey.

It sounds like you have a very good beginning with lots of help. I was bigger than you when I started. I have come a long way but still have a long way to go. My loss has be slow compared to some others, about 1-2 pounds a week, but it sure beats gaining weight! Don't worry how long it will take to get the weight off. Just start!

Welcome and I look forward to your posts!

Oh dear, your post made me sad! You will get a lot farther in this if you are kind to yourself than if you are hard on yourself! I've never met a person with a weight problem who hasn't failed at taking it off at one time or another (or many, many times in my case). The only failure is if you don't pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. You are worth it!

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

You are NOT a failure. A failure is someone who falls and doesn't get back up. Look at you! You recognized the issue, went to the doctor, and are already making huge strides by eating healthy and walking. I'm doing the slow and steady thing too - so we can do this together and take it one pound at a time!

Please try not to be so hard on yourself! We're all here for you and rooting for you!

Thank you all so much. I feel better already. My husband , we will have been married 34 years at the begining of December, told me that I would get help on here when we were looking for a good forum.
He's a smashing man. We lost 3 babies at the begining of our marriage and then had a beautiful baby girl, who looked like a little angel. She is still beautiful at age 30 but sadly so deeply autistic & epileptic she will never be able to live a so called normal life. We adore her to bits.
Its 8.45 am here in the UK and I must go and have my cereal and fruit for breakfast. I'm not a breakfast eater normally but have to say I feel better with having it this week.
.

Originally Posted by Dinky:
Thank you all so much. I feel better already. My husband , we will have been married 34 years at the begining of December, told me that I would get help on here when we were looking for a good forum.
He's a smashing man. We lost 3 babies at the begining of our marriage and then had a beautiful baby girl, who looked like a little angel. She is still beautiful at age 30 but sadly so deeply autistic & epileptic she will never be able to live a so called normal life. We adore her to bits.
Its 8.45 am here in the UK and I must go and have my cereal and fruit for breakfast. I'm not a breakfast eater normally but have to say I feel better with having it this week.
.

Aw good! Breakfast always gets me goin too...
I'm sorry to hear about the 3 children you lost :(. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Your daughter sounds like a blessing & you seem like you must be a wonderful mom!
So glad you're feeling better!!

You are all such lovely people.
I've just got in from walking the dog (daft labrador)
It is so nice doing this diet with my doctor and a dietician. They are so different to what I expected, have given me nothing but encouragement and support. And with a goal of 2-3 lbs a week and telling me to throw my scales away! I feel the pressure is off. They've even told me not to be discouraged if I only lose a pound this first week because, eating badly last week means the weight will still keep going on up to about yesterday. So to look on next week as the start

Welcome to 3fc's Dinky! Please don't ever think of yourself as a failure. I was shorter than you and heavier when I started to lose weight and if I can do this anyone can. I was morbidly obese for twenty years, but have struggled with weight my whole life.

Stick around and post often so we can support you! I wish you all the best.

Hi Dinky,

You are so not a failure! Just because the diets you've tried have failed doesn't mean you failed. There are so many "diets" out there, it's hard to decide which one you can follow.

I'm over 50 too, and post on the 50+ site. Great bunch of people, and so much support. Come on over and join us. I post there because I have more in common with someone who is closer to my age. Face it, we just don't lose as quickly as someone younger. Doesn't me we can't lose, just a little slower.

Come on over and check us out.

You're in good company, honey - we're all in your boat! We can do this, if we stick together.

:carrot:Yay!!

So glad to hear that it all went well with the doctor and dietician - it sounds like you have the right people on your team! How wonderful that they are giving you realistic and attainable goals - that is so important so that you can stick with it and be successful.

You are off to great start - just take it a day at a time - remember: you can do this - you have your husband, doctor, dietician and all of us rooting for you!

Oh girls you are such an inspiration! There's folk on here exactly the same as me! I can't believe it. I've felt so alone for such a long time, and that there was no hope for me, I would just have to settle for fat. The stories on here are inspirational, really. I'll certainly try the over 50's forum slimme. Leeway you would give anyone confidence
I don't know if this is wishful thinking, because I'm not hoping to start a 2lb loss until next week, but my knees haven't been so creaky for the last couple of days.
My mum has demenia and I try to go and see her as often as I can, she's in a wonderful care home but I still feel guilty about it. She lived with us for as long as we could hold on to her, but our daughter started to feel frightened of her weird behaviour. Anyway! when I got out of the car in the carpark of the home (its only a couple of miles from our house) I didn't have any pain in my knees at all!

Hi Dinkey,

I'll look for you over on the +50 Golden Girls site. You are not alone, and there is help.

Getting out of the car and your knees not hurting is a none-scale-victory. You'll start getting a lot of them, the longer you stay on your diet.

Sorry to hear that your mom has dementia. Horrible disease. My mom is getting symptoms too.

:yay:

Just checking in - I'm happy to hear you are doing well. That's good news about your knees - small changes can lead to noticeable results!
I can relate to your experience with your mother - I took care of mine for almost 20 years (11 of them, she was completely bedridden) - there are so many mixed emotions - unless someone has gone through it, it's hard to understand.

Keep reading the goal and mini goal stories - they are what help keep me on track - I'm glad you were inspired by them as well.
Take care - hope you and your family have a nice weekend! :hug:

Hi Dinky, I rejoined sw last week and one of the members recommended this forum. I'm nearly 46 and have lost and regained more times than I care to mention.

My starting weight is 258.5lbs. I'm going to take one step at a time.

Wish I'd found this forum sooner - everyone is so friendly and there is loads of helpful advice.

Good luck on your journey.

Hello veggie patch. We are roughly the same weight. I'm 59. I can't tell you how this forum has helped me. They are fantastic people. It doesn't matter what diet you are on, you get support and not preached at. I'm going across not to start a little thread on the 50+ one. Keep in touch