Hi there! almost to -100!
 

Hi there! I started to join here last year when I started this whole endeavor, but I didn't follow through. So I'm back and want to share my story, and give/get support to reach my goals!

I started back in May of last year. I started at 292 pounds. As of last Sunday, I finally broke that psychological battle and broke 200- I weighed 199 and gasped- because I had not seen a 1 before those two digits in so long. There really is a psychological battle that is way stronger than the physical with this, and this is the biggest reason I need to talk to people that understand where i have been and where I am going with this.

I have battled weight for the last ten years, and at 30 now it was harder to do, but I have lost it, slowly and over the course of over a year.

Now I battle with self esteem worse than before though!! With men, its horrible, I feel like if they arent into me, it is because I dont look ok, or that I am not normal. I dont feel normal. When I look at pics of myself, I cannot see what other people tell me I have achieved and when I do get that smidgeon of confidence, it is easily shattered.

I feel like people just tell me how good I look now because of what I used to look like. As in, if they were to meet me, right off the bat, and not know where I was before, they wouldn't hold the same opinion of me. And I KNOW this is a horrible way to feel, and what people think doesnt matter, but it is SO HARD to get the thought out of my head.

I dont know, I just really wanted to talk to people going through this type of thing with themselves, see that Im not abnormal in thinking stuff like this. Its like, you lose all this weight, you should be GLOWING, and Im not. And I still have another 40 or so pounds to go, so I dont wanna fall off the wagon now.

Anyway, thats my story. Congrats to everyone who has and is overcoming this battle, and for those just starting out, YOU CAN DO IT and don't let anyone or anything make you think you can't!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I constantly worry about what people think of me when I'm out in public. I can't pass a glass window at the mall without glancing over at my reflection and wondering, do I look any smaller? I constantly compare my size to other people who are out and about, wondering if I'm at least at a "normal" size and no longer a circus freak.
Anytime I visit my parents, it's not "hi how are you, how are the kids" but it has always been "you look like you've lost weight, or "you on a diet again?" I feel horrible like, my self worth as a person is not valued but my weight battle is. I get so messed up.
So, I absolutely agree it is a BIG Psychological battle, the whole journey through. It's harder for me too I think because I have been fat my entire life, since kindergarten, I never knew what normal feelings were as far as body image, and self esteem.... heh never had any of that either. But I am working on it. Good Luck the rest of the way, you have come so far. Do not feel alone.

Thank you SO MUCH. Seriously. I think we are all on the same boat here, I am so thankful for this site, I can tell it is going to be a great thing for me and I hope my words can encourage others too. It sucks to feel alone in this battle, it really does, and noone can possibly get this unless they have been there at some point in this battle.

You know what's funny actually? I always post these facebook status messages about my goals and what Ive achieved and my workout things Im doing, mainly for the people that do want to hear it, and for myself to pump myself up, and I always wonder if people who don't know the story, think Im some really egotistical person. But they dont realize, its like, when youre high, youre high and you feel GREAT about all this, and when low, I feel like I just need someone, anyone to validate me, but in the correct way- someone who hasnt seen me "before" and only after.

I really hope that fades over time.

Hi and welcome to 3FC!

Wowee! Congrats on your success and good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

Oh Michelle thank you so much! I look forward to talking with all of you more!

Justforme, I tried to PM you, but it said I had to have ten posts? As soon as I get ten posts Ill shoot you a PM response!. :)

Oh and Michelle, I just saw your numbers, big congrats to you too!

I am just getting used to the site and where everything is, so bear with me lol

Thank you so much :hug: