I want to do it SANELY this time .... (sorry, long)
 

I've been lurking here for nearly a year now while working on losing weight & improving my health.

I owe this board a lot of thanks. Whenever I got discouraged with the process or felt lonely, as I were the only one out there struggling with myself, or whenever I was proud of myself for making sure I exercised despite adversity (snow, an overly scheduled day), I'd get on these boards & read the posts. I already feel like I "know" some of the members -- but it's been a one-way relationship, like with actors in a TV show. So I feel like I need to get in there finally & participate, rather than watching. I need to offer something back.

Like many here, I've lost weight before -- when I was 30, I dropped nearly 90 pounds. I started out healthily but became obsessive about it & developed anorexia. I vaguely sensed something wasn't right, and I tried to respond to my friends & family's concerns by eating normally. But when I did, I seemed to have no concept of moderation. I lost control & became a bulimic binge eater. I tried vomiting, but it grossed me out, so I began was over-exercising for two or three hours a day. I remember going on a trip with a friend. (Which was fraught for me, because I feared I'd have to go without exercising.) We were in Chicago, shopping that afternoon, on a street corner, waiting for a light to change. I was so fearful of being still & not getting enough exercise that I was marching in place, moving my legs. My friend looked at me in a kind of amazement & fear & said, "Can you stop that please?" :o That's when I realized how crazy I'd become.

Anyway, through therapy, and by making a better life for myself, I overcame the binging. But I stopped exercising & put all the weight back on, plus more.

Now, over 10 years later, scared by a diagnosis of pre-diabetes, I've again lost 100-plus pounds. I did it slowly & sanely, over more than 18 months. I have just a few more pounds to lose to hit a healthy BMI on the charts. But I'm trying to monitor myself carefully -- my mental state, I mean. I do NOT want to become obsessive again. I want to make exercising & eating healthily as sane an act as brushing my teeth or showering. The way I see it, there's a difference between washing one's hands a few times a day to avoid germs & the compulsive hand-washing that makes them chapped & raw. I want to stay on the SANE side of the line this time.

(I didn't mean to write so much but I think looking back to our personal history is VERY important in our weight loss journey, and mine is fraught enough that I had to keep it in mind & watch myself to make sure I get it right this time.)

I am new here and I just want to commend you for all you fights and struggles that you had. Along with a few people you have really inspired me to keep it going on. I wish you continued success and many blessings.

Thanks, Kandie. We have to keep on fighting the good fight, don't we? It's for our health. That's what's helped me most -- to remind myself it's about health, not about hotness. For me, personally, that makes it more attainable & keeps me acting more kindly toward myself.

(Not to say that healthy isn't hot, though. ;-)

Please keep me posted. I would loved to know when you hit your goal. You've come along way....!:carrot::hug:

Wow, what a battle. I'm very impressed, both by the difficulties you've overcome and by your determination to try again in a healthy manner. You've come so far. I wish you nothing but success.

You've come a long way in more than one way! I have a hard enough time - I'm so impressed by anyone who deals with eating disorders and becomes healthier. It's inspirational for sure.

Thanks. It is ongoing work. I've had two different therapists & I've had some extremely patient & kind friends who have acted as a reality check at various times. But what helps the most is sort of hitting the "pause" button sometimes & asking myself, "Okay, is this extreme, or is this what your average person with a weight problem would do?"

In other words, it's what would your average 3FC member do? (WWA3FCD?)

Welcome, saef, and thanks for relating your story! When I first saw your stats, I thought - what, she's joining now, after losing all the weight?

But of course it makes all kinds of sense. Most people that regain do not have a concept of maintenance - and especially not the concept that they need as much (or more) support for that. (That's why I love this forum with its many maintainers so much and spend a lot of time reading in that section although I still have some way to go.)

So kudos to you for making this smart move! I look forward to reading more from you! :)

That's exactly it, Heffalump. I do not want to regain. I really want to get it right this time. There really is a sane way to live one's life & that's what I think maintenance is about. It's not just math (calories in, calories out) but also having your head in the game. And as I said, what's really helped me is reminding myself that it's about my health, and thus it's got to be an ongoing concern. And, too, I want to give back to the community, rather than having it all be one way.

im new also...hello everyone..honestly i know im pretty young but im 235 so i like to join sites like this to keep me motivated how do you get those weight counters on the bottom of your posts?

Biggirlnomore, once you have been here for 20 days and have 20 posts you will be able to add a tracker. Welcome to 3FC!

Saef, come see us in maintainers! I'm glad you're delurking!