How can I find motivation?
 

My name is April. I am 30 years old. I have 2 daughters ages 13 & 11 and twin boys that are 7. I have been overweight sibce the birth of the twins. It bothered me a little but never enough to do anything about it long term. Sure I've tried lots of "fad" diets and pills but I just can't seem to stick to anything.

I just realized I have gained almost 12 lbs since Thanksgiving. I don't really understand why. I have had the same bad eating habits for years. I guess it just finally caught up with me. Honestly, on most days I only eat one meal a day. But a couple days a week I just get this strong craving for junk food like chips and chocolate. I rarely eat at work but on my off days I feel like I sit in front of the tv and eat all day long.

I have NO motivation to lose weight. I bought an Ab Lounge Sport 6 months ago and used it twice before hanging clothes on it. I want to get out and walk but every time I think about doing it I just sit down and say well today isnt good so maybe tomorrow.

I am in a fairly new relationship. We've been together since August 07. He wants to get married and have a baby. The thought of walking down the aisle with everyone looking at me scares me to death but still doesnt motivate me enough to get me out of this chair and out of the house. I told him I want to have a baby and I do BUT I don't want to gain the weight from a pregnancy. (I hope I am making sense)

My scales quit working yesterday which is probably a good thing since I have become obsessed with weighing at least twice a day yet I still can't get moving! :o

How do you guys do it?? What motivates you?? I have set a goal at least. I want to lose at least 30 lbs by my birthday in March. This site seems like a great place for encouragement. Please excuse my rambling but for some reason tying all this made me nervous, lol!

Looking forward to meeting a lot of new people!

}i{april}i{

April, have you considered taking the dietary and exercise changes a little slower? It's really okay to just work on one bad habit at a time, or to forge one good habit at a time. You don't have to change overnight! :hug:

Good luck with your weight loss and fitness goals! :wel3fc:

I'm MOH in a wedding next May and the day we went dress shopping last September was what finally motivated me. All the dresses looked horrible on me. I had gotten so used to covering up with bulky clothes that I hadn't realized I had gotten so big. The thought of everyone looking at me during the ceremony terrified me. It also made me realize how ridiculous it was that I was so worked up over a wedding and that I would rather stay home than be in my best friend's wedding.....that's just not normal.

Stop, breathe, and then start putting together a plan.
First, list all of the things that your weight is keeping you from doing.
Next list all the other reasons you want to lose the weight.
Next, list all of the behaviors that are keeping you from losing weight (WHEN you eat is one of them - take it from someone who ate once a day too)
Next, write down what you think a healthy plan for you would be - we are all different. For me, I calorie count since i'm not much into limiting my food choices. Portion control was an issue, not enough protein was an issue, not eating regularly was an issue, etc.

Do the same things with exercise. What do you LIKE to do? What bores you to death? Come up with some ideas of things you can sustain doing. For me, I am bored with repetitive exercise. I found that I like workout DVDS - especially dance routines. I like the 10 Minute Solutions series of videos because I can mix and match 10 minute clips in a variety of ways to keep me from getting bored with the "same old workout".

Now, with all of that information in hand - list some changes you can make now - right now. Just a couple of them. Once you successfully complete those - add a couple more.

And - to answer your question - for me - it wasn't much about motivation. If motivation was needed each day, I would have failed. It was more about tenacity and perseverance. Inspiration came/comes from 3FC - the folk here are great at helping me when I am down, kicking my backside when I need it, and giving me advice when I'm not sure about something.

You CAN do this!

Hi April. Welcome to 3FC. I have a few thoughts for you. I hope you don't mind if I share my perspective. :)

First of all, I think you'll find that a lot of people on this site will tell you two things about motivation: One is that you have to have it for YOU. If you don't want this badly enough, then you're not going to be able to find motivation from anyone or anything else. Two is that motivation only carries you so far - what will make you successful is COMMITMENT. If you are not committed to losing weight, then those days when your motivation is lacking, when you're tired, when your kids are driving you crazy, when you just don't feel like exercising or eating right ... those times will make you give in unless you're committed.

Ok, that said, I want to comment on a few things you wrote:

Id' say this is your first problem. If you don't know why you gained, how can you possibly know how to lose? I would suggest that your first step would be to start keeping a food journal. Write down everything you eat. And I do mean everything. If you have a bite of your daughter's sandwich - write it down. If you lick the spoon while you're cooking dinner - write it down. If you drink a 1/2 a coke in the car on the way to the store - write it down. Write down EVERYTHING. I suspect it'll be a real eye opener to you not only about how much food you eat, but WHAT you eat.

I suspect that your metabolism is kinda screwed -up from years of eating too little, eating badly, eating too much of the wrong kind of thing. It is entirely possible to gain weight eating too little as well as eating too much, if you're not providing your body with adequate nutrition.

The problem with eating one meal a day is that you've trained your body to panic about food. Your body knows that most days you're not going to feed it more than once. So it has learned to hoard the food and nutrition you're giving it. So on the days that you do binge on junk, your body is not equipped to handle all that influx of food properly, so it just converts it all to fat. (That's a fairly simple explanation of what happens, but it's a basic version.) You make that worse when you eat junk and chips and candy - because although your putting FOOD in your body, you're not putting NUTRITION in your body ... so again, your body freaks out and holds on to everything you give it, converting it to fat, because it has no idea when you're going to give it real nutrition again.

Getting back to the difference between motivation and commitment - this is the ONLY thing that's made the difference for me. Let me ask you this - if your twins needed you to do something for them, would you say "Nah, today isn't good. I'll do it tomorrow." If your girls needed your help with homework, would you say "Not today, baby. Maybe tomorrow." Or think about your bills. When your mortgage is due do you look at it and say "Eh. I don't feel like paying it today. I'll pay it next month." Of COURSE you don't. Because these are things that you HAVE to do, if you want to be a responsible parent and a responsible adult.

That's how I look at eating healthily and exercising. It's not something I have a CHOICE about. It's something I do because I'm a responsible adult. And responsible adults don't shirk their responsibilities. They don't put off paying bills, cleaning the house, going to the doctor, getting up in the morning and going to work ... all those things. They aren't things you want to do every day. Sometimes you enjoy them and sometimes you don't. But you DO them. Because you're an adult.

Will that mindset work for you? I dunno. Maybe you're not ready yet. But it has worked for me ... whenever I feel like going straight home from the office because I just don't *want* to go to the gym ... I do it anyway. Because "want" has nothing to do with it.

The thing is ... this journey is both easy and hard. It's easy in the sense that I never realized before how WONDERFUL it feels to be not-fat any more. I never realized before how WONDERFUL it feels to eat good food that's good for my body. I never realized before how WONDERFUL it feels to exercise and see muscles develop in my body and learn what I'm capable of.

But it's incredibly hard to get started. It's incredibly hard to give up your old habits and your old comforts and your old crutches and admit that what you're doing to your body is bad.

Ultimately, though, you HAVE to want it. You have to want it worse than anything you've ever wanted before. Or you'll just look for reasons to quit.

I hope you find your reasons to stay ... because the results are totally worth it. :)

.

Honestly, don't wait for motivation. I can't say that I have, or don't have motivation.

Simply make a commitment to making one positive change. Forget fad diets, they rarely work, and even when they do you're likely to gain weight back as soon as you go back to eating normally. You need to find a better way to eat (and live) that you can sustain. Eating once a day isn't good, binging on junk food isn't either. Depending on what you're eating in that 'one meal' you're likely eating too little, which is why you maybe can't stop from eating too much. When you starve your body it generally fights back by packing on fat (since it doesn't know when the next starvation period is coming).

So decide on what one thing you're going to change tomorrow, and then do it. Don't make it everything, just one little thing. Good luck!

Hi, I'm new to this forum and starting my weight loss journey. I've been struggling with motivation too, and I think you are spot on. I have to look at it as something I need to do, because eventually I WILL have health problems, so thanks for the perspective!

Hi there and welcome! It sounds like you have a lot of responsibilities-- I think instead of looking for motivation outside of yourself, find it internally. You are no good to anyone else (kids, significant other, friends, family, work, etc.) if you are not good to yourself. That is what motivates me every single day. I am making the choice to take care of myself!

Hi
 

Well I read all the replies and you guys are right. I do need to make a commitment. I had decided to go walking today but when I got home from work bf's boss was here and all heck was breaking loose. (with another employer not with bf) So I have spent the last 2 hours listening to fighting and cussing. Anyway, I appreciate all the advice, suggestions, etc... I did right down everything I ate today. Which came to 2 cups of coffee with sugar and cream, 1 can diet dr pepper and 2 peanut butter sandwiches. When bf finally gets off work we are having steak and mashed potatoes. I am going to try my best to do some yago and meditation in the morning. Thanks again everyone!!!