Hi everyone,
I have been lurking on the site for a few weeks now and have been very impressed by the support and the achievements. Just thought I would start out sharing a little of my story, so here goes...
I grew up with a (weight) controlling father. When I was 13 I weighed about 135-40 and my father told me i was getting a little chunky so I needed to workout every night. I lost the weight and spent the next few years between 95-105 lbs. at 16 I married a very (weight) controlling man who insisted I work out and watched every bite i put in my mouth and threatened to leave if i gained weight. Over the 14 years with him my weight yo-yoed. Not to extremes but still too much for him. I got as high as 160. I lost back down to 118 and then went up to 140 and it was just too much for him. I panicked with every pound I gained. Eventually the marriage ended and I told him then that I would gain weight and find a man who loved me fat and would appreciate it when I lost weight, not expect it. well, little did I know i was setting myself up for failure. I did gain weight, I found a man who loves me very much, but all at the cost of my self esteem.
I graduated from university 2 years ago with a degree in health promotion but because of my weight I am too embarrassed to get a job. I just keep thinking that the people will look at me and wonder how I can help others focus on their health when I am by no means the poster child of good health. I am tired all the time, I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I keep asking myself how did I let it get to this point and I still don't know. It doesnt help that my current husband is an excellent cook and lives a very sedate lifestyle.
I'm just miserable and venting I guess. I carry the majority of my weight in my stomach so I look like I'm 8 months pregnant and I am so tired of people asking me when I'm due. I started going to the gym a few weeks ago and I'm watching what I eat. I have lost 5 pounds so far. I still cant believe it. I check the scales every day just to see if they were fibbing the day before.
Some how I ran across this site. Not even sure where. It was a banner on another site and I thought it was a joke. Then i started surfing the site and Ive been back almost every day. I love the support here and I hope I can be a productive part of the community. I look forward to joining you all on my way back to a healthy and happier life.
p.s. thanks for listening to my rant
glad you stumbled upon us.
I'm so glad you decided to post! It stinks that we have to deal with appearances so much, and I understand your fears about applying for a job. Maybe you could check out the workplace and see how the other staff look? Most of the trainers at my gym have spare tires. 
And I've had several overweight and even obese doctors. Maybe it doesn't matter as much as you fear it does? On any count, you're doing a great job at getting the weight off, and I bet you'll be feeling confident enough in no time! 
