Tired of Being a Fat Chick
 

Hello, my name is Susan and I'm from Vancouver, BC. I became aware of this site years ago (in the 1990's I believe). I've decided to join because I've really had it with being a fat chick. I've been overweight most of my life, with a brief window in my late teens/early 20's of being 125 pounds. I recall always deriving pleasure from food, but I really started relying on it heavily to soothe me around age 8 and 9 when I started experiencing sexual abuse and a chaotic/abusive home environment. During that time, I formed all kinds of beliefs about how unworthy and unattractive I was, how being attractive was scarey and bad, and I started to hate my body (which "betrayed" me by starting puberty around this time as well).

Years and countless hours of therapy later, I've started to undo a lot of that damage and am starting to like myself more - so much so, I've left a marriage that really wasn't healthy for me. As I start to invest in myself and in designing a life that is consistent with who I am and what I value, I realize that being overweight - well obese - just doesn't work for me the same way anymore. The weight has protected me in a sense, and has functioned as physical evidence that I think I'm not good enough and don't like myself. So as I throw away those beliefs I feel it's time to throw away the excess fat too. Furthermore, I may be all I have in the future, so it's really up to me to invest in my health so that I can continue to work and make a life for myself, without setting myself up for poor health (e.g. diabetes) or disability (e.g. joint problems) in another 20 or 30 years.

So here I am, age 36, 5'4" and 222 pounds getting started. I am more or less following the GI Diet (I eat the odd banana and potato so I'm not religious about it) and am tracking calories and nutrients using the FitDay desktop software. My goal weight is 130 pounds and I'm giving myself a target date of April 1, 2010 which allows for 1 pound of loss per week. I hope to do it faster than that, but experience tells me setting the bar too high results in failure. That date also represents when I anticipate completing my masters degree in health promotion (ironically). I'd really like to look healthy at convocation!

I look forward to interacting with others on here as we pursue this lifestyle change together. I'm grateful for a site like this that is really comprehensive, allowing for members on various weight loss plans to come together.

Pink Princess, you sound like you've got your head on straight. Your goals are achievable, and your plans to track are ideal. :welcome3: to our forum! I know you'll make a lot of new friends as you undergo your transformation!

hi susan! i'm new here too! =)

it's absolutely wonderful that you have decided to make this commitment and begin the next healing phase of your life. i come from a similar background and know how hard it can be.

you're a beautiful woman and i'm glad you are now seeing worth in yourself!

Hi Susan. It sounds like you know exactly what you want, and don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do it. We all CAN! It's all about believing in ourselves. I hope you make some amazing friendships, and memories. I'm here in Alberta, so if you ever need to talk - By all means. :) Can always use more Canadian friends!

Thank you everyone!

:welcome: to 3FC's

Leenie

Hi Susan,

Welcome at 3FC. Yikes, I had no idea how long the forums have been in existence! (I joined half a year ago).
Congrats on setting such realistic goals for yourself. I am into the slow weight loss as well - it would be nice to wake up tomorrow weighing 15 lbs less, but it's not going to happen so I am in no rush. One pound a week is very achievable and this way, you won't feel like you have failed if you don't lose 10 lbs (for example) a month.

Welcome and good luck, look forward to seeing you around the boards!

Hi Susan! Welcome to 3FC. It sounds like you know what you want and how to achieve it. There is so much support here that you may find your journey easier and more enjoyable than you think. Good luck!

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story with us! We're all here to support you!

:welcome3:

Wow! I can so identify. Welcome, although I just joined a couple of days ago, myself.