I have spent much of this morning lurking on websites, looking at recipes and deciding how to begin my much needed weight loss journey. I am a 37 year old mother of two girls (ages 6 and 10). That right there should be enough motivation to lose weight- to be a positive role model for my daughters. Hard as this is to say (type!) I currently weigh 250 lbs and I'm 5'4". Ugh- there I said it. After the birth of my first daughter in 1997, I managed to lose over 50 lbs, some on WW, the rest on my own- through healthy diet and exercise- and the motivation of my wedding in 1999. I weighed 150 lbs on my wedding day- which many people don't believe because I really looked thin. My father swears I was 120. But- I'm like that- I have always weighed a bit more than I looked. I look at those pictures and those of the year or two that I maintained that weight, and I want it back again. I was about 175 when I got pregnant with my second daughter in 2001. From there, I gained about 65 lbs. I got down to about 190 after she was born, but it's been all uphill since then. My now ex-husband was always belittling my weight---even at my lowest of 150. I know I can only blame my self, but that hurt- alot. I worked so hard, and felt so good, and it wasn't good enough for him. He obviously wanted something out of a magazine.
Within the course of that time, I moved from NJ to Florida. I do not like living in FL- never have- and I have made up my mind to move "home" after this school year (I'm a teacher). There is so much I miss about living in NJ - the seasons, my friends, the familiarity- and after 5 years away, I know that it's time for us to return. So, I look upon this next year as a journey for me. I want to feel better (#1) , look better, feel more confident, just make some major life changes that I know will make me a better "me", a better mother, teacher and have a more satisfying life.
There are days where I feel everybit of the 250 lbs that I weigh. Then there are those days, where I just don't see it. Strange, isn't it? I guess it's how we fool ourselves. I have attempted to lose weight, sometimes with success and sometimes not, a million times, with every plan and gimmick you can imagine. Now, at my age, and at this point in my life, I know I need to do it "right", and be prepared for hard work, dedication, and patience. I am on "vacation" in Nj with my girls now, but will be back in FL by Monday, ready to begin my new journey.
I plan to follow the Weight Watchers plan (I know it inside and out, and love their website too) as well as exercise (alternating between my treadmill and the FIRM- its too hot in FL to exercise outside until like December-for me, anyway) 5-6 days a week.
I am excited, nervous, but determined. I really like the boards on here and I look forward to the support and friendship I hope to find here.
Thanks for reading!



and
on taking that first step !!