Hello,

My name is Kris, 36 years old, happily married, and I'm addicted to food. I love food, love to eat it, see it, cook it, watch food network on tv, spend hours online searching for new recipes, etc.

And as you can guess, I'm fat. I'm also scared because I feel so out of control. I eat non-stop, all day long, and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to lose weight, but it is almost like I just can't help myself stop eating. My portions are too big, I eat the wrong foods, and we don't say the evil ''E'' word in my house (exercise).

I know I am slowly killing myself (and probably my hubby too) with every bite of food we eat. We aren't on any medications (yet) for things like diabetes, heart disease, etc., but if we continue down this fat path, I'm sure we will be soon.

I don't ''see'' myself as fat, but as that younger version of myself 10 years ago around 165 pounds, whereas the truth of the matter is, (oh my, am I really gonna post my actual weight ONLINE?!?!?!?!?!) I weigh 230.

I hide all pictures of myself cause the camera adds 50 pounds (haha), and it has started determining what i will and will not do, because I am so embarrassed of how I look. I hate feeling like this.

I just found 3FC, and am trying to find a diet that I think I can do, but I just don't know where to start. I tried WW, and was always hungry, South Beach diet had me cranky and my co-workers hid from me, and then there is that pesky ''snack'' drawer in the next cubicle at work, filled with candy bars, snack cakes, potato chips, and swiss rolls that keep calling my name everytime no one else is looking.

This is the first day of July, a new month, a new start, and I start healthier living today. Not sure how, but I will just get thru today. Today only. Then I will try again tomorrow, and the day after.

Does anyone have any advice or encouragement for me?

First, to 3FC!

Second, words of encouragement and advice.

1. Figure out what your trigger foods are. What makes you want to binge? Are you addicted to sweets? Breads and pasta? What is it that really makes you not be able to stop?
2. Why do you eat? Is it an emotional response to happy things? Bad things? Just a habit (oral fixation)? Something else?

Once you've figured out those things...

3. Read read read. Find a 'diet' plan you can live with for the rest of your life. On and off dieting can be extremely difficult on your body, so instead of considering a 'diet' to be on for a while, realize you have to change the way you eat and move, maintaining a healthy lifestyle forever.

Once you've found a WoE (way of eating) that you believe you can do for the rest of your life, the following are bits of advice that I've found help ANYONE, no matter their changed WoE.

4. Get rid of the sodas and other sugar filled drinks. If you absolutely must have a soda, drink a 'diet' one made with splenda (and limit yourself to no more than 12 oz. a day) NOT one made with Nutrasweet. Aspartame, aside from being very very very bad for you, is known to stall weight loss. Buy yourself a filter pitcher or a filter for your faucet. If you can't stand the taste of plain water, use lime and/or lemon juice to flavor it. As an alternative to the marketed splenda sweetened sodas you could purchase lime and lemon juice, club soda and stevia or splenda to sweeten and make your own. For some this is too much work though.
5. Give up the evil thoughts about exercise. Exercise is essential to any healthy lifestyle. This doesn't mean you have to go run 10 miles every day. Take up yoga or buy yourself an exercise ball and do simple exercises every morning or evening. Heck, close all the curtains, turn up your favorite music and dance around like a crazy person for a half hour. Anything that gets you moving is good. And the thing about exercise is - the more you do it, the better you will feel and the more you will want to do it.

Again, welcome to 3FC! I hope you find what you are looking for and wish you the best. There are a lot of support groups here.

Welcome! My advice would be to take things one day at a time. Dont go over board make small lasting changes. Start to get some exercise in. Even if you start walking for 15mins a day do it!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to start somewhere. Good Luck dont give up you can do it!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning Kris and WELCOME You have taken the first step and thats what counts! I have been where you are before,and it can be done. If you dont like weight watchers, you can always try calorie counting..Thats what Im doing now (still writing down my points..lol)..Everyone is different and not everyone can stick or loose from weight watchers. You just gotta try em all and see what works for you. I have been doing weight watchers for over 2 years,and no matter what I do to play with points,I think my body is stuck in a rut..So Im gonna get it out by calorie counting and see how that pans out. But congrats for starting day 1..Come here often,everyone here is wonderful

Hi . . . . . . so glad to have you joining us . . .

You will find many of the more popular and healthier eating plans described here . . . have a good read of all of the information and hopefully one will call out to you as being something you can life with forever. They all work, it's just a matter of finding the one that is right for you.

Personally I use a combination of the principles of low GI/GL plans and the principles of Volumetrics, so guess I've developed something pretty much my own and it does seem to be working, albeit slowly.

Hi fourangelsmommie

I don't post very often...I tend to read more than write, but your post struck a chord with me, so I wanted to offer you my support, for what its worth.
I too have struggled over the years with food issues; right now I am at a healthy weight, but the problems with disordered eating remain.
The one thing that I have found that works best for me is actually staying off the scale for a while when you are trying to start over -- I know this is not for everyone, as some people want the motivation that the scale can bring; its just that for me, I find myself always allowing the scale to dictate my behavior and/or feelings for that day -- if I'm down, then that's good, but then I get scared that tomorrow I won't be -- and if I'm up, well, you know what that means.. which can ultimately lead to binge behavior.

There is a lot of great advice here...I can only echo what others have replied to you...look around and you'll find what works for you. For me, to get back on track its no scale for a while (i'd actually love to get to no scale forever), and some variation of the intutive eating method: eat what you want, only till satisified. Some days its good, some days I struggle, and some days I fall down...

Please know that you are not alone in this, and that you should be proud of yourself for trying...

Good for you for coming here and making a new start.

The one thing that I find myself saying over and over here is this: When you first get started, before you make any major changes or pick any diet plans or anything ... start a food journal.

Before you do anything spend ONE WEEK writing down everything that you put in your mouth. Even if it's a taste of the soup as you make it or the peanut butter crust that you cut from your kids bread. And don't forget to include your drinks - anything except water has calories and will count. Write. It. Down.

Just do that. Just for one week.

I suspect it will open your eyes to what you're eating and how much of it. I know it did for me. When I had to write things down, suddenly I thought "do I really want to have to write down that I ate a 1/2 a bag of chips?"

Once you've done that for a week, you'll really be able to see what your trigger points are. And you can start making small changes that are *life* changes and not a "diet".

That's what I'd suggest to start.

I'm not going to wish you good luck - becuase it's not about luck. It's all about you!

.

I share many of your feelings...I lost 70 pounds seven years ago by taking diet pills, eating as few carbs as possible and walking, walking, walking. And it's taken me seven years to gain it all back plus 20!

I have no idea why I didn't begin dieting and walking when I had to buy the first size 12's and 14's. Why didn't I get upset until I'm looking at 22's and 24's? So that's yesterday. And we get a new day every morning. I think I'm going to pretend I'm an alcoholic and consciously work one day at a time. Otherwise, it's too overwhelming.

And I started the alli capsules, and I'm beginning their walking plan today. I have to [/COLOR][/COLOR]walk for 10 minutes and turn around and walk back. I can do that...even at 240 plus pounds. I'm not really sure of my weight; I threw my scales in the trash last year. So let's encourage each other?

Welcome!! You have taken the first step towards taking control of your life. The journey will not always be easy but you have to stay focused on the end result. If you slip up along the way....it is ok... dust yourself off and get right back up.

Find a plan that works for you... for me it was a combination of slimfast and calorie counting. Also, make sure that you are eating the correct amount of calories for your weight each day... eating too little can make you hungry and cause overeating...

Look to this forum for support and everytime you feel yourself getting ready to grab a forbidden snack... hop on the forum and read some posts... it really helps to pass the time away and divert your focus.

Thanks for the welcome. I appreciate the suggestions, and the suggestion for diverting my attention. I need tools for short-circuiting myself BEFORE I get so focused on eating some particular thing that I do it without thinking. I'm keeping an on line journal and writing down everything I eat BEFORE I eat it. I hope that will help!

I think the first thing really is to get rid of the disgust and self-loathing. I know a few people claim it motivated their weight loss, but I think it's much more likely to be demotivating, because if you're disgusting, you're not worth the effort.

Also, if the fat is "disgusting" and "loathsome" it becomes very tempting to get it off quickly, not sensibly. After all, who wants to be "disgusting" a moment more than they have to be. Even if it's dangerous, a promise of quick weight loss looks pretty good when you want to stop being the grotesque freak.

That's been my experience, anyway. It's only been when weight loss isn't the only motive (as opposed to eating healthier, becoming stronger and more active...), that I've been able to lose AND keep it off. I'm losing slower than ever, but maintaining longer than ever also. It is a trade-off, but it's worth it. Not only because the effects are longer lasting, but because I deserve to and can enjoy my life and like myself now, not just when I reach my goal weight.

I heartily recommend the Weight Watchers core plan. It's amazing. I lost all my cravings for sugar and chocolate in like 2 days. The reason is that I stopped eating all the garbage (overly processed food, sugary/salty foods, fatty foods) and focused instead on eating whole foods (fruits/veggies, whole grains, fat free dairy, and lean meats). You are not counting points. You eat to satisfaction, and pay attention to your hunger signals so that you stop eating before you are stuffed. It really works. I have lost 31 pounds in about 16 weeks. (I average about 2 pounds weight loss a week). I like the fact that I am losing weight while nourishing my body AND not being hungry. I also like the meetings. They keep me on track and motivated. But I had to go to a couple different meetings before I found a leader who I like. She is awesome! She helps me set goals and keeps me interested in going to the meetings.

I know there are other plans out there. But I wanted to mention the core plan because you said you had already tried WW (You must have been doing flex where you count points) and were hungry all the time. Also, I thought I had food addiction until I realized that my cravings and feelings of being out of control were related to the vicious cycle of eating junk food and then craving it more. I really don't feel out of control anymore. I don't have the cravings, at least not very often, and not very intensely. I do admit to sometimes wanting a treat, but it's not that intense feeling of having to have it.

Coming here is a really great place to start.

Everyone has made so many excellent suggestions that I really only have one thing to expand on - Snapless gave you a really, really important key: Identify your trigger foods. I can tell you from experience that, as hard as it is, resisting that first bite is not as hard as resisting the second (or the twenty second) bite of a trigger food. Trying to eliminate absolutely everything that's not the healthiest choice can be pretty overwhelming at first so if you start by just eliminating the trigger foods while still allowing yourself a few things that maybe aren't the greatest choices but that you are able to put down after a small serving might make the transition a little easier.

Whatever plan you decide to try out, try and have a little patience - things won't happen overnight - but, be prepared to make adjustments to your plan if something isn't quite working (you'll find the word "tweak" in a lot of our posts ) - and you CAN do this! We're all pulling for you!

I know just how you feel! When i look at pictures of me, i'm like, who the **** is that~!~??>???

Don't give up, you can do it! One day at a time is the best way! If you screw up one day, don't the next. It's ok if you do. Because the next day will be better. Keep on doing your best, that's all any of us can do.

Good luck.

Thanks so much to everyone for all the great advice and kind words. It is comforting to know that the very people who are giving this advice have been in the same position as I am now and understand what it is like to go thru this.

I sat down and decided there are 4 areas that I can improve on from here on:

I will ''S.T.E.P." into a healthier me by doing the following--
S - start writing down my food and moods
T - try to eat healthier foods by adding more fruits/veggies/ low-cal foods.
E - try to exercise more every day
P - portion control

I think I can do this, one day at a time with support from this wonderful site. Thanks to all!
Kris

P.S. Can someone tell me what the s/c/g stands for under the avatars on some members comments?