Hi. I'm Jenny. I live in the Seattle, WA area. I've been losing weight since July 5th, 2007. My start weight was EXACTLY 300 pounds. That hideously huge number happened to me so fast. I'm 29 now.
When I was 16, I was a perfect 145lbs. My tummy was flat and all the boys loved me. I would go to a local gym and work out with my family and use the tanning beds. I would drive around in my 5.0 Mustang Convertible wearing my little dresses and sunglasses. I thought I was so hot.
I gained maybe 10 lbs when I was 17. I started getting paranoid that I was fat. I started believing it so much, it started coming true. When I think about it now, that's when my first boyfriend and I got "serious" and I started birth control pills... I'm sure the hormones didn't help with the weight gain.
I turned 18 and my boyfriend enlisted in the army. He wanted me to go with him. The recruiter told me I had to weigh at least 145 lbs to be able to qualify to get in. I lied to my boyfriend (because I was embarrassed) and said that's what I weighed when really I was at 165. When the day came to swear in, I got a phone call and it was a job offer for an insurance claims processor. That was my excuse to him for not enlisting with him. I had to say goodbye to him and I got so depressed. I was actually diagnosed as clinically depressed and the dr's office and prescribed lorazepam. (a terribly addicting drug by the way, should never be prescribed as a long term drug, especially to a teenager...I was fortunate enough not to get hooked, but my mom did and still is on them. Just a warning.)
My new job was boring. All I did was sit at a desk for 8 hours a day. I gained more. I got painfully shy because I worked with older women who were more mature and outgoing than I was... plus I felt ugly. I was 185 at that point. I started seeing myself as a fat girl. My mom gave me her phen/fen and I lost 30 lbs overnight. I wasn't eating. As soon as I quit that crash diet I gained all my weight back plus another 30 pounds! I reeeally let myself go after that.
I became really talented in the office and with a computer. So that's where my career went, in front of a computer all day everyday. I would go on crash diets every now and again and every time I'd lose about 30 lbs. As soon as I quit the crash diet tho, I'd gain back the 30 and then some.
In my mid twenties I was living on my own with my sister and we didn't have much money. So we'd eat $1 menu fast food a lot. After I was over 250 I didn't look forward to anything, except what I was going to eat that day. The only comfort I found was in food and I made sure I had a lot of it. My sister and I both got really fat. My brother (who's a muscle bound gymoholic ultimate fighter) really started getting angry at us and putting us down all the time.
We decided to join a gym. I lost 30 lbs (again), but then gained it back when my sister and I moved in with my best friend and her brother. My best friend is also heavy. So it was just all of us eating crap all the time. Last year I started gaining weight faster than I normally would. I think it was because of some new food habits I picked up from my friend and people at work... lots of cheese and bread and candy...eating at the cafeteria every day.
Last June I got on the scale and I was 300 lbs exactly! I felt sick. I went out and bought some alli. My alli start date was July 5th. I have lost 41 pounds on the alli diet. But, I hit a plateau. I've been between 254-259 since September!!! I keep cheating on my diet and then going back to it.
I've maintained this weight okay, but I want to start losing again. So much so that I made a gym in my guest bedroom. I have a treadmill, an exercise bike, an ab lounge, a medicine ball, little weights, and lots of exercise dvds with a tv and dvd player in the room. I posted the walls with sexy man pictures for motivation. My problem is trying to get ME to go INTO the room and USE IT!!! It's been there almost a month now and I've only went in there 3 times.
Do you have any secrets to get me motivated? Am I ever going to LIKE exercising? I need support. I work 11am - 7:30pm. I have a really hard time getting up in the morning. (I have sleep apnea and am using cpap) When I'm at work is when I have the most energy, so I've walked up the parking garage and taken 7 flights of stairs several times, but I hate getting sweaty at work. I must exercise after work. My dr. prescribed me a low dose of phentermine to go with my alli as a "boost" to get back on track. So here I am, with all the tools I need at my disposal, sitting AGAIN in front of the tv with my computer on my lap. What should I do?
