Ahhhhhhhh! I'm new and going crazy!!!!
 

Hello, everyone! I am afraid that this is going to be a heavy introduction. I have been a dieter since my grade school years. I was a slender child involved in sports especially gymnastics but always felt fat. I believe it was projection from my own mother's insecurities about her weight as well as a group of very mean girls that attended school with me.

In high school I turned to running to pound my depression and unhappiness into the ground. At age 15 weighing 98 pounds on a 5'4" frame I had a wake up call and began to slow down on the extreme dieting. I held my own until age 22 when I was in a horrible auto accident that years later I still battle arthritis daily. Not being able to run the 4 miles daily that kept me sane helped me pack on the pounds that over an 8 year period has brought me to almost 170.

I struggle with insomnia and chronic fatigue syndrome, one leaves me unable to sleep while the other leaves me wanting to constantly sleep. And that is what I am now an exhausted, overweight, ex-runner that no matter the countless fitness magazines and diet books, no matter what self help reading or too tight clothes, no matter the fact that I HATE ME, I still can't seem to get up and just do what has to be done to find that person that I know exists in me.

I know that I am not the only one out here that has ever struggled with this and I need to know. What were your breaking points? What was the final push or motivation that caused you to start your journey to health? What is the motivation that keeps you going even when you desperately don't want too? I'll thank everyone in advance that replies to this rant and hope that it helps anyone else out there that reads this and is struggling like me.

Hi there!

:wel3fc:

You might fit really well in the "Dieting with Obstacles" area....particularly the Chronic Fatigue. Head on over and check it out!

We also have a 30-Somethings area that might be a good fit.

Wherever you decide to post, settle in and keep going. What sort of plan are you following?

My final push into forcing me to admit that the weight had become a problem for me was my husband saying that if we didn't know each other and he saw me in a bar, he wouldn't even talk to me. Wah! But what an eye-opener.

:welcome3:

I am working on reading The Zone, and Sugar Busters right now. I am leaning toward a diet of non-processed foods and am researching GI attributes. So I haven't fully decided on an exact plan yet I am just eating healthy at this point.

TheWalrus- That's harsh! I struggle now with how I look next to my husband. He was blessed with the metabolism that allows him to eat anything in whatever amount he chooses and never gain an ounce! I used to be the cute bartender standing next to the cute well-built guy, now I'm the 'How did she get him!?' girl!

It was very harsh -- and he knows that it wasn't the right thing to say or the right way to approach the situation -- but it may have been the beginning of my acceptance of the situation...it hasn't been easy, but I'm not sure it ever would have been, so...well...not sure I've totally forgiven him for that yet, but by the time I get to goal, I may even be thankful!

First.... Hugssssss. I'm so sorry you feel this way.

I can't relate to the insomnia or the chronic fatigue syndrome (although both my mother and sister have chronic fatigue). I do know however, that when I don't work out or eat properly, my health really suffers... as does my engergy.

I cringe to read the words: "I hate me" - sighhhhh. I hate how our self image, whether we be overweight or not, has such an impact on our lives and how we view ourselves.

I'm not sure I can say I've actually "struggled" with my weight - since for the majority of the time I just didn't really care enough to even bother with the struggle. My idea of struggle was for a few weeks here and there.

A friend of mine took a picture at a gathering and gave it to me. It was a horrible picture and I was going to rip it up. Instead, I posted it where I can see it every day. I looked so bad in it and I thought "wow, this is what everyone else sees??" Funny how when we look in the mirror, we just don't see US

Anyways... What worked for me most recently was (and I'm doing it entirely on my own) weight watchers. They use a "point system" - every food has a value.

Ie:

chicken salad sandwich 10 points
1 2oz sweet roll 5 points

You are allotted x number of points per day doing the "flex system". If I were to do that... I'd be allowed 22 points per day.

See how easy it would be to eat up 15 points? As it is however, I'm doing what they call the "Core" system. You are allowed foods from a core list. ALL healthy... and can have as much as you want (within reason of course). Then, on both programs you're allowed bonus points per week. Definitely something to look into if you're not familiar.

I've lost 10 pounds doing this (and exercise)... since Feb 25th. I certainly can't complain about that!

Shauna