[Tavinni]

For a while I have been contemplating whether or not to share my story. Though I am in the very beginning of my weight loss journey, the support here has already helped me through many of my ups and downs, providing me with advice and the tools that I am going to need to finally be successful against my battle with all my excess weight. Maybe my story of why I am doing this will help someone else.

I have been overweight my entire life and I have tried so many different types of diets unsuccessfully that over time I actually learned quite a lot about nutrition. I remember in high school being so desperate to lose weight that all I would eat was an apple and a meal. My best friend and my mother quickly joined forces and got me off of that particular diet.

I was a sensitive kid, and people often talked about me and the way that I looked like I wasn’t in the room, having conversations with my parents about ways for me to lose weight. In school I was always the girl with the pretty face who was friends with the boys but never dated them.

People in the street who didn’t even know me would snicker and talk. The worst was when someone oinked at me while I was walking home from the mall after a terrible day of shopping for clothes. I was probably 16 years old at the time and I still can remember exactly how that made me feel.

Over the years I avoided people making fun of me by making fun of myself first. Even though I knew there was nothing funny about my situation or the fact that others found something so funny in the things that I would say. At least in that way I had the power of being the joker and not the joke.

Through all of my diets I never lost much and part of me accepted that I was going to heavy for the rest of my life. I still do the things that people my age do. I hang out and go clubbing. I make friends wherever I go. Even with all these people and movement all around me there is a feeling of undeniable loneliness when you aren’t comfortable with yourself and the way that you think you look. I feel like everyone’s eyes are on me and I hate it.

I commend all the big beautiful women out there who are comfortable in their skin and I wish that I had a quarter of that kind of confidence. This summer my body was the topic of many conversations and one of them finally got back to me. A young man talked to one of the young ladies at my job who was close to me and he had told her that no one would ever want to be involved with me and that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Those words are my motivation. I let them hurt me for a long time and that hurt has turned to anger and is motivating me to prove him wrong. In the end I have decided that I am going to thank him. I am not going to give up at every speed bump on my way.

I don’t have any support except for 3FC. Other than that I am doing this all on my own and I really do think that the support on this site is going to be the thing that makes the difference for me. I am older and have been through quite a bit of disappointments when it comes to my weight and I am so ready to live my life to the fullest and not hold myself back. I think that the young man’s words from this summer symbolized a fate of nothingness that I am not willing to accept. I am going to be happy and heathy and I am ready to work for it. So expect to see me for a while 3FC, I am not going anywhere!

I know it’s a long entry…sorry.

[Lovely]

I'm sorry to see that these many things have hurt you. But it hasn't killed you, it will make you stronger.

You are more than just a number on a scale. We're all here for you. And definitely... keep posting.

[jamsk8r]

Tavinni, thanks for sharing your story.

I had pretty much the same high school experience, but because of being more of a tomboy type and a brainy geek to boot. (double cooties, lol!) I'll always have cooties, but you can lose the weight...isn't that a t-shirt?

You'll be a super hot god-dess, and that guy will just be putting on his beer belly...no worries!

Cheryl

[CountingDown]

Oh, how your post touched my heart! We are here for you! Please stay strong - you CAN do this. You are a wonderful person - REGARDLESS of your weight. Do NOT let it define who you are!

We are here to help you any way that we can. You CAN do this!!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers

[Healthy Mama]

thanks for sharing your story. It brought back some unpleasant childhood memories for me too, always being the chubby girl. Yep it sucked alright. That guy and his cruel comments may be your motivation, but you are losing the weight for you, not him. You are worth it! You can do it!

[srmb60]

Hi and welcome!

That's not long ... it's what you felt ... and that's what 3FC is here for.

We live such busy lives nowadays. People come and people go. People who truly care about us and our plight are few and far between. However ... here at 3FC ... we're all here for the same reasons.

Any moment of any day ... 3FC is here for you.

[Tavinni]

Awww thanks ladies!

Healthy Mama- I am definately doing this for me and only me! His words were a verbalization of a fear of mine. I am happy trying to lose weight and get excited every time the number gets lower.

Just wanted to share my story because i know that there a lot of people here who come across others who make their experience in trying to better themselves harder. I am not giving into all of that negativity anymore and I am ready to channel all of that energy in a positive way.

[tleef]

Tavinni: I can totally relate to your story. I've been overweight since elementary school and have been the brunt of many jokes. The difference is my parents always taught me that the only reason people need to make fun is because they feel so badly about themselves and so I learned young to pitty the people that made fun of me.

I also want you to know that I got engaged at 227lbs! He loves me no matter my size! There is always someone out there if you're ready for him/her. Any FYI my fiance is a very active fellow and is 6'1" and about 170lbs. That doesn't really mean anything, but I want you to realize that being with him made me want to be fitter...I want to run with him...I want to swim with him. He's not forcing at all...in fact every time I drop a clothing size he says "just so long as there is still something to grab onto when you're done..."

Only YOU can make yourself happy! You have to change your lifestyle becuase YOU love yourself and want to live a long healthy life! You are your own best friend and your own worst critic. I hope you feel better and I think you're doing so amazingly well already that before you know it you'll be noticing looks from the fellas...and I'm not saying that it's not ALREADY happening, I think you're probably just not in a place yet to see it!

Cheers,
Tamara

[ellis]

Tavinni, I'm so glad you shared your story.
What that young man said was a terrible thing, but you turned it around and made it into something that would positively affect your life. My gosh... do you know how big that is? Some of us are in therapy to learn how to do that! I am so impressed with your attitude. Keep at it, girl.

[shelby897]

You appear to have such a positive attitude, which can only help you in your journey. And, I hope that man ends up lonely and alone, for being so superficial (sorry, that's just the little chubby kid in me coming out ).

And, I agree with Tamara, there is someone for everyone and people should fall in love with the person inside, not the presentation of someone's appearance.

You are doing a great job and just being here you are not only helping yourself but providing encouragement for others.

Best wishes for you in everything you do!!