Hello everybody *waves* I found this site just under two weeks ago by chance... I read Robin's story and it inspired me so much that decided I *had* to join.

I've just turned 26, I live in West Sussex in the UK and I'm single. I'm also one of those weird goth girls, but don't let that put you off - i'm really very nice!

Basically I've been overweight all my life and utterly miserable along side that... I keep feeling that I'm missing out on so much being the weight I am. I've dieted in the past - some worked better than others but I've never managed to keep the weight off. In fact I've progressively got bigger and bigger over the years and felt my life was spiralling out of control.

In January this year I started a new job as a cleaner at a local high-school. It's not very glamourous however it's a physically active job [I have 3hrs a day to clean 3 very large sections of school] By starting this type of work I realised how out of shape I was! [You can hide a lot under clothes and ignore the problem to a degree, but when you're sweating profusely and struggling to get the work done it really hit home]. After a month I noticed that I was losing weight... and it kept coming off for the first couple of months. It was around that time I gave myself a "healthy eating" overhaul and basically cut out all the fattening foods I was eating on a daily basis in favour of more healthy ones and I still continued to lose weight.

Up until this point I was doing a-ok. From February [when I first noticed my weight dropping] I've lost I think 3 dress sizes and roughly 37lbs and I'm really happy about that... however i've hit a major plateau despite walking everywhere and exercising frequently outside my job. Also I'm not eating too little or the wrong kind of things.

I've reached a point where I'm desperate to stay on track but not get put off by the fact I'm maintaining as opposed to losing now... This is where you guys fit in! I've been doing this alone and that's worked up until now but I think I'd do even better with the company - knowing I'm not the only person on the planet trying to lose weight will probably be invaluable to me. I really owe it to myself to keep on going but it's getting hard y'know?

My plan is to ride out the rest of the year with my generally sensible eating plan... however i'm going to go on a low-carb diet - which I have done in the past and had the most success with/its better for me as I have intollerances to Wheat, Milk and most Dairy produce - as soon as the Xmas holidays are over [I have too many parties/clubs to go to and that involves alcohol which isn't permitted on such a diet... I'd rather start afresh than get frustrated and give up before I've given it a chance]. So any pointers or people following a diet like this are more than welcome to nudge me in the right direction - especially when it comes to exercise [I like many people am paranoid about having bad muscle definition and loose skin once I've met my target weight].

I simply *have* to lose the weight this time and for good... I want to fit the slender goth aesthetic, I want to be healthy and active, I just want it SO much!! And with the support of you lovely people I know I'll do it this time.

Thanks for reading! I'll most probably be found in the Alternachicks/UK boards, but I'll read posts everywhere when I can and pop in to say hi from time to time.

~ Little B. xx

and good luck with sticking with your plan. Be sure to hang around as there is alot of support to give and receive here.

Welcome Little B!! You will do great here, everyone is fab!! Hey we are very similar in the stats by the way, have you tried keeping track of your measurements also?! I find that sometimes the pounds stop but the inches are coming off too - just a thought!! Keep at it!!

Welcome Little B.

Hey Hey Little B

I've also been overweight my entire life, so I know exactly where you're coming from. We can get the weight off & keep it off ^^ YAY!

Thanks so much for the warm welcome girls! *hugs* I've had a really busy week and kept meaning to stop by again before now... so sorry about that. But thank you! All of you are doing so well... if you need any words of encouragement back give me a yell - I'm apparantly good at motivating everyone except myself, lol, so if you ever need some friendly words or are having a bad day, come tell me what's up and I'll try to cheer you on!

~ Little B xx

PS. Knowing that some of you guys are at a similar weight and/or have been overweight most of your lives is priceless to me. I keep feeling out on a limb because a lot of my friends have either *never* had a weight issue, or have only been overweight a very short second in time... it's not easy when you're the big girl trying to get healthy when everyone around you doesn't seem to have the same problems or amount to lose as you. Thanks for making me feel human again. *hugs* xx

Be sure to keep posting Jump in on any thread you want ^^

Hi Little B!!!

I won't be put off by the Goth! I used to be one myself, still got the old Cult and Sisters LP's about, but nowdays I'm just plain weird LOL. I'm off to see Super Furry Animals tonight, and I generally dress like a hippie

I know what you mean about the whole slim goth thing ... I've never been a skinny girl so I never really fitted that waif like goth scene ... now I love those smock tops but you can only really wear them if you're a size 8 grrrrrr!!!

Hehe, I think it's safe to say there aren't many places on this planet you can go to and not encounter someone that is goth or was part of the scene at some point!

There's nothing wrong with being weird... it's people like us JenJam that keep the place interesting!

How was the S.F.A. gig? Did you have fun?

And tell me about it... I absolutely adore PVC stuff... but I will *not* clad myself with it until I'm a regular size... it just looks bad on a bigger person and you get looked at for all the wrong reasons [club veteran so I know what I'm talking about there]. Similarly I can't wear those low-cut peasant tops - the words "bar-wench" spring to mind >_<

Still, at the end of this weight loss journey I'd still like to look like a girl as opposed to the pre-pubescent models they design most clothes for. I *like* my curves... but I just want a lot less of them, lol.

~ Little B xx

hi little B
a very warm welcome.
i think u r great! u have done so well so far and u r an inspiration to me! u will succeed in your path just like we all will.
keep it up.

Hi Little B

Don't get me wrong - I love being different!

The SFA gig was fanstastic, they played some new stuff and the old faves ... Golden Retriver, Man Don't Give a F*** and did a version of Northern Lights in the style of Husker Du, which was something else. it was at the Roundhouse in Camden, lovely venue!

I know exactly what you mean about keeping some curves. What I'm about to say probably won't make me too popular but I used to be quite skinny in my early 20's, size 10 and 5'7", weighed about 9 stone which is just underweight and you know what? No boobs, no bum, figure like a teenage boy! I relied heavily on padded bras and pants ... DEF have no need of these now but I wouldn't want to go back to that. I like being woman shaped. Clothes hang better (did I mention that my main motivation on losing the flab is to wear the clothes I like? LOL) And I'd love to be able to wear them without tummy control pants (like I wore on my wedding day, wish i'd been slimmer).

Anyhoo, hope you're doing OK. I had my first day back on WW today and it went well, I've under eaten. But I am having a blood test tomorrow at 10.30, so am not allowed to eat anything after 8.30pm. I could do with spending those last couple of points on a low fat choc mousse .. ah well. Every little helps, as Tesco keep saying.

Take it easy, hope your day went well.