Wow, what can I say? I found this site and forum a couple of days ago when I finally got completely sick and tired of my weight loss efforts NEVER working.
My name is Karen, I am from Connecticut and I have been struggling with my weight my entire life. I was a chubby kid, and it didn't help that I had two beanpole sisters and mother who, even now at 58 years old, has been a constant 125lbs her entire life. I was 125lbs when I was 10! As I reached my teens I "grew into myself" and sustained a steady weight of about 135lbs for many years. I wish I had appreciated then how great I looked - I'm 5'4" and while my doctor's chart claimed 135 was still too heavy for me, I know better now. I have a large frame for my size - wide shoulders, hips, and a very muscular frame (thanks dad! ha. ha.)
After college, I became depressed due to a number of factors in my personal life, and combining that with jobs in restaurants and a steadily growing desire to "escape" my problems by being very social (translation -- going out to the bar every night and having several beers) I reached a weight of about 230lbs.
Five years ago I met the man of my dreams, and with his help and support I dieted, and exercised - I wanted to look good for him and I defintely didn't feel sexy as a size 18! I was sick of myself, couldn't look in the mirror, and as out of shape as I was, couldn't keep up with my althletic boyfriend even on simple things, like short hikes in the woods.
I did atkins, and before I knew it, I was a fit 165lbs. My goal was to get close to around 140... I was sooo close!
and then I quit.
I don't know why I did - but I do. There were too many "other things" going on in my life and weight loss and fitness and health lost their place on my priority list. I didn't gain it ALL back, but gain I did.
Over the last year or so, I've been trying -but not terribly hard- to lose that weight again. I went to the doctor, she told me I was "genetically predispositioned" to being heavier - my sisters are heavy now, as are many of my aunts and uncles. I have great blood pressure, my cholesterol is within healthy ranges, other than the fact that I am technically obese, I'm as healthy as a horse. She prescribed me xenical, even though I mentioned to her that low fat diets never worked for me and that I was not so keen on using a weight loss aid. I lost 6lbs the month I was on the medication, but hated every minute of it. I'm just more of a natural girl and felt the side effects weren't worth it for me - not so much the nasty BMs (didn't have much of that) but the bloating and gas were intolerable.
I have an office job now, and am not nearly as active as I was when I was on my feet for 12 hours a day in the restaurants. In addition to that, people are always bringing treats and cookies into work and it is SO HARD to say no to temptation!
So, today is a new day, and I am tired of being tired and unfit and eating junk and being heavy. I "technically" started yesterday and must say that day #1 was successful. I had a healthy breakfast, my snacks during the day at work were fruits and veggies - NOT chips and pretzels. I managed to say NO to the takeout, NO to the treats and cookies (which were offered within minutes of walking into work) I had a nice lean dinner and stayed away from foods that I know don't make me feel good and aren't good for me. I felt great all day and am wondering now why I didn't keep up the healthy eating I did for so long - I had no after lunch drowsiness, snacking on light foods kept me full all day the way heavy takeout never does, and my energy level was running at almost 100% all day - with no caffine!
I'm considering this a fresh start, but I'm reaching out to the forums here for the support that I am definitely not getting from my friends and coworkers.
My goals are:
- to continue eating in a manner that I know is healthy for me (avoiding processed foods, sugars, heavy starches, etc)
- to go to the gym more than once a week (I work 50 hours a week and have an hour commute on top of that, but I am paying for it, i need to make the time)
- on the days I don't go to the gym I am going to do at least 15-30 minutes of cardio at home. I have a library of fitness dvds, not to mention digital on demand. I use those right now about once a week as well.
I don't have a specific timeframe, but my ultimate goal is to look at least as good as I did in high school - if not better! by my 30th birthday. That means I need to take off the weight, keep it off, and get more fit. I have one year and 11 months in which to do this, which should be more than enough time!
Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry that this got so long - it was supposed to be an introduction, not a life story, but I tend to run at the mouth a litte!
