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Old 09-21-2007, 10:29 AM   #1  
Me at 160
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 22

S/C/G: 195/193/135

Height: 5'5''

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Good morning everyone. I am new to posting at 3FC. I have come to these boards off and on. I just spent about 1/2hr. looking at some amazing before/after pics on this site. Wow!! It shows me that it will happen if I am patient. I've added this sentence in later, because I didn't think I'd go on and on, so sorry for that. I guess I really need to get this all off my chest!!
This past winter/spring I lost 15lbs. at WW. I was down to 185 and was starting to feel a difference then I stopped going. Why? I was getting off track and getting tired of counting points and just not doing well. I probably should have kept going anyway even if I wasn't doing the greatest. This summer I gained 10 pounds. I am back up to 195.
I am like many others posting on here in that I don't realize I am that much bigger (until I see a photo!!) I guess it creeped up gradually and i didn't notice it as much. Ten years ago, I weighed 145 and felt fat. I had been comfortable at 135 for several years prior to that so 145 felt fat. I'd be thrilled to weigh 145 right now. I can remember having a picture taken at 145 and trying to hide my legs. In fact I cut off the bottom half of the photo when I noticed my now dh had it propped up on his dresser. Wow! It is such a mind game for me. I tend to sabotage myself as well, not sure why.
My journey has been as thus maintained 135 for several years, then after 3 kids was up to 155. Lost 10lbs just by cutting back, no counting calories or points and maintained that for two years.
Got remarried and gained 15lbs in the first year. That brought me up to 160. One more baby and then I was in the 170's for several years. Two years ago I did South Beach and went down to 159 then when I stopped for the first time ever I gained it all back and more. Worse thing I ever did. I think I took it too far though and wasn't eating enough. Now I'm at 195. I wear a size 14/16 and XL t-shirts. I tend to wear fitted clothes so I am probably more of a sixteen in pants, depends on the cuts. But the 14's are definitely getting tight.
I have a very stressful life - blended family, big family, work, and volunteer commitments, live in a house that's too small and struggle financially. I also like being outdoors walking my dogs, have done alot of exercise in the gym over the years but lately don't seem to take time for any of that. I think I've just lost sight of myself. When I think about how fat I am now, I just feel like I can't even lose this weight although looking at those before and after pics tells me different. I find it hard to keep focused on the weight loss. Somedays I just don't want to deal with it or have to think about it. I feel self-conscious at work like my outer appearance is a reflection of some inner weakness. It doesn't help that most of the people I work with have degrees and I don't, another reason to feel like I don't measure up. I hope with some support here that I'll be able to stay focused and reach my goal. That is another thing I feel bad about is that I have tried so many times in the past 2-3 years to lose the weight and I always give up and then I feel like a failure so you don't want to try again.
Sorry to be so negative sounding. Yikes1 Despite dumping that all out here, I am generally a positive, upbeat, social person but I do get overwhelmed at times
Glad to be here! I think the worse thing is to give up trying. As long as I'm tyring than I'm moving forward.
Take Care,
135
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Old 09-21-2007, 12:07 PM   #2  
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Boy can I ever relate.Although today I am different I say no when I have to and yes when I want to .I used to be weak but now I find time for me.Is your DH supportive of you losing weight,will he stay with the children so you and the dog can get out and walk maybe in the evening.You have only been practicing so now is the time to go for it.Feel free to PM me we can do this together.Keep your chin up you can do this.
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Old 09-21-2007, 02:21 PM   #3  
Me at 160
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 22

S/C/G: 195/193/135

Height: 5'5''

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Thank you losinitin07 for the warm welcome.
I don't know how to pm you but yes dh is very supportive.
135
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Old 09-22-2007, 07:53 AM   #4  
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I sent a PM should be of help on how to PM if you get stuck let me know.
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