Hi -

Two weeks ago a really icky thing happened. I live in La Jolla, California, a small burg in San Diego. Trust me, it's all about being in great shape here. And I was, until I hit my late 40's. Anyhow, my husband, who is retired from Michigan but still working and I moved near the beach into this lovely apartment. The apartment has a lot of young people and I truly enjoyed being around them and having pot lucks, etc. They're vibrant and being near the water is just wonderful for me.

However, one night I couldn't sleep and my window looks right out onto the patio. In short, what I heard, from two of the young women and a man or two: "Wouldn't surprise me if he's not fooling around on her. To be that overweight is disgusting! And did you hear she wanted chocolate cupcakes tonight?" (Keep in mind, my husband is overweight himself from recent steroid cancer treatment (won't go on about that).

My weight is 157 pounds. I am 5'4". Most of my life I've been in the mid-130 range, so this is new to me and I KNOW I need to lose weight and get in better shape.

My first reaction was to cry like a baby. Then I pouted for a week or two around them and avoided them on my way to and from work. Then...I went to a dr. And the dr. said, "You need to lose weight."

Allrighty. So here I am. I started eating lighter this last Sunday. Gave away the butter, mayo, etc., and have been planning meals that are light and really delicious. Doing it the good old way of diet and exercise, which for me is walking a half an hour at work and 3 times a week throw myself into the ocean for a little bouncing around.

My goal weight is 133 pounds. This seems like a nice place to be and hope I haven't bored you all with this.

My ego took a pounding, but at least I'm not a jerk and talk like that about other people. First time in my life that I'd experienced prejudice. Oh, and I'm OLD, too. The little darlings added that. "God, to be old AND fat."

Sigh.

Thanks for listening!!!!

That's one of the reasons I truly hate Southern California. I know, the weather's nice, but you have to put up with a greater proportion of incredibly shallow, vain, self-centered, and thoughtless nitwits. (Not everyone's that way, of course... it can just seem like it sometimes.) I spent an eternity in LaJolla one month, and I couldn't wait to leave.

At any rate, welcome to your new lifestyle and to 3fc! You'll find a lot of supportive people here who *won't* call you old or fat, well, unless you ask them to.

Kim

Ah, to be young, shallow, and have no idea what life is about... WTH? Seriously??? I know you live in a place where a lot of importance is put on looks, but 24lbs doesn't not make you grossly overweight.

I'm not trying to down play the importance of losing weight (if it's what you want to do), but I think they are crazy. I think losing weight for yourself and your health is a fabulous idea! Do it for you and who cares what they think!

Oh and don't get me started on the fooling around comment! Apparently they've never experienced real love or they'd know that your husband wouldn't do that just because of a bit of weight gain. Especially when he has gained himself. Can we say, double standard!

BTW, according to my doctor, old is when you reach an age past life expectacy. So you're not there yet.

Cheer up and ignore those very misguided people. Hopefully one day they grow up and realize that the exterior is not what it's all about!

Thank you so much for checking in and being supportive. I love La Jolla and there are a lot of really neat people there. What I truly need is to meet some folks my own age, who also live next door. It's a tough town for the non-perfect, at times, though. Really. The flip-side is that there a million opportunities to keep fit.

I WILL keep in mind that youth has its ignorance and time levels everything. Age, however, does have its privilege - even though some of today's whipper snappers need a wedgie or two.

The bottom line for me is that I understand the importance of kindness and counting my blessings. My husband for one. He just shrugged it off and said he thought I was lovely just the way I am. But, he just loves the fact that when I hit my late 40s I finally got breasts!

After a long, hard look in the mirror I decided that, yes, I need to do this for me. Makin' lemonade; always makin' lemonade.

Thanks again!

Awww. What a sweetie you have!

I also live in The Land of the Skinny Minies, but fortunately I cannot understand most of what they say, so if they *are* talking about me, I don't know it!

Sounds like you're on the right track - eating healthily and getting exercise. Your body will respond beautifully!

Kara

OK - that just ticks me off for you!!! I wouls have pouted too! You are NOT old - OR FAT!!! But you are doing the right thing in eating right and exercising. Don't let them get you down - they will be wishing they looked that good when they are a little older!

Idiots, idiots. You're better than that!

emily
xxx

That is just rude of them. Plain and simple. You are not overweight and not old by an stretch of the imagination. That sweet that your husband said that. Having someone there to support you when you are trying to lose weight makes all the difference in the world and it seems like you have that in him. Forget those people. You are beautiful!

Ok, I've found the right place. Lots of positive thinkers. Boy, do I need that. I gave my husband a big hug last night "just 'cause". He even bought a ton of broccoli to help me out w/dinner. No potatoes last night!

What beautiful people you are. It's all about how a person feels about themselves, obviously. Hitting 50 hit hard for me and I'm adjusting as best I can. My mother, who turns 90 next December, just keeps singing in the chorus and gives me her advice, "Outlive the basta*rds!".

Now I have a question. How do I make the pretty weight scale/goal thingy that you guys have????

AND, can I still have a few cocktails a week and, if so, what brand/sort, or should I throw that out for good? It's a little ritual with my husband and me. We make dinner together and have a couple of glasses of wine 4 times a week.

Thanks again. Seriously. The kindness brought tears to my eyes here at work. Gotta run to a meeting. Hugs to you all!

Click on the link above anyone's tracker and it will take you to the place to make them. Then copy the link it gives you and paste it in your signature, which you can get to from the "User CP" link at the top left of your screen. Then click on "Save Signature" and it will show up with every post you make.

Hope that helps!

Kara

just have to remember, they too will age! And with all that sun, probably not so gracefully! There is justice in this world. In the mean time, lose the weight for yourself and your health. Show those young, bad manered "kids" that us "older" ladies have still got it!

Wow. Just wow. I thought people were only that vain in children's fables, where some sort of age-old moral rises up to bite them in the tushy at the end. And it sounds like you are a sweet and pleasant woman, which (in my mind) makes it even worse.

I hope you're not too stressed about your weight, you don't have far to go at all! And hopefully you'll enjoy the journey. Fitness is more fun than I realized!

As for alcohol, I think you would be alright having a few with your husband, but you might consider cutting back a little. Maybe just two nights a week instead of four? Alcohol is very empty calories, and while you can definitely make room for a few on almost any "diet plan," too many will leave you hungry and unsatisfied (because they're replacing food in your "budget"). If you're hungry, you might be tempted to eat more than you should, etc.

It's your life, though, and it's your right to make room for the things you truly enjoy - even things like chocolate cupcakes or a few alcoholic drinks. Good luck!