ADDICTION & STRESS

Let’s face it – most of us who find ourselves in a serious weight mess have some sort of addiction, usually to food. It is a reward, a comfort, whatever… but it’s something we develop dependence on, particularly when we face certain triggers. I call myself an emotional eater, since the events in my life that led to my initial weight gain were sudden, family medical emergencies that required my older sister and me to drop everything and take on life and death, months of recovery, and the great unknown of outcomes. When that happens, you just have to do – you can’t wallow or grieve, really – and over what added up to years, we both went on anti-depressants and packed on the pounds. So yes, that was the how we got to be what my nephew used to call “heavy duty girls”.

On top of that, I know that I have addictive tendencies. When I was running marathons, I got addicted to that. I don’t always manage stress well – an indicator. Periods of depression, compulsive shopping, general anxiety, computer use (including this forum) – more indicators. I sound like a complete basket case, but these are just tendencies, and I think it’s smart to recognize that they exist, since they are generally triggered by stress. I could be wrong, but I actually think I’m pretty normal.

Anyway, that’s one reason why I plan to hit and run this weekend… it would be too easy to get pulled into the drama of the forum! When I was on the program, I couldn’t use food as my crutch, so I got myself addicted to the weight loss and the forum. At the time, it really worked out perfectly for me, because I was so motivated to see the numbers on the scale go down. But we did have drama, and while it was relevant to me then, I have plenty in my own life right now.

So keeping these tendencies in mind, I am in the process of implementing a new routine for my life, which I am only able to do because I am independent and I have made some decisions that are going to change my modus operandi anyway. Once that happened, I began to change my perspective, and have consequently been able to let go of some lingering anger and resentment that have had negative effects on my health, both physical and mental. (I know I am being oblique here… sorry.)

At any rate, I have initiated steps to manage the critical stress component of my weight gain equation. A key to this is my addictive tendencies, which I have sometimes been able to shift from one “addiction” to another, as described above. Back in my earlier days, I was a practitioner of Transcendental Meditation (TM). My sisters and mother were, as well. This was not some sort of hippy/flower child sort of move – even then it was a more of a stress and health issue. (My mom had been widowed with 4 kids when she was 38, and it was a rough road for her at times.) I was the closest thing the family had to a hippy, but if TM was in any way about a search for enlightenment then, it’s now about a search for low blood pressure and less fatigue. I pulled the old switcheroo during my long Metro commute last week, giving up some Candy Crush addiction time for the new meditating addiction. Boy, did that make a difference!

My sister and I are also planning to do another half marathon next January, in a show of solidarity with our brother, who is coming down the home stretch to 50 lifetime full marathons – including one next January. These will be at WDW, as was once our tradition. So you don’t go thinking we are some sort of fitness family, you can see the pre and post diet photos of my sister and me on my public profile (I’m the taller one). And suffice it to say that over the years, my brother’s running routine has consisted largely of “hash clubs,” which are social organizations dedicated to running and drinking beer. The Tokyo Marathon just put him at 45, where he barely beat out the “sweeper bus.” Nevertheless, I have dusted off my “EZ half marathon training plan” and will put that into motion when the weather gets more jogging-friendly.

I have been trying to conjure up the times I’ve been happiest over recent years, and get them back into my life. I was happy being in marathon shape. Having lost the weight also made me happy. Writing was another, though I dropped that when my sister got sick, and it’s been hard to get it back. I do quite a bit of writing at work, but not the creative, imaginative story-telling kind. At one point I was juggling 3 novels, taking fiction classes, etc. I was in the middle of one when I dropped everything and raced to Alaska having learned that my sister was in the ICU as Amy Doe. My instructor, a novelist, told me I needed to write about it when I could, but I still haven’t been able to. Oddly, this little writing exercise on the forum has started to get me back in the groove, so it’s actually done more for me than I ever expected.

I don’t know if all of this will work, but I think I can make it happen, and there is no better time than now to do it. I need more happiness in my life, and I’ve only been getting in my own way. So as you get off the diet, I think it’s important to face and deal with the triggers in your life. Do what you can to be happy inside. You’ll already be happy when you reach your goal, but be prepared for what life will throw at you as time goes by. Find things besides food that bring you happiness and comfort. The problem is that it’s so easy to open the fridge and get instant gratification. Establishing other routines before the stress hits will make it easier to choose an alternative when you really need it.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

I think I have one last post in me for later today. One part is about the forum, and the other is some useful information about the products I now use during my reboots, since another thing about multiple reboots is that they can get pricey!

Links to this and other "Life After..." threads have been added to the sticky.

Novak, you're a very, very good writer. Your pacing and phrasing are fantastic. I hope that you do manage to make writing a regular part of your life! :)

I'm nowhere near maintenance, yet, but it's something I stress about. Your posts have been helpful to me. Thank you!

Hi Novak, I found your Life After Phase 1 very helpful when I was transitioning to the other Phases. I read both your thread and Maintainers. Even tried to start your thread subject up again last June, because there did not seem to be any threads that specifically address this period of the IP journey. And... this can be a nerve wracking time.

I have really enjoyed reading about your journey and the realities of long term maintenance. Thank you for sharing and adding another chapter. :)

Thank you, I appreciate that. And I hope so, too!

Awesome! Thanks Lisa!

ALTERNATIVE PRODUCTS

There were not a lot of options around 5 years ago, but I see folks have posted about quite a few alternative products. In the interest of “not biting the hand” as they say, please note that I was 100% IP all the way the first time I did the program. That said, I switched to New Lifestyle (primarily for the ready-to-drink shakes) pretty quickly, and kept a stash in my “shake cellar” for when I needed fast protein during both maintenance and reboots.

I eventually went over to Nashua Nutrition when it became obvious that I needed a wider variety of products for longer reboots. Nashua is just south of where my sister lives in New Hampshire – she’s actually been to the store. We like to support local businesses, and the prices are much more reasonable than virtually anywhere else I’ve looked.

I now buy EAS low-carb shakes, as I mentioned in a previous post. To be honest, the IP/New Lifestyle shakes are tastier, but seriously, it’s a diet shake. It will be gone in no time. It’s not like picking out wine for a dinner party. Do I want to pay $18 bucks with a coupon for a case of 24, or $30 bucks for a six-pack? I do BJ’s for the cases, Target on sale when I feel like a flavor variety. I still have a 6-pack of IP/New Lifestyle shakes in my cupboard. I’ll break it out for a special occasion.

Walden Farms stuff doesn’t do much for me these days, so I usually accept a little fat in the interest of a better tasting salad dressing with something like Marzetti Light Caesar Vinaigrette. During the program, I occasionally used Go Veggie! Soy cheese, and it’s a staple now during reboots. As a non-meat eater, I also use tofu and soy veggie burgers to supplement fish as a protein source. I always go for the lowest carb count, as they are not all created equal. I am no longer as “tweak averse” as I was the first time around, which I’m sure contributes to the slower loss rate, but that’s where I am right now.

NOTES ON THE FORUM

I could not have succeeded on this diet if not for the forum. I am an information junkie, and I needed a place to get my fix. That said, it is also a place many go to for other reasons: inspiration, friendship, forgiveness… any number of things. I understand this, but I would like to offer a few caveats.

From my Yoda side, I advise you to consider the credibility of the sources you encounter here. If someone follows the program and has the results to back it up, their posts might be more helpful to your success than someone who constantly slips or cheats but is always ready to forgive others for falling off the wagon. Weight loss is always a tough road, but this particular program is not forgiving: the chemistry must be maintained to achieve the greatest success. Make whatever choices you wish in following the protocol, but don’t expect the promised results if you decide to “void the warranty.”

Another point: unlike in the early days, there is a great deal of information on the site. I know it can sometimes be hard to find answers to your questions, but I’m one of those people who thinks you should at least try. I believe weight loss success is difficult. It is largely mental, and it’s something you can only do yourself… no one can do it for you. Like Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz,” you don’t just get to put on the ruby slippers and go home. There’s a lot more to learn than that if you want to make the lessons stick for life. And we all need that longevity, or IP will be like any other diet.

I (and others) attempted to build a knowledge base everyone could use—even those quietly lurking. I tried to post information and inspiration in a thoughtful way, which was often quite time-consuming. Others did the same, and our approach was to point people in the right direction to find those posts rather than try to replicate them over and over. I know that others have different views on how a forum should operate, and that’s okay. But I will say that there are many gems out there for those who make the effort to seek them out.

If you are here to get warm fuzzies, there are plenty available. And some very inspiring stories. Take advantage of whatever gets you through. But I would also caution people to recognize that the forum can be addictive on both sides: those who ask the questions, and those who answer. It was that way for me. This can be quite useful during the course of the diet, but at a certain point, I believe it is important to move on. Like the addictions that landed most of us in the position of having to diet in the first place, hanging on too long also has a downside.

If you’ve completed the diet, you’ve got a brand new body, and hopefully a whole new view of yourself. You need to develop and enjoy the new you. Not that you can’t share your success and offer inspiration to others still on the protocol, but don’t do it at the expense of getting the big hug that life has to offer the person you have now become. If you’ve felt uncomfortable in the world before, you don’t have to feel that way anymore. You can always check in on the forum from time to time, but you don’t need to live here.

I have stopped by now in hopes that some of my experience over the past five years might be helpful to those of you still in the process. In truth, IP certainly changed—if not saved—my life. It is gratifying to see so many on the journey now. I see many numbers far more impressive than mine, and I think that is awesome.

EPILOGUE

We’ve now reached the end of my post-a-thon. I think I’ve said everything I felt a need to say. I will probably poke my head in a few times this week, in case any questions appear, or comments that beg a reply. I wish you all the best of luck, and I thank you for welcoming me back.

Novak,

A big, heartfelt THANK YOU for sharing so much of your time and your self in your amazing posts. Your words have given me a strange mix of feelings - motivating as well as comforting at the same time! They have somehow instilled a sense of calm and hope in me, in regard to my weight loss journey, that I don't know that I have ever felt before......and not just my IP journey, but in the weight loss struggle and journey I've been on for countless years. What a gift you have....and have given! I hope I can develop even a bit of the self-insight that you have, and I will try to pay it forward as well! Best of luck to you, wherever life takes you! :hug:

I could not have received a lovelier compliment. I'm happy to share my motto, though I truly admire the sentiment of your "Just Do It, Mom!" That says a great deal. May your journey bring you the success you deserve this time around.

Novak

This was a fantastic read! I just started a week ago, so much if this won't he cessation pertain to me for another year, but thank you! I have printed these out to reference when I need them.

Thanks so much for these posts, Novak. They are really very thoughtful and inspiring. It's very comforting to hear some of my own experiences echoed in your words.

Novak - Having you pop onto the forum at this time has been terrific - I think that when Ro22 found post #27 in Life After P1, and so many of us began zeroing in on and discussing your postings , it must have created a vibration in the universe that drew you back here -- thank you so much for spending the time to share with us.

Your comments re: Addictions really have me thinking - addictions including the computer time on this forum (not to mention the food diary on MFP, daily weigh in's, and for some of us, creating and updating our own charts and graphs) - all of that perspective is very real for me. And, as a 35-year Fed, I have been going thru some heavy duty daily stresses too -- the very 'inside your head' variety that you describe. I find it amazing when I stop to think about how I managed to use obsessing with my weight loss as a distraction from how miserable I was on the job that I had to face every day.

My real, highly successful stress reliever is taking ballroom and dance classes and going to social dances to practice regularly. I am on the dance floor less than 2 minutes, and my upsets and stresses of the workday are gone. I get that feeling of 'live, laugh and dance like no one is watching' and I am so glad that I am finding time to continue to learn and practice. I am surrounded by people it love it as much as I do, I get some exercise that does not feel like exercise, and I have an excuse to dress for a party now and then. At some point, when I can find time and money for more lessons, I'll go back into some competition, just to have some goals and objectives to work toward.

I began dance lessons at the age of 54 to get ready for my husband's grandson's wedding, but I wish I had started it back in my 30's - it might have served as a healthier, more positive addiction than the sugar addiction that took over my life from college until last summer when I discovered Ideal Protein.

All this to say - I think that all people find areas of interest that they find valuable enough to commit their time and attention to, to the point that those areas of interest become addictions. It could be a wide range of hobbies, including dancing or marathons or jewelry-making, or volunteering (like Sgrealtor2's time spent with her son at the local animal shelter), or it could be self medicating activities like binging on sugar or alcohol, or smoking, or escaping from stress thru Candy Crush or Spider Solitaire or taking the couch potato position in front of the TV or Facebook on the computer.

I guess I am all for finding and adopting some addictions that create positive and good things in my life, and enable me to be a more positive and constructive hunk of flesh hanging on this planet... especially those that contribute something good to my weight loss maintenance journey!

This has been an amazing thread to read. Novak, I haven't crossed paths with you before, but I am blown away by your insights and dedication. I agree that the moderators would do well to sticky this thread.

Anyone who loves wine, cheese and baguettes is okay by me!

Thanks for your kind words. It makes the investment of my time worth it, even if it means the Internal Revenue Service has to wait a little longer for my money.

Yes! I felt a disturbance in the Force that told me to come to the forum rather than work on my taxes.

I think your dancing is a great release. And it's just as easy to dance around the kitchen as it is to raid the refrigerator! As a fellow Fed, I would say the other thing you need to tackle is any negative "baggage" inside your head. With 35 years in, you must have a retirement lurking in the not TOO distant future. Start thinking about that as a beginning to be excited about, and forget about regrets, anything that may not have gone your way, or anyone who "did you wrong." If you can let go of that and focus on where you want to take your dancing or anything else you want to do with the rest of your life, you can shift your perspective and lighten your emotional load.

And yes, when the weather gets better, we'll need to do that walk on the Mall.

Novak -- I for one am grateful that you reappeared with this update thread just as I am in my IP and 3FC addiction phase :)

A couple of nitty gritty questions:

I can see the wine & cheese returning to my life in maintenance quite frequently, and I know you found the same. I'm much less worried about the pizza and sugary stuff. Any tips on keeping those habits in check? And any weight-impact patterns you may have noticed from them?

Also, if you have time to expand on your approach to "Fun Days," I'd be curious to hear how you managed with your weekends-after-3pm guideline, specifically, what rules you may have put into place for yourself and, if applicable, your protein-carbs-fat macros, etc.

I realize everyone's experience is unique and I'll be tracking and weighing and monitoring myself, etc., hoping to keep things in check . . . but it sure is inspirational, super-informative and engaging to read your story. Thank you again.

Novak - thank you so much, not only for posting so thoughtfully when you were active on the protocol, but for coming back with an update! While everyone's journey is different, hearing how you've managed to live your life and maintain - it brings a "real-ness" to the program in a new way. I'm not sure that makes sense (other than in my head), but what I mean is that, at least for me, although I say I'm never going back to where I've been, there's some part of me that's wondered if it's really possible to have long-term success. You've given us a realistic picture, and shown that it is possible.

Yup -- I am eligible to retire and will as soon as I offload some real estate. Meanwhile, I am looking for another assignment where I can make a contribution. I have a good rep in general, a lot of institutional knowledge, can write, and have been a good soldier throughout my career. I am not letting office stuff drag me down -- instead I am considering what I want to do next. Maybe I will go back to school and become a legit nutritionist - I'd love to coach others looking to manage their eating. No matter what - I plan to keep my hand in something that sparks my passions.

Looking forward to meeting up sometime this Spring - and lemme know if you decide you wanna go dancing! :dancer:

If you have not done so, please read the original Life After Phase 1 thread that I started in 2010 and maintained for a time with a few key others. I was pretty sure you'd find the info you seek, but I hadn't read it since I posted there back in the day. SO... I just went for a trip down memory lane and read through the whole thing. I found it to be helpful and informative, particularly in my current circumstance as I try to recapture my early maintenance successes (not to mention that it also has some pretty good comic material). I think you'll find what you need there.

For me, it was also fun to read the banter with my dear friend and partner in crime, Wannabe. Sorry for those of you who had to wade through all of our silliness, but it was pretty lonely on that thread at the time, and we were trying hard to keep it active. It's so much easier, now that it's a sticky!

Walking yes, dancing no. :D

Oh, I definitely have read your original thread …had just finished that and the sequel when you popped up here! So much helpful info there (and the banter kept it amusing). Just wondered whether you had any new reflections on those issues or things you decided to do differently in years 2-5 that contributed to your success in maintenance. Am going through all the Maintainers threads now and it's comforting to see the different approaches people have taken. Thanks again for all the time you've put into sharing your story with us.

It worked great while I followed it, but I eventually caved in to stress. That's why I am planning to go back and reboot my maintenance approach when I finish the Phase 1 & 3. This time I am addressing stress management as well, which I lost my grip on a couple of years ago. Years 1 and 2 were definitely where I want to be now as far as eating pattern, and it would not change from what I posted in the old thread, which many of us said we all seemed to be converging toward. It worked great, and I'm glad I just reminded myself of that by reading through it as a complete thread. (Besides making myself laugh at Wannabe and me... talk about the Odd Couple! What a hoot -- she cracked me up.)

Having just read through the thread, I have to admit we were characters, all right. Especially Wannabee, who was sausage and eggs until she slimmed to a salad plate for a time. I hope the return of the breakfast plate doesn't mean she gained the weight back... :?: