Schenectady
It takes a lot of fortitude to come here and talk like you did without excuses, without glorifying the food "you just had to have" and just flat-out calling it like it is. That, my dear, is no-nonsense.
Staying clean feels good. Even the time I've spent off P1 has been relatively clean. Whenever other stuff makes it back in (through my own choice, not through being out-of-control), my hands & feet swell up, my gut bothers me, I get lethargic and achey. Those symptoms are how I lived pre-IP. That is NOT the direction I am heading. - anyway, I digress. Staying clean feels good and "not" doesn't feel good.
So, we keep doing more and more of what feels good. Some of us are quick forgetters (not slow learners
) or we get the "I don't give a 4@^#" attitude.
Either way, pull out your Beck Diet book recording (I have the audio book on my phone) and listen, listen, listen! She'll get your head in the right place in no time.
For many of us, it isn't about just losing 20 lbs or so. If, like me, you've been morbidly obese, it is such a major lifestyle change and shift in thinking and behavior that to expect perfection...well, it's not gonna happen. Many folks are able to stick 100% to P1 but then mantainance becomes the struggle. Not that it can't be done, but it sure takes thought, decisions, planning, and re-training the self. So wherever your struggle is, it'll happen. You are SO NOT ALONE!
I'm down to the last 20-ish (+/-) but I'm not an IP person with 20 lbs to lose. I'm an IP person who was morbidly obese who has the LAST 20-or so to go. I could have given up when I plateaued but I know I'd no longer be a "formerly" obese person...I'd head straight back there. I had to keep up the struggle. I had to learn to maintain because I've never done it before. I've been here & watched people come in AND get to goal while I've still been plateaued. Much of it was self-imposed as I gave my thyroid and metabolism a break. Some days it has been hard to watch people having their successes. But you know what? I feel SO VERY successful because I'm going into spring and the same clothes I put away late last Fall still fit me! I used to have to buy new clothes every season
Okay this got long. I hope it sounded supportive.
I KNOW you can do it.
So much of our ability to have success or failure lies right in our own doggone heads. Changing my mind has been as huge for me as changing my body (and my wardrobe!)
But, little, by little, we improve.