Exactly Ems! I wonder the same thing when people constantly call attention to how I look. I don't like the limelight and if someone wants to say something nice they can, but let's not turn the whole conversation into how fabulous I look now as opposed to before. Makes me feel like they are carrying "before" and "after" pics of me in their head.
Same here Ruth Ann and ems.
For me it is both when people go on and on about it... And when they ask 'how much have you lost' and I say about 50 lbs... It makes me feel bad, because both things mean I was kind of gross before. I know some of it is what's in my head but I'd almost prefer no one said anything
For me it is both when people go on and on about it... And when they ask 'how much have you lost' and I say about 50 lbs... It makes me feel bad, because both things mean I was kind of gross before. I know some of it is what's in my head but I'd almost prefer no one said anything
Weight is truly a weighty issue.
Happy IP day to all!
I love "weigh is truly a weighty issue"!
When anyone is rude enough to ask how much I've lost - I just look startled and say "why on earth would you ask me that?" Usually shuts them up and we go on to other subjects. I do, however, talk to people who are truly interested in losing weight or nutrition. My building manager and I had a great conversation the other day about protein, fat and carbs and exercise after he said I looked nice. And I've had several clients ask me how I was losing and a few of them have even started IP.
I wonder if people just don't think before they talk or are they really that clueless.
Last week at a school party for my son - a woman commented that she didn't recognize me until she heard my voice. I'm getting used to that now - I hear it alot.
Another woman I didn't know joined the conversation and asked point blank how many lbs I had lost after she heard I was half the size I was last year. I said I've lost half my body weight, quite a bit. She said: But exactly how many pounds did you loose?
I was floored that she could be so rude and I just said again: I'm literally half the size I was last year: let's leave it at that.
I was horrified that she was so pushy about it and kept asking.
I think shows like Biggest Loser and all the articles that will be out in the January magazines have conditioned people to ask how much weight a person has lost.
I don't mind it that much because I have worked hard on this. When a person works hard on something it is nice to be noticed.
I wonder if people just don't think before they talk or are they really that clueless.
Last week at a school party for my son - a woman commented that she didn't recognize me until she heard my voice. I'm getting used to that now - I hear it alot.
Another woman I didn't know joined the conversation and asked point blank how many lbs I had lost after she heard I was half the size I was last year. I said I've lost half my body weight, quite a bit. She said: But exactly how many pounds did you loose?
I was floored that she could be so rude and I just said again: I'm literally half the size I was last year: let's leave it at that.
I was horrified that she was so pushy about it and kept asking.
Some people just can't take a hint, can they? I admire your restraint!
Quote:
Originally Posted by drd1961
I think shows like Biggest Loser and all the articles that will be out in the January magazines have conditioned people to ask how much weight a person has lost.
I don't mind it that much because I have worked hard on this. When a person works hard on something it is nice to be noticed.
You may be right on that. And sometimes people are just curious - they don't realize that the person who lost may be sensitive to reveal just how much they weighed to begin with.
Dh bought me a new robe for Christmas and was really nervous about if it would fit - he got a medium, but said he is all confused about what size I am in clothing. He was so relieved when it fit just fine. I was thrilled - I haven't been a medium in anything in so long!
I told my husband my size was small now. However, you know how women's sizes are. He bought me a fleece to wear at the office(because it is freezing) and he got a very nice fleece, that is extremely form fitting made to wear over light layers for outdoor exercise. It zips but is very tight and will not be suitable for the office. So, I have to return it and look for something more suitable for wearing over sweaters. It is so hard to give someone a size because it is different everywhere.
I'm irritated this morning (hard to believe, I know ). Why do people feel the need to tell me I'm losing weight wrong? I am almost to the point of saying "what weight? I haven't lost any weight - have you had your eyesight checked lately?" I usually just say thanks for the input and my doctor is very happy with what I'm doing and leave it at that.
Ruth Ann, I was just talking about this over Christmas. A friend who is a Public Health nurse was very discouraging of IP...saying how unbalanced it is and that it is a diet of exclusion. Yet at the same time she was recommending bariatric surgery to me! When I'd ask, 'but what about the risks that go with surgery?' She wouldn't say much.
I like your response. It's polite and confident.
Funny thing ... As I get older, I am beginning to wonder about the people who are so busy focusing on my 'inventory' --- what inventory of their own are they avoiding?!
I wonder if people just don't think before they talk or are they really that clueless.
Last week at a school party for my son - a woman commented that she didn't recognize me until she heard my voice. I'm getting used to that now - I hear it alot.
Another woman I didn't know joined the conversation and asked point blank how many lbs I had lost after she heard I was half the size I was last year. I said I've lost half my body weight, quite a bit. She said: But exactly how many pounds did you loose?
I was floored that she could be so rude and I just said again: I'm literally half the size I was last year: let's leave it at that.
I was horrified that she was so pushy about it and kept asking.
Hi- all I haven't been around much lately...but have tried to spot read a few posts a day until the travel and other things in my life that have kept me off line a lot settle down...hoping after the 1st to be back more!
Anyway..This one is near and dear to my heart and I recognize and identify with many who have been made to squirm a bit these last few weeks.
This is a personal area. Very much so. Some are, and have said they are OK with this discussion and fine with answering openly.
It appears from my year on the forum, most of us are uncomfortable with this level of detail, esp to people who have no need (right) to know ....except they are NOSEY! And most likely gossipy too, and it gives them a topic for discussion when you are not around...REALLY AWFUL!!
It is OK to evade this question. This whole thing belongs to you. It is NOT in the public domaine. Neither is how or what you are doing in detail something you are obligated to talk about. Some people need a more blunt smack in the ears tho' and a good pat answer that you can pop off to anyone who asks is the best defense. Mine was to look the person squarely in the eyes...and look horrified...and then with a weak smile..say.." You know that question makes me REALLY uncomfortable, and I've made the decision not to share that information with anyone..(or only my Dr...etc)" Read.."shame on you for asking."
"Thanks for noticing tho' ...." is always a nice segue into something else. Weather, Sports, sale at the mall...new book you just read or want to buy.......
READ AGAIN..."SO DONE talking about this ..with YOU!"
After a while the blunt nosey questions will stop. It is something you own all the rights to control. Answer...share...and the talk goes on and on...or end it "politely"...and start living your life as the new you.
You probably don't need to be on a public stage once that starts...so be careful, and know what ever you do choose to share will be out there while you are still working to figure this last bit out.
This part of who you are is not over for a long time..if ever. Chose your companions wisely.
Best wishes in the new year to all who have done so well these last months, and enjoy the wonderful things that await as you reach your goal and figure out maintenance.
65 so nice to 'see' you. Hope you're having a nice holiday. Thanks as always for the advice. It really IS so personal.
I wish people weren't so nosey but they sometimes are. I have a really inappropriate boss too. He thinks nothing of talking about my weight loss at work when I've neither invited it or confided in him. He also mentioned, in my initial phone interview, that he doesn't like overweight people. (Yes, really) I should have known... For the holidays, he gave me an amazon gift card with a picture of workout clothes. (Yes, really)
Ah well, as you say, we can control how we react to it. I don't need to let it get to me.
Ruth Ann, I was just talking about this over Christmas. A friend who is a Public Health nurse was very discouraging of IP...saying how unbalanced it is and that it is a diet of exclusion. Yet at the same time she was recommending bariatric surgery to me! When I'd ask, 'but what about the risks that go with surgery?' She wouldn't say much.
I like your response. It's polite and confident.
Funny thing ... As I get older, I am beginning to wonder about the people who are so busy focusing on my 'inventory' --- what inventory of their own are they avoiding?!
My answers really do vary depending on who is asking and how well I know them, etc., etc. and how they ask.
You're right - have to wonder about people who focus so much on what others are doing. I have enough to worry about in my own life without snooping into other people's!
I wish people weren't so nosey but they sometimes are. I have a really inappropriate boss too. He thinks nothing of talking about my weight loss at work when I've neither invited it or confided in him. He also mentioned, in my initial phone interview, that he doesn't like overweight people. (Yes, really) I should have known... For the holidays, he gave me an amazon gift card with a picture of workout clothes. (Yes, really)
Wow! Talk about a boss with no boundaries!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning just starving - something that hasn't happened to me in a long time. So I got up and had coffee and lemon wafers - felt somewhat decadent enjoying my coffee and wafers early in the morning while the rest of the house slept. Really enjoyed it. Not planning on making it a habit, but it was a rare indulgence that made me feel good.
Ruth Ann, I definitely go in phases with hunger. Most of the time, I am fine. But some weeks, I cycle into more hunger. I stay up late during vacation, so at 3:00 am, I have contemplated my wafer cookies too I have not done it, because I like my sweet treat with coffee when I get up.
I am drinking more coffee over this holiday. Coffee seems like a better choice than eating at all the holiday events, plus I am freezing all the time. Then- I have to drink more water. Soon all of these social events will be over and it will be quiet time. Connecticut seems to go into a winter sleep socially until March and I am ready for it!
Hi- all I haven't been around much lately...but have tried to spot read a few posts a day until the travel and other things in my life that have kept me off line a lot settle down...hoping after the 1st to be back more!
Anyway..This one is near and dear to my heart and I recognize and identify with many who have been made to squirm a bit these last few weeks.
This is a personal area. Very much so. Some are, and have said they are OK with this discussion and fine with answering openly.
It appears from my year on the forum, most of us are uncomfortable with this level of detail, esp to people who have no need (right) to know ....except they are NOSEY! And most likely gossipy too, and it gives them a topic for discussion when you are not around...REALLY AWFUL!!
It is OK to evade this question. This whole thing belongs to you. It is NOT in the public domaine. Neither is how or what you are doing in detail something you are obligated to talk about. Some people need a more blunt smack in the ears tho' and a good pat answer that you can pop off to anyone who asks is the best defense. Mine was to look the person squarely in the eyes...and look horrified...and then with a weak smile..say.." You know that question makes me REALLY uncomfortable, and I've made the decision not to share that information with anyone..(or only my Dr...etc)" Read.."shame on you for asking."
"Thanks for noticing tho' ...." is always a nice segue into something else. Weather, Sports, sale at the mall...new book you just read or want to buy.......
READ AGAIN..."SO DONE talking about this ..with YOU!"
After a while the blunt nosey questions will stop. It is something you own all the rights to control. Answer...share...and the talk goes on and on...or end it "politely"...and start living your life as the new you.
You probably don't need to be on a public stage once that starts...so be careful, and know what ever you do choose to share will be out there while you are still working to figure this last bit out.
This part of who you are is not over for a long time..if ever. Chose your companions wisely.
Best wishes in the new year to all who have done so well these last months, and enjoy the wonderful things that await as you reach your goal and figure out maintenance.
I love the wisdom of your advice and completely agree. I know that I will be joining with my family later in the new year and their are bound to be questions or comments when I show up looking smaller. I think I will practice some of your responses so they just roll off the tongue. If I reach goal by then, I am hardly going to want to say "I lost 120 pounds"! What I was and what I will be are no one's business but my own. Even my DH has not a clue.
). Why do people feel the need to tell me I'm losing weight wrong? I am almost to the point of saying "what weight? I haven't lost any weight - have you had your eyesight checked lately?" I usually just say thanks for the input and my doctor is very happy with what I'm doing and leave it at that.
