Originally Posted by JohnP:
I'm not your family but I do recall you posting a thread about how you couldn't stop cheating on weekends.

My point is - maybe it's not your weight they're concerned about but your mental state. Are you talking about your diet and/or weight loss all the time?

Whenever I hear feedback I don't agree with I always try to look at things from the other person's perspective to see if I can understand where they're coming from.

Surely you're not anywhere close to dangerously thin but maybe your size isn't what they're concerned about?

I would have to disagree with you on this one...

I don't always talk about my weight loss. However, I am probably the smallest person in my family now; additionally, my diet has slightly become a "joy-kill" because I cannot completely engage in certain family activities because they heavily involve food.

Being of African heritage, it is not the norm or even considered "attractive" to be slender. Unlike Western society, being "heavy" is the norm. It signifies wealth, social class, and good health. So you can imagine, I will experience quite some backlash for being the size I currently am.

If we've been above our desired weight for awhile, then spent time in dieting to take off the pounds, when we "resettle" we probably are going to look different from both our initial thin self and our heavier self. I know that when I reach my goal I won't look like I did when I was in my 20s and 30s. So this is one adjustment to make.

The other is probably your family feeling awkward. Try to be understanding and kind but firm with them. It's hard when others make us self-conscious not realizing how much time we've suffered with that already. :( We have to develop a Teflon attitude about some of the comments we're going to receive when we make changes. Can you tell I'm gearing up for the same thing LOL even though a ways from having to deal with it yet . . . ;) But I'm being proactive as I wasn't in the past when I let others' opinions have too much sway.

EllyElle, you look great and I think cultural expectations come into play - I come from Germans on my dad's side of the family and they also have the fat = healthy/skinny = unhealthy thing going on! :p It's generational conditioning from times when poverty and starvation were realities in many people's lives and I guess difficult to shake even though we now live with an abundance of food . . .

You look awesome! I don't think you look to thin, I think you look very healthy :)

Your family is just used to the old you. I have had some friends who have lost a lot of weight, and it does take some getting used to at first. But I think gradually they will get used to seeing you at your new weight, and see that you are much healthier at this weight than you were before

I usually tell family that my clothes do a great job of hiding the problem areas, but I'm still working on those last few pockets of fat. If they keep pushing it, I start grabbing the bits of flab left on my arms and belly and say I'm still trying to get rid of this. They usually leave me alone then.

Well, I think you look smokin', and they seem to be possibly threatened by your transformation? As though your choice to pursue health shines a light on their behaviors? Not sure, but I'm sorry they would feel the need to "intervention" when there should be a celebration! :)

Yeah, from your profile pic, you are definitely not too thin at this point, and not entering Karen Carpenter (RIP) territory any time soon. I'm not saying that because you can lose more, but because you look healthy and normal or even "fit". All of the things we all want to be for our esteem, health, and happiness.

All of the things people have said here are true. You have gone through one of those amazing transformations!

Congratulations and listen to your coach/doctor. People will get used to the new you and will accept you (if they can contain their jealousy! :) )

People at work say things every once in awhile. I figure they are used to seeing me so big (and I am swimming in most of my scrubs), it's a shock. I let it roll off my back.

I have the same problem. You look fantastic!

Too thin
 

Originally Posted by EllyElle:
Imy family had a mini-intervention with me to tell me that I am too thin.

I was in the same boat with my family, when after months of hard work I had finally met my goal. I came back from school, and after remarking how thin I had gotten and how concerned they were, my family made sure that all my favorite foods were everywhere suddenly. I am 154 now, and I need to get back to where I used to be. Now certain family members say that I'm too heavy!! You just can't win with some people.

I will tell you, do what makes you happy and listen to what your body tells you. Also understand that you might carry your weight differently than me, or any other person who is 154 lbs. Losing weight might make you look even better than you do already, or it might make you look scary-thin. It really does depend on your body type.

Stay positive!

I'm having the same reaction from my family, but mostly from the people I work with. I travel a lot for work, so its usually a month in between seeing people and as we all know, a month on IP can do wonders! EVERYONE is telling me that I'm too thin and that I need to stop now. But I refuse to stop before I get to my goal (which is 130, I'm too close to stop now). I don't dare tell people my body is not where I'd like it to be yet and could probably manage to lose a few more, but that will definitly get the wrong reaction. So I just take it with a grain of salt and go about my business.

You look wonderful, keep on doin' what you're doin'!

Originally Posted by EllyElle:
Greeniris, it's funny you mention nobody expressed concern when I was overweight. Now it's "you're too thin, I can see your collar bone". You kind of start to second guess yourself.

I tell ya, there's a lot one has to prepare for mentally once they have lost the weight. I think it would be very beneficial to have a component in Ideal Protein that aims to prepare you for 'Life After Weight Loss"; though you can never really be 100% prepared .

If collarbones were the criteria for being too thin... I was too thin at 230 lbs! You are doing awesome! You're healthy and fit and they don't know what they're talking about ;).

Originally Posted by JohnP:
I'm not your family but I do recall you posting a thread about how you couldn't stop cheating on weekends.

My point is - maybe it's not your weight they're concerned about but your mental state. Are you talking about your diet and/or weight loss all the time?

Whenever I hear feedback I don't agree with I always try to look at things from the other person's perspective to see if I can understand where they're coming from.

Surely you're not anywhere close to dangerously thin but maybe your size isn't what they're concerned about?

That's an interesting point (which may fit me but not others). I order meals far differently than I did before at restaurants (hold the cheese, dressing, sauce, butter, bread, etc). When visiting my parents, mom is encouraging of the diet but is either loosing her memory or something. Example Mom asks if I can eat apples, I say Mom I can't eat fruit, then she asks how about a banana? then repeat this example naming different fruit about four more times in the course of the day. She knows what fruit is, but she's 83 y/o so who knows. My solution over this year is to bring enough of what I can eat for dinner for everyone and just cook for all. That way mom is pushed out of the kitchen and if she wants to add dessert or whatever sides that's terrific and everyone else can enjoy. I have seen them all go for the WF 1000 island, putting it on salmon and salad when they had their own dressing right there. Anyway my point is my eating seems for some reason to affect others in some way, which is their issue. My husband is wanting to take me out to enjoy dinner and sees me eating "diet" food - aka whole/healthy/great food. It's not our old style of celebrating with food. I do not ponder out loud what I can't have, I look for what I can. I'm pretty obsessed with sticking to P1. I try and not be obsessed talking about food with my family unless they ask me about it. It will be easier when my family sees my way of eating in maintenance as my normal way of eating. I can not go back to the quantity and daily choices I made a year ago and maintain this loss.

EllyElle you look fabulous! :hug: I realize my thoughts above don't fit for you, but they may help others.

Barb

Our stats are the same. I am 5'6 and at 154 . Someone told me yesterday that my head is starting to look big for my body. Another way of saying, you are getting too thin.

I hear you and this is my journey and it is about how I feel, which is GREAT. I am happy and satisfied and want to be this weight, or a bit smaller, for the rest of my life.

For me, it is such a contrast to how I felt at 197-200+ for many years. It is a total compliment and concern. Their concern is just that, theirs.

Enjoy collarbones, hips, clothes.....let shine. :flow2::flow2::flow2::flow2::flow2: