Social situations are tricky...esp if you don't want to share your journey with the world. I've found several "excuses" not to have to "explain" myself... Headaches...told my book group my Dr. suggested I watch out for carbs and try to eliminate as many foods as possible with higher glycemic indexes"...that is the end of the discussion. The next meeting...said..yep that is "helping"... people DO readily accept stuff like that and move on with out beating you to death with questions you're not of a mind to answer honestly. Once you start losing...the dreaded Q is...WOW..."how much have you lost?"...my answer is "10 pounds...a few times..." then when pushed by the said questioner, smile and say...gee you're making me uncomfortable..." that is a show stopper...and usually ends the discussion. Of course if you are OK with sharing...you don't have to resort to evasive tactics. I'm not comfortable sharing this journey with most people. It's just too personal.

You totally understand me!!!! Cake is my demon! But I did make it without giving in,.... I did taste the frosting from my hubby's cake (bad, I know) and it was awesome! Made me want the entire cake. I left without it and you can too!

I am glad I did not give in and all of "your voices" were in my head all evening! Big thank you!!! I am going to get some of the items you suggested for next time!!!

Can I ask why she doesn't' support you? Glad things went well at the party

If the party is at your daughters house, maybe you could make a warm chocolate cake in the microwave with the chocolate drink mix.

I echo the suggestion to take your favourite IP bar/treat with you. Personally, a black coffee served with the White Chocolate Cinnamon bar (cut into 8 pieces and arranged around a dessert plate) was at least as delicious as any piece of cake I saw on Phase 1!

She is a nurse and I have health issues (nothing major) ....not to mention I have been on a diet most of my life! She just keeps telling me to relax and enjoy life and that my "glory days" are over! I am 58...that comment cuts deep. Lol. But she does mean well.

Oh that's a tough one...however...if your physician is behind you she needs to respect that. I would suspect there is another issue here...??(hers...not yours!)

Losing weight is moving anyone who needs to do that in the right direction. Unless you have a kidney issue...? My journey on this STARTED with my daughter... who is/was a nurse with a nutrition minor...and is now a medical law attorney. I can understad your battle with the added factor of a major family member not in tune.. My husband is...let's say****well versed**** in these issues as well. Although we've been married 43+ years... I left him COMPLETELY OUT OF THE PROCESS until 3 weeks ago when he finally said ..."WOW...what ever your'e doing is REALLY working...well!"

I went to my PCP this week and had all my blood work done and it was AMAZING after just under 3 months on this... when he saw that PLUS the fact I have nothing that fits me...He's rallied a full out support campaign. When we could finally talk and be on the same page... I told him..."I left you out of this because I am fighting a war...and don't need you to be a landmine on the battlefield..." He was very quiet...but knew I was right. Now he is my biggest cheerleader.:cheer3::cheer2:

Good luck with your war...you have the best cheer-leading section ever on this forum. There are some awesome folks here with good information and ideas to help with the land mines.

My opinion - At the ago of 58 your glory days are just starting. As women we have lots of power in oor 50s, our children are grown and we have time to think of what we want our future and retirement to look like. We know that we matter and are in charge of yourself.

I will be 54 years old next week, at the age of 52 I went back to college and completed my masters in business in less then two years. At the same time I worked full time as a safety/env manager for a large company. I love my hubby and child but I know that my glory days are just beginning.

Remember, no matter when we choose to go on plan, there will always be situations where we can feel like we are "missing out" food-wise if that is where we allow our minds to take us

Instead, use it as an opportunity to do careful planning and to plan a special OP treat

We have gotten so used to having what we want, when we want it that just learning to restrict is a feat (the true giant is in our own heads).

We can get through ANY special occasion if it is our resolve to do so. If we enter it already thinking it is insurmountable, we're setting ourselves up for failure.

Some of the special days I've gotten through OP include: bbqs, several football tailgates, Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas (numerous holiday parties), New Years, a 10-day trip to FL, Mardi Gras, valentines day, my own 50th birthday, a long weekend in FL, a long weekend in MI.

My hardest days are the ones where I'm just home and more relaxed and maybe haven't made a definitive plan (or need to grocery shop!).

I would suspect it is because a grandmother at 5'5"and 150 would not appear to be very overweight.

As for avoiding the cake etc it is much less difficult of an issue after ketotis sets in. The trick is to soldier through the first week and let that work for you, Tasting cashews and icing might slow down the time it takes to get to that stage.

There are very few people that actually know that I'm on IP. I tend to be a very private person. It's interesting to see who takes the time to compliment me on my WL since I'm one who definately doesn't solicit people to notice. I prefer to know that when I receive a compliment that it's sincere. I know the dreaded question will come soon..... "how much have you lost". I hate this one the most. I find it embarrassing to admit the actual number (except here on 3FC). There is a person on this site who will have lost something like 96 lbs when she hits goal. She really wanted to lose the extra 4 lbs just so she could tell people that she lost 100 lbs. That is so NOT me! I personally (and this could just be me) would find that mortifying.
I do like your response to that question though; I may have to borrow it from time to time. I was going to say something like "I try not to weigh myself and just focus on how I feel", but I like yours better! Thanks!

Good for you in knowing exactly how to handle this situation and your husband. Goes to show you what 43+ years of marriage can accomplish.
I'm glad he's your biggest cheerleader now!
Congrats on getting good results with your blood work! :carrot:

You GO girl! What an inspiration and I totally LOVE your attitude.
I want to grow up and be just like you! :hug:

Whenever I'm around someone who says they can't go back to college because they are too old, I always say, "Well, how old are you now?" And then, "Well, how old are you going to be in 2 years (or 4 years or however long they'd need to be in college to achieve their goal). Of course, the answer is they will still be "x" years old regardless whether they go back to college or not. The huge difference is that they'd have a new degree if they chose to go rather than feeling like they can't, simply because of their age!
Ludicrous! :)

JenRem...thanks for your kind words...I feel the same way you do...I used those responses a good number of years ago when I lost about 40 pounds...this time the loss will be greater and more dramatic...and I am dreading the initial phases of that socially as well..Not me to share that stuff either...QUITE MORTIFIED as you say!

Last night my hubby took me to a really nice seafood restaurant where I could order EXACTLY how I wanted my food prepared. I'd been on a bit of a shopping splurge the last two days, encouraged and financed by him, and felt pretty good in my new outfit. As we were leaving the house he turned and told me "You look fantastic..." ! After 40+ years, and a very full life.....what he thinks still matters!!

And Safety lady...Yes...I should have mentioned your going back to school is a sign of what and who you are!! Your family should be so proud of that and hope they inherited some of it!!! And I will be 65 in August...retired 4 years now...and am working on a Masters degree...! Just for fun since I don't plan to go back to work. For anyone who does that while still working...my hat's off to you!:wave::bravo::cp::hat:
Just shows to go ya" this forum is made up of some amazing women who are balancing a lot. Since I'm probably the oldest one on this thread...I see a lot of ladies with amazing strength and really interesting lives...I'm glad to be along for the ride!

Wow! Does she think you are OLD??? My Mom dropped 40 lbs on IP last year May-Oct at 72! If she was unhappy and wanted a change, I'm 100% all for her happiness and we all know living in a lower-weight body contributes to longevity. My Mom swims or walks daily (did prior to IP, does now). I'm not ready to lose her so I am GLAD she took charge of her health!
Sounds like your doc is like mine
When I saw mine in Dec and told him about IP (brought him a folder of materials from my coach), his comment was, "you could have done this without buying their packets."
(This, after no comment about my then-FORTY FIVE POUND WEIGHT LOSS SINCE HE'D SEEN ME IN JUNE)
My response? "Doing it alone was working real well for me wasn't it?" And I just looked at him.

I LOVE the landmine on the battlefield visual. Thanks for that!

Sounds like your doc is like mine
When I saw mine in Dec and told him about IP (brought him a folder of materials from my coach), his comment was, "you could have done this without buying their packets."
(This, after no comment about my then-FORTY FIVE POUND WEIGHT LOSS SINCE HE'D SEEN ME IN JUNE)
My response? "Doing it alone was working real well for me wasn't it?" And I just looked at him.

I LOVE the landmine on the battlefield visual. Thanks for that!


Lisa-Glad you enjoyed my phraseology! ...However...the "landmine" I was referring to was my husband! He has no problem eating all the carbs he wants and keeping the weight off...so any diet that is not strictly calorie based did not make sense to him and he was sure I was doing something to sabotage my weight loss in the past..

My Dr. was GREAT! In fact...she said she was going to put HER husband on it!

And my husband is on board now 100%...and when he realized how wrong he's been in all my previous attempts to lose...he is humble and just short of an apology...That's OK..Paybacks are better..His suggestion to just take the VISA card when I go to the mall is a sure sign he's repenting.Big Time!