What a day I've had and to top it off, tonight I find out it's not all Unicorns Farting Sparkles. Next I bet someone will tell me that there really are calories in cakes eaten on national holidays.

So day started out with me resigning from the company I have worked for 19 years. I really believed my boss who has bi-polar tendancies would flip out, scream and tell me to immediately leave, never talk to anyone again. He didn't and it took me by surprise so I really wasn't mentally prepared for the rest of the day, telling my direct team and co-workers that I'm leaving (oh, and going to a competitor company in another city). I have shed a few tears today but also felt wonderfully blessed that the people I thought were friends, really are friends. The next hardest day will be leaving them but that won't be for another 3 weeks. In the meantime, I have lots of information to impart and on the home-front, lots of packing to do. I didn't sleep much last night though so I need to get to bed, just had to check in.

Confession time: with the stress of the day, I went out for lunch and had fish tacos with sweet potato fries, then got back to the office where there was a huge plate of cookies, full of gluten so I usually resist but today I ate four, then I ended the work day with a tequila chocolate bottle (the kind you buy at Christmas) because heck I deserved it. At least dinner was a proper P1 meal and I passed on tonight's snack. I feel I should beat myself up for the unplanned excess but today I'm going to forgive myself and move on instead. Tomorrow I'll eat another low carb dinner but a lamb stew with coconut milk for lunch and strawberry muffins with yogurt for breakfast is already on my menu plan.

Tonight I'm trying yogurt using the oven light method and 1/2 skim milk, 1/2 almond milk. I would love to hear how to do you do the crock pot method? The book I read said that low heat was too much and you had to turn the crock pot on and off over the 8-10 hours which really isn't an option for me. However it would be the most convenient place to hold the yogurt.

Maile: thanks for the tip on the book.


Ishbel: sorry to hear your foot story but just think that you have that much longer to dream about shoe shopping before the final purchase is made! Great to hear your invitations are out, I'll watch the mail.

Evepet: your mention of massages reminds me that I was going to give myself a facial when my boss kicked me to the curb and I had no job to go to for the rest of the month. I guess that plan went bad too but I am taking a few vacation days that I need to burn this month so in between packing and house work, I'll find the time to get the facial and destress.

Now back to convincing the unicorns to start farting their sparkles.

Ishbel- I am sorry to hear about your health issues, but you also make me laugh! I have always thought that a sense of humor can get us through any situation!

KitKat- I was so happy to hear that you are going to forgive yourself and move on! You have had so many changes in your life and stressors, and have managed them well and even made yogurt!! I am so impressed! I do appreciate the discussion on yogurt--I may try making it myself!


I find myself having really hungry days, still, and overeating "good" foods (yesterday it was beef jerky). I have not figured that out yet. I know that it seems to be the day after I work out hard. I wish this was easier! I think I am struggling a little with the fact that my life is not all "unicorns farting sparkles"!!! The weight is gone, but really nothing else in my life has changed and I need to work through that.

I hope everyone has a good day!!

Ishbel: I was sorry to hear about your foot. I hope that medication kicks in soon. I agree with you about posting during the difficult times. I had to laugh at your unicorns..I have never heard that.

Gazelle, this maintenance is long process of figuring out what works for you. I have hungry times also. Are you not as hungry on days when you have not previously worked out? Have you considered adding a protein bar on workout days to see if that helps?

Kitkat: I think you should get a facial and a massage. Leaving a job after 19 years and moving are major stress events. I am glad your co-workers are proving to be friends and that they are being supportive in your last three weeks. You sound like you are back on track. Enjoy your yogurt!

Evepet:It sounds like Costco is not a viable option. You are much better off making your yogurt. I like the Century Club as it has a lot of low carb recipes. I may break down and order the new gluten free cookbook.

I am looking at my profile and cannot believe that I weighted 242 pounds...but then again yes, I can believe I weighed that much. All those memories are still there..but I am happily creating new memories.

...perhaps I've only said "it's not all unicorns farting sparkles" in a private message? I have said that sentence to the screen for SURE LOL



When I was in Phase 1 I got really tired of people saying "this diet is easy" yadda yadda yadda, I honestly think it's ok for it to be hard and it's ok to admit that. Nothing ever worth it is easy...perhaps those people need to tell the universe it's easy for them to help tell the universe it's not hard? I'm always concerned of what energy I put into the universe, if I say it's 'easy' and it's not really that day will the universe think I'm not listening and make it harder so that I see that I'm human....wow that's deep eh?

Last year I was a TOPS division winner and I stood up on stage and said "wow, how did I make it here" I honestly didn't realize the work...this year as part of my speech I'm saying "I'm here, through motiviation, determination, focus and sometimes just plain grit!" ...it's not hard everyday...it's not easy everyday. Some days I think "WOW, I got it today" the next day a complete 180 and I'm "not sure". But if I look at my daily weigh graph (I track it) there is a MASSIVE trend...and it brings me comfort.

The days that I don't feel like the unicorn is farting sparkles...those are the days I think "ok, you can give in...and be what you were...or you can just power through this". As maile once posted "crumble or conquer"

My one year on Phase 1, I learned to flex that muscle in my head...I use those muscles sometimes daily in maintenance. But I did learn that it was

1. Ok to be hungry
2. it won't hurt me to say no, there will always be cake
3. I am different then anyone else on this earth so how I eat to maintain will be different then anyone else and that's 'ok'.

I was told once that I don't post my struggles enough and it kinda shocked me. I struggle and as far as I know I share that with you guys....if I don't then please know I do whine to the VIP when I take my breakfast away and replace it with a shake (as a small example). It's less so now (almost a year later) just because...well, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it if I'm going to stay this size. That article I read about maintenance (don't know where it is now)....people who lose their limbs have no choice they live life with the cards they are dealt...kinda like us, we have to figure out how to play this game.

But never EVER think it was or is easy on a daily basis for me and I don't think everyday is easy for anyone else. Sharing the difficult moments is part of support...

Just back from seeing my coach...she is awesome! She made specific suggestions for breakfast (3 eggs or 2 eggs + 2oz turkey sausage or crustless quiche without milk). Hmmm, it sure sounded familiar! She also reminded me about the other basics of P1. So here we go...

Just like KitKat found yesterday, there are lots of good people still out there willing to help. Good luck. Remember we're all here with you for support and like Ishbel says, we all struggle. Just some of us are more vocal than others.

I know you can succeed.

Molly

P.S. Looks like I'll be in your neck of the woods in a couple weeks. Trying to get all the work done on the classic car we'll haul up. I'll PM you then and maybe we can have dinner together again.

I will be sure to be on the lookout for any sparkly flatulent unicorns, but doubt that I will spot any. They sound like they are pretty rare. Maintenance is going to take some getting used to, and I can see there will be challenges. My first week has been okay (a glass of wine has never tasted so good!) for the most part though.

It was a mixed bag of a day today (sorry for the me post):
Good - the yogurt batch started last night, finished tonight was a huge success. 1/2 skim milk, 1/2 almond milk, no extra skim milk powder. Oven light method. Yogurt set well overnight then I let it drain all day. Mixed back in a bit of the whey and a bit of torani french vanilla syrup. Amazing taste and really creamy.

Fail - I went to Costco to buy a new load of treats for my team (we keep a cupboard stocked but without me I don't know who will feed them ). Almonds were on the list and I saw Cinnabon cinnamon almonds in a bag so it seemed worth a try. I had a 1/2 serving put on my napkin then moved the rest to the cupboard. They were sooo good. I had 3 more 1/2 servings before the afternoon was out.

I did a lighter P1 dinner but I do need to beat myself up over this one. Tomorrow will be a P2 day with lunch and dinner plans. I need to nip this trend now. I am tired and cranky feeling tonight so I think I will also head to a bath and bed early. It feels like a crash from the stress and emotions.

Thanks for your post Ishbel. I think you have a good balance of positive and struggles. My post yesterday said I wasn't going to beat myself up over the cookies but really I was just trying to keep myself positive. This morning I beat myself up over the scale which was up probably because of stress, little bit of "C" and maybe the cookies but it was still a bad start to the day. So sometimes there is still struggle behind the positive but an effort to still push through.

Kitkat,

I think you have over the top stress you are dealing with. It's good that you are recognizing that you are having slips. Use what was on the Beck website for today, "Mistakes are an unavoidable part of the learning process. You can’t learn to diet successfully without making mistakes along the way, just as you can’t learn to play tennis without missing a few shots. If you have the unreasonable expectation that you won’t make mistakes, it will only make you feel worse, and make it seem like a much bigger deal, when you inevitably do." Don't beat yourself up. Just keep posting and talking to us and working on rectifying things. I think you're doing good with what you're dealing with.

We love you
Molly

Thanks Molly. I missed that Beck quote today but it fits. I hate the being human and making mistakes part of life but I need to accept them. I feel bad that I'm not doing some packing or cleaning but tonight I think I need to just relax.

Maile- Thank you for your constant positivity and advice. I really appreciate how you read through the posts and comment directly to each one of us!

KitKat- I hope you have a better day and stay with yourself through this journey. I can see, through you, how we all tend to be our own worst enemy and for now I hope you can be gentle and kind with yourself because you have alot going on!

Kitkat..forgive yourself and wipe the slate clean. Allow yourself today to rejuvenate and relax. Tomorrow will be a brighter and more productive day!

Kitkat - sure hope today is going better for you! Try not to stress, everything will fall into place.

Molly - I too missed that quote; it is one I should print out and post where I'll see it often! Hopefully we can get together when you're up here later in the month. Bring warm outerwear! We've gotten a few more inches of heavy wet snow since early this morning, and expecting up to 11" here by Friday afternoon. Of course, where your cottage is may not get anything near that amount, but best to be prepared. TTYL

kitkat the start of maintenance is stressful in itself, you're doing better then you think you are!

Reference beck diet facebook...just keep liking their statuses or commenting, the more you do that the more facebook knows to put it in your newsfeed. You can also go on her website and find ALL her daily thoughts in one area.

I'm not a big Facebook fan, so I just use Beck's website and their daily diet solutions. Since I use Firefox as my browser, you can pin tabs so they're always there and open. I have Beck right next to 3FC ready for a quick click and there they are to read.

http://www.beckdietsolution.com/daily-diet-solutions/

Have a good day, all.
Molly