No, I'm not leaving my husband
 

Why is it the second a wife loses weight everyone asks if she is going to leave her husband? I am asked this question on a daily basis. My poor husband is repeatedly asked if he's scared that I'm going to leave him. I guess the thought process is that now I supposedly have more options since I'm smaller and more men would be attracted. Still who asks this?? Hubby loved me at 247 he will love me at 167. He would love me no matter what. I love him even though he is a big guy. Grrrrrrrr....sorry little rant. Don't get me started on the "do you want to lose weight or are you sick?" or "are you enjoying sex more now you are thinner?" questions. Really???

Again sorry for the rant, just had to talk to people who would understand.

Sassy

How rude! I had a friend ask if DH wanted more sex!!! It's like "Are you still beating your wife?" How do you answer questions like that?!!

I got the same response last time around with my boyfriend, so it's not just husbands. He wasn't worried about it until his friends kept saying it!
People are ridiculous sometimes.

People as you this "daily"? Really?

Wow...


That's sad. I wouldn't even entertain the question.

Yup pretty much daily over the past month. I see different people everyday at work so I get different random questions daily. It's interesting. My husbands friends are the worst. They pick on him a lot about it

People ask the most stupid and rude questions sometimes! I'm sure you and your husband have a great relationship and its really none of their business anyway. I know some people say things as a joke but it cracks me up when people ask things like that and are completely serious, I'm like your joking right?!?!?

The funny thing is my friend just lost 130lbs and she's been with her boyfriend 6 years. Well, she did leave him when she started get more male attention BUT he was a very crappy boyfriend and many of us suspected that she was with him because she didn't have enough confidence to leave. But even people who know this weren't rude enough to say "hey you lost a lot of weight, when are you leaving him?"

What is more insane is that people actually think that because your are big you "should" be with a bad BF, husband? And only if we lose weight we are somehow worth a better partner? what's that all about????

and since I'm on a rant...

I was on an online dating service, and I realized that when men ask for "someone who takes care of themselves" is actually code for no fatty? So I made sure to put in my profile:
"Because I'm overweight doesn't mean I'm unclean, a slob or smelly! I take care of myself and I even shower! (imagine that!)"

Didn't get many replies... lol!

LOVE IT! That quote was worth fewer replies!!!

So rude - and kind of insulting to your husband! The good news is, what other people say or think means BO DIDDLEY in the long run. Not only are you not leaving your loving husband, but now they can all drool and swoon when he walks around with his hot wife :) Their fault for not seeing the amazing you that your husband always saw :)

Well, my husband's first wife actually did leave him when she lost a lot of weight (150 lbs). They were not happy or well matched, so I don't think it was really the reason, but it definitely accelerated things. She lost weight, gained confidence, and start doing things she had never done before. I think she settled for him (and he did for her, for his own reasons) and once she shed the weight, she realized that she didn't have to settle anymore. I actually worry a little bit that he will start to get insecure as I get closer to goal. I love him very much and I am very happy, but I fear it will stir old emotions in him.

I can't explain why people would say such things to you, though. :?:

Wow! I'm absolutely shocked. Have you ever thought about calling them on it. Saying something like......
"I can't believe you just asked me that. That's really rude and isn't any of your business anyways!"
I know it would be hard to confront them (for me anyways), but think about the shocked look they will give you. Plus, I bet they'd never do anything like it again. It will boost your confidence for standing up for yourself and your husband and teach others that your personal life (very personal life) is not up for discussion! Jen

I LOVE THIS!!! Good for you! I have never placed a personal ad but I have seen a few by guys that make me ask "WTF" are you an independently wealthy, saintly male model or something that you have such high standards?! Do you want a human partner or what?

Or..."Why would I do that? I am lucky enough to be married to a man who loves & respects me when I am heavy, or not - THAT'S a real relationship!"

For me personally, the fact that my husband has been with me through "thick waist & thin" and loves me no matter what size jeans I wear makes him a TOTAL KEEPER!!!!

I guess people say that to my husband too cause he has started halfheartedly joking about it himself. I know he wasn't worried about it when I first started, it's just the bonehead friends of his. When did people get so shallow? Grrr

WOW!!!! That's what I said outloud when I read your post!! That is SOME KINDA GALL!!

....I don't know if my VIP has ever been asked that question but now when I receive compliments or 'winks' (got one from a 20 year old recently) it actually makes me appreciate him MORE! And I tell him that...he always just smiles...I like to think "yah buster, I was in those layers and only one man saw that...look what you missed out on!" HAHAHA

...I'll be the VIP's second wife too...

Wow! I can't believe the nerve of some people to make assumptions about your relationships!

I just hear, "Oh, I bet your husband is loving your new body"...even from my coach! I just say "yes," because its the easy answer. Truth is, he notices and probably likes it (75 lbs in a year), but my weight has never been an issue for him. He still made me feel good about myself when I weighed more than him! That's probably why I started gaining so much after we got together ;)