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Old 06-08-2012, 07:38 PM   #1  
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Default lack of family support?

Anyone else have more support and encouragement from friends/acquaintances then opposed to family?

One of my fitness instructors approached me about sharing my weight loss story on her Facebook fitness/yoga page. I said sure and did a write up for her and included some before/after pictures.

Anyways, she posted it on FB and shared it to my wall as well. I had TONS of people say wonderful things and even had some people message privately me but what was the most interesting was that besides my Mom, no one else in my family made any comments. Not my brother, sister, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, cousins or aunts/uncles.

I feel really confused about this?? How hard is it to say "good job!".

Oh well, I am happier and healthier and that is all that matters!
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:11 PM   #2  
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Well, first- don't assume that your family saw the post. They may have, they may not have. Feeds fly by on FB, and sometimes I don't see stuff that people post even when I pay particular attention to them. But even if they did see it, they may have reasons for not saying anything that have nothing to do with hurting your feelings. Sometimes people don't know what to say about weight loss and don't want to stick their foot in their mouths. At the end of the day, you're losing weight for you and not them anyway. You should be proud of what you've accomplished whether they say anything or not.
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:24 PM   #3  
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And, have they already seen you and discussed it with you. If so, they may not feel like they need to again. I have been trying to live by a quote, "assume no ill will" meaning that just because someone does or doesn't do something, don't assume it is because they are out to get you. There are so many other factors to take into consideration.
Shawna
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Old 06-09-2012, 12:59 AM   #4  
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Or...is any of the family heavy? I find i get great encouragement from the 'skinny' side of the family and not so much from the heavy side. Like im switching teams and used to be the best player lol.

I do like the new jersey though. Hope to someday be the captain of team skinny!!
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Old 06-09-2012, 01:08 AM   #5  
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I only get encouragement from my mom... She's my cheerleader! But aunts uncles. Say nothing... I just recently sqw them at a funeral. After not seeing most of them for over a year... I left feel kinda down. Thinking to myself. How the **** can you not notice a difference.... I feel you.
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Old 06-09-2012, 01:12 AM   #6  
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Originally Posted by JellyMae87 View Post
I only get encouragement from my mom... She's my cheerleader! But aunts uncles. Say nothing... I just recently sqw them at a funeral. After not seeing most of them for over a year... I left feel kinda down. Thinking to myself. How the **** can you not notice a difference.... I feel you.
You are stunning Jelly, truly. Just had to be said!
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Old 06-09-2012, 03:52 AM   #7  
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Originally Posted by Mom3LoveBugs View Post
Anyone else have more support and encouragement from friends/acquaintances then opposed to family?

One of my fitness instructors approached me about sharing my weight loss story on her Facebook fitness/yoga page. I said sure and did a write up for her and included some before/after pictures.

Anyways, she posted it on FB and shared it to my wall as well. I had TONS of people say wonderful things and even had some people message privately me but what was the most interesting was that besides my Mom, no one else in my family made any comments. Not my brother, sister, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, cousins or aunts/uncles.

I feel really confused about this?? How hard is it to say "good job!".

Oh well, I am happier and healthier and that is all that matters!
I have had to look at your pics over and over...no offense but you dont even look like the same person lol, maybe they didnt know it was you haha

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You are stunning Jelly, truly. Just had to be said!
Very true, and your latest pic Lizrr is WOW as well...you girls are a real inspiration.
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Old 06-09-2012, 07:39 AM   #8  
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Sara

I am in much the same situation. With the exception of my 9 year old son not much support at home it actually started with outright hostility towards IP because I did not discuss it with my wife before starting IP.

The support from my son, Jack, all of you here and friends in FB is something that has kept me going. The results are what has truly kept me motivated but the support is great. My wife has not commented on any of my weight loss posts on FB.
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Old 06-09-2012, 08:03 AM   #9  
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Four or five of my FB friends in VT have joined IP because of my FB posts. It is nice to know I've helped them make a move I. The right direction.

I've had fit and unfit friends making positive FB comments and it just likes to my post photos. Some friends have not posted but congratulated ne in person. Yesterday was a school concert and 5 or 6 fellow parents gave me complemenu and encouragement. It felt great.
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Old 06-09-2012, 08:12 AM   #10  
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Longhorn said it a few weeks ago in another post and it made sense. He gave someone the tough love speech.

OP it doesn't matter what others think or say. You're the one you should be doing this for. I think I softened that a bit but do this for you and your health. The heck with everyone else.
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Old 06-09-2012, 08:59 AM   #11  
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Originally Posted by usmcvet View Post
Sara

I am in much the same situation. With the exception of my 9 year old son not much support at home it actually started with outright hostility towards IP because I did not discuss it with my wife before starting IP.

The support from my son, Jack, all of you here and friends in FB is something that has kept me going. The results are what has truly kept me motivated but the support is great. My wife has not commented on any of my weight loss posts on FB.
I know how hard it is when you don't get the support from your spouse. I've dieted in the past and started doing well and never got a response from my husband and it felt like a real let down. When i failed at the diet he'd go back to his normal self and just say 'don't worry about it hun'! What i finally found out from him was that he was insecure with me losing weight cause he thought i would get skinny and up and leave him! My husband has MS and has extra weight as well and thought i would "want" someone "healthier". We've worked through those insecurities, he's had the controversial "Liberation" treatment for MS two years ago (and doing phenomenally well) and now doing IP together! Things are really great, so what I'm saying is that there may be an underlying reason or insecurity that is stopping her from being supportive. She may be scared of something so it may not just be as simple as being unsupportive .....the changes and confidence your gaining could be frightening her for some reason.....BUT regardless you are doing this for you to be healthier for yourself first and then for them, especially your kids....keep up the fantastic work cause you've done amazing and are a great inspiration to the rest of us!!!!
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Old 06-09-2012, 09:34 AM   #12  
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Originally Posted by JellyMae87 View Post
I only get encouragement from my mom... She's my cheerleader! But aunts uncles. Say nothing... I just recently sqw them at a funeral. After not seeing most of them for over a year... I left feel kinda down. Thinking to myself. How the **** can you not notice a difference.... I feel you.
Just laughing at the **** I've never posted anywhere that had a swear filter built in, it's kinda funny. But you've done an amazing job. I couldn't understand and still don't, how the people who I see on a weekly basis have not noticed. I'm creeping up on 90 pounds lost. Oh well. I know that people who actually care have noticed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom3LoveBugs View Post
Anyone else have more support and encouragement from friends/acquaintances then opposed to family?

One of my fitness instructors approached me about sharing my weight loss story on her Facebook fitness/yoga page. I said sure and did a write up for her and included some before/after pictures.

Anyways, she posted it on FB and shared it to my wall as well. I had TONS of people say wonderful things and even had some people message privately me but what was the most interesting was that besides my Mom, no one else in my family made any comments. Not my brother, sister, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, cousins or aunts/uncles.

I feel really confused about this?? How hard is it to say "good job!".

Oh well, I am happier and healthier and that is all that matters!
You look awesome too.

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BUT regardless you are doing this for you to be healthier for yourself first and then for them, especially your kids....keep up the fantastic work cause you've done amazing and are a great inspiration to the rest of us!!!!
Thanks Wendy. It feels funny to hear that but as uncomfortable as it makes me feel it also makes me feel good too. Not sure if that makes too much sense as I sit here reading it but thanks!

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Old 06-09-2012, 10:05 AM   #13  
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Weight talk and my family have always been fraught with danger. For some reason I want them to praise me when I lose weight but nary mention a word when I gain it. I know if sounds silly but I've always thought that people who talk about my weight loss to my face are probably also talking about my previous weight gain behind my back.

Years ago (around 20) I lost about 120 pounds. My Dad sweetly told me that he was glad I had lost weight because he was not as embarassed to tell people that I was his daughter anymore.

Yup, I'll skip all that "wonderful" famly weight loss backhanded praise.

On the other hand, hubs is GREAT. Tells me I look great all the time and tells me how happy he is for me that I'm moving towards a goal that will make me happy.
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Old 06-09-2012, 10:09 AM   #14  
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I need to back uo a step ir two. My Mother and Mother in law have been supportive. I suppose I'm really just hurt about my wife's indifference. She had plenty of criticism over the years but only 1/10th the praise.
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Old 06-09-2012, 11:01 AM   #15  
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Or...is any of the family heavy? I find i get great encouragement from the 'skinny' side of the family and not so much from the heavy side. Like im switching teams and used to be the best player lol.
Actually, a few of them are and a friend of mine told me that by me reaching my goals, it may make them feel insecure since they haven't been able to be successful with their own weight loss. I had never looked at it that way before.

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I have had to look at your pics over and over...no offense but you dont even look like the same person lol, maybe they didnt know it was you haha
LMAO!! Thank you but I wish that was the case...

Thank you to everyone who responded... I am not happy that there are some of you in similar situations. It makes me sad that we are not getting/receiving support from the people we should be the most.
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