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Old 06-10-2012, 01:30 PM   #31  
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Mompattie - (clearing my throat here) - there ARE (a few) guys out there that do notice and even go so far as to give compliments (even when not dating anymore)...it took me 3 tries, but I found one and I'm keeping him!!! LMAO! Just had to throw this out there.....
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Old 06-10-2012, 01:42 PM   #32  
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Mompattie - (clearing my throat here) - there ARE (a few) guys out there that do notice and even go so far as to give compliments (even when not dating anymore)...it took me 3 tries, but I found one and I'm keeping him!!! LMAO! Just had to throw this out there.....
That's so great!! I know there definitely are guys out there that do!! Just sayin cause mine doesn't. . Oh well, he's great at lots of stuff is I guess I'll keep him! Happy for your compliments though!!! Lucky girl!!
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Old 06-10-2012, 02:41 PM   #33  
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That's so great!! I know there definitely are guys out there that do!! Just sayin cause mine doesn't. . Oh well, he's great at lots of stuff is I guess I'll keep him! Happy for your compliments though!!! Lucky girl!!
Good grief, I had enough trouble trying to get # 1 trained so wouldn't have the energy to go at it two more times.

After 40 year of marriage and also raising a son I'd be suspicous if compliments suddenly started coming so have to agree with Longhorn!
Had to chuckle about just needing to know if the kids are still alive. If I took my worry alerts down to that level I would have avoided years of needless stress.
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Old 06-10-2012, 03:09 PM   #34  
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Compliments is for dating bwahaha....if he isnt complimenting you, your doing fine. When he doesnt like something, he'll let you know lol. Its a guy thing, we often take our most important relationship for granted. If we start bringing flowers home and complimenting now you will assume we have done something wrong....
My DH isn't one for lots of compliments, but that's ok with me. If I want him to say something I walk up to him and say "Tell me I look cute" and he does.

I know he is making an honest effort to say things without prompting though. Case in point, I had a hair appointment for a cut and color - DH knew that was one of my errands for that day. He ran off to work and not 20 minutes later I got a call from my stylist that she needed to move my appointment to the following day. Worked for me so I just went on with my day.

When DH got home he looked at me and said " Cute haircut!". I burst out laughing and told him my appointment got moved. Since I don't wash my hair the day I get it done, I guess I didn't look too bad.

He makes me laugh every day - I say he is a keeper.
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Old 06-10-2012, 03:18 PM   #35  
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We arent ingoring you...just not interested lol

Yes you need your girlfriends cause we couldnt give a crap about what the Kardashian whores are up to, who got a rose on the bachelor, whos leading the amazing race, or what Oprah and Oz are up to....

We want to know only a few important things...whats for supper, are the kids still alive, and are ya horny! And maybe, can i get a new truck haha

Go away for a week and you will see how he handles it lol. We cant do chit on our own...and would likely starve not cause we cant cook, but we will run out of dishes lol
LOL This is why I have many more guy friends than girl friends. I don't care about lots of that kind of stuff either. Plus not many girls I know have sat on the kitchen floor and rebuilt a carburetor.

I really enjoy reading what the guys on the forum are thinking. And I need to see what new trucks they are buying too.
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Old 06-10-2012, 03:22 PM   #36  
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Compliments is for dating bwahaha....if he isnt complimenting you, your doing fine. When he doesnt like something, he'll let you know lol. Its a guy thing, we often take our most important relationship for granted. If we start bringing flowers home and complimenting now you will assume we have done something wrong....
LMAO...is that what it is! I just thought my husband needed romance boot camp. He drives me nuts! Why are compliments like kryptonite to husbands? Never mind, don't answer that. Not diet related and I don't want to hear all the gushy stories from the ladies out there with romantic husbands...lol.
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Old 06-10-2012, 03:25 PM   #37  
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My DH isn't one for lots of compliments, but that's ok with me. If I want him to say something I walk up to him and say "Tell me I look cute" and he does.

I know he is making an honest effort to say things without prompting though. Case in point, I had a hair appointment for a cut and color - DH knew that was one of my errands for that day. He ran off to work and not 20 minutes later I got a call from my stylist that she needed to move my appointment to the following day. Worked for me so I just went on with my day.

When DH got home he looked at me and said " Cute haircut!". I burst out laughing and told him my appointment got moved. Since I don't wash my hair the day I get it done, I guess I didn't look too bad.

He makes me laugh every day - I say he is a keeper.
My hubby does great with scripts too. "Honey, tell me I'm pretty" usually is very effective.

I love the hair appointment story! I think our DH's may have been seperated at birth.
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Old 06-11-2012, 10:53 AM   #38  
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My husband has been great about this after seeing me lose and gain tons over the years. He even gave up wine as I wasn't having any and we both decided it's something we don't have to add back.

I asked my grown daughter why she hadn't said anything about my loss. She said all her life (35 years) she remembers me being on a diet and losing and gaining. So she said she has never said anything about my gaining and thought it best not to say anything when I was losing because I would feel bad when I regained it. So years of experience has told her it's best to keep her mouth shut.

In my case the silence from a spouse would really spur me on to prove I was right in the first place. ( Of course I always am )
You will do this!
I meant to ask. Do your kids know you plan to go to Disney when you reach your goal? That would give you a guaranteed cheering section!

pat
I agree with you there. I think that's what my husband did for years. I had gone on so many diets (and ultimately failed) and he just stopped commenting at some point. (I also stopped telling him what was doing cuz I didn't want him to know in case I failed). With IP, he knew. Didn't say much of anything at first, now he's my biggest fan. He wants me to start IP clinic in my area with my chiro because "I'm amazing at it and so inspiring".

Sara: the first thing that popped in my mind and was mentioned in
Devious posts was 1) jealousy & 2) issues with themselves (some form of self loathing) where they can't be happy or supportive of someone who's doing something positive for themselves that they haven't been able to do.

You look amazing! What I've learned from this and am now passing my "wisdom" onto my son who is 3 weeks into IP, is that you have to find your motivation and/or reason for wanting this and keeping it off. FOR YOURSELF! When you lose all the weight and it's just you maintaining and the compliments stop coming, something else has to push you forward.

On the flip side, that's why we're here!

Pam

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Old 06-23-2012, 07:02 PM   #39  
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I found this all very interesting and I have experienced everything everyone else has mentioned. I am 10 months in and lost only 61 lbs - slow going, but I am not giving up until I am done.

My husband was reluctant to be excited about yet another program, but he was not going to deny me an opportunity to fail at this - like I have at other plans in the past. As I was losing the weight, he was very supportive and complimented me. Now he calls me "skinny" all the time, but he did ask me if I was going to leave him now that I am all thin and sexy :P (... I thought he was joking around but after reading another post on here - perhaps he is becoming insecure..... mental note to make sure he knows how much I love him and hope he was kidding because I would never - he IS my life!!)

As for family, the males have not said a thing, but aunts and female cousins wanted to know if there was a "magic pill" and when I told them you need to change your diet - they were not having it - so they can remain fat until the cows come home...

The biggest disappointment was my best friend. We were thin together 25 years ago and shared clothes back in the day - we then got fat together and shared sob stories - and now that I have lost some of my weight (with more to go!!) she said.... "yes, you lost all that weight - but what surprises me is all your wrinkles ---- you don't look good at all!!". What a mean thing to say to your best friend. At the end of the day, I don't really care - I will happily take a few more wrinkles and some extra skin, because the ties on my shoes are not all the way to the inside of my leg - because I can bend over and tie my shoes again! If feels good and I am proud of me!

Let them say and do what they want - you know why you are here and what you need to do - so let's get this done!

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Old 06-23-2012, 07:17 PM   #40  
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I found this all very interesting and I have experienced everything everyone else has mentioned. I am 10 months in and lost only 61 lbs - slow going, but I am not giving up until I am done.

My husband was reluctant to be excited about yet another program, but he was not going to deny me an opportunity to fail at this - like I have at other plans in the past. As I was losing the weight, he was very supportive and complimented me. Now he calls me "skinny" all the time, but he did ask me if I was going to leave him now that I am all thin and sexy :P (... I thought he was joking around but after reading another post on here - perhaps he is becoming insecure..... mental note to make sure he knows how much I love him and hope he was kidding because I would never - he IS my life!!)

As for family, the males have not said a thing, but aunts and female cousins wanted to know if there was a "magic pill" and when I told them you need to change your diet - they were not having it - so they can remain fat until the cows come home...

The biggest disappointment was my best friend. We were thin together 25 years ago and shared clothes back in the day - we then got fat together and shared sob stories - and now that I have lost some of my weight (with more to go!!) she said.... "yes, you lost all that weight - but what surprises me is all your wrinkles ---- you don't look good at all!!". What a mean thing to say to your best friend. At the end of the day, I don't really care - I will happily take a few more wrinkles and some extra skin, because the ties on my shoes are not all the way to the inside of my leg - because I can bend over and tie my shoes again! If feels good and I am proud of me!

Let them say and do what they want - you know why you are here and what you need to do - so let's get this done!
OK, first you have not "only" lost 61 pounds. That is amn amazing accomplishment. Just imagine the change in how your body functions not carrying that weight alound.

As for the "friend". That was unbelievably rude! I would have been shocked speechless.

Just keep on keeping on!

Pat
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Old 06-24-2012, 12:32 AM   #41  
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I need to back uo a step ir two. My Mother and Mother in law have been supportive. I suppose I'm really just hurt about my wife's indifference. She had plenty of criticism over the years but only 1/10th the praise.
Maybe she is simply worried that other women will start to notice you and after "years of criticism" you may feel the need to make even BIGGER changes in your life. The old country song, "It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your *** all day," comes to mind, LOL. Maybe she needs some reassurance from YOU?! I know my DH used to be very insecure and jealous. At some point, he realized that through THICK & THIN I'm still here......He's turned into a pretty nice and supportive guy!
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Old 06-24-2012, 08:41 AM   #42  
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Maybe she is simply worried that other women will start to notice you and after "years of criticism" you may feel the need to make even BIGGER changes in your life. The old country song, "It's hard to kiss the lips, at night, that chew your *** all day," comes to mind, LOL. Maybe she needs some reassurance from YOU?! I know my DH used to be very insecure and jealous. At some point, he realized that through THICK & THIN I'm still here......He's turned into a pretty nice and supportive guy!
I had not thought of it that way.
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Old 06-24-2012, 09:10 AM   #43  
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I found this all very interesting and I have experienced everything everyone else has mentioned. I am 10 months in and lost only 61 lbs - slow going, but I am not giving up until I am done.

My husband was reluctant to be excited about yet another program, but he was not going to deny me an opportunity to fail at this - like I have at other plans in the past. As I was losing the weight, he was very supportive and complimented me. Now he calls me "skinny" all the time, but he did ask me if I was going to leave him now that I am all thin and sexy :P (... I thought he was joking around but after reading another post on here - perhaps he is becoming insecure..... mental note to make sure he knows how much I love him and hope he was kidding because I would never - he IS my life!!)

As for family, the males have not said a thing, but aunts and female cousins wanted to know if there was a "magic pill" and when I told them you need to change your diet - they were not having it - so they can remain fat until the cows come home...

The biggest disappointment was my best friend. We were thin together 25 years ago and shared clothes back in the day - we then got fat together and shared sob stories - and now that I have lost some of my weight (with more to go!!) she said.... "yes, you lost all that weight - but what surprises me is all your wrinkles ---- you don't look good at all!!". What a mean thing to say to your best friend. At the end of the day, I don't really care - I will happily take a few more wrinkles and some extra skin, because the ties on my shoes are not all the way to the inside of my leg - because I can bend over and tie my shoes again! If feels good and I am proud of me!

Let them say and do what they want - you know why you are here and what you need to do - so let's get this done!
You know, this morning I had a friend that told me for me to lose 25 lbs in 34 days was dangerous and I need to be careful. This is coming from someone wanting to do the HCG diet and has not lost weight. I say, do what you feel makes you happy. A lot of Haters are out there and they will try to find any negative or make up one just to pull you down. I call it the crabs in the barrel effect. You know, one trying to get out and the other wanting to pull you down.

I had a friend like that from home. I was at my highest 287. She somewhat heavy, but always have been smaller than me, yet she struggles with her weight. I started eating clean and losing and got down to around 240 and she came to visit me. I was trying to cook clean and she would eat, but wanted to go to BK and TGIF and places like that. I told her that I didn't want to eat at those places because I wanted to stay eating clean. She told me what I cooked was delicious, but she kept pushing and pushing and wanting to go drinking and wanting to get candy. I fell off the wagon after her visit and started again and plateaued.

Then when I lost down to about 220, I was going home to visit. She called me before I came home and told me that she was gonna buy me some cotton candy when I got there. I told her I don't eat that stuff anymore and I'm trying to lose weight again. She said "You will eat it if I buy it for you." I told her no, and that I will not be eating out a lot. I need to lose the weight. She told me that I shouldn't refuse to eat out and my family wouldn't like it. I told her my family will be supportive. I went home, she wanted to go out to eat, I told her I would rather do something else. She cancelled on me to go on a date with some guy and she never came over to see me. She never called, only talked to me via text. I even invited her when I DID go out as a group to a restaurant, but she didn't go. I have known her for over 16 years.

I said all that to say this, sometimes when you make changes in your life, your friends or family will see it. It is like in family group dynamics that if one portion of the group is affected, it changes the entire dynamic of the group. Therefore, once you change, it changes the dynamic of friendships because either (1) they are jealous, (2) they feel that now their problems will surface. My friend always liked to be the one that told me how to live my life and the advice giver. When I started changing my life and coming into my own when I moved from home, she started feeling threatened and would begin to sabotage our friendship & my accomplishments. She also became very judgmental of me. I decided this was a very toxic situation for me and have since kept her at a far distance. I begin to see her for who she really was (she is pretty self conscious which causes her to be very vain and a craver of attention) and decided in order for me to be on a positive journey, I needed to release the toxicity. So I did, and I have been losing my weight ever since. She realizes I believe that I am distant, so she called me yesterday. I just talked a little and listened to her go on and on about stuff in her life. I kept pretty quiet about mine and just only mentioned my weight loss. She sounded supportive, but I know that she is not in a space to be able to truly support me. And I just leave it at that. I'm almost her size now so I just keep going and stay encourage. Hoping you and everyone will do the same!
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