....I think sometimes they just are tired....have they already said something?
I don't talk to my middle sister anymore about it, she used to change the subject or give 'whatever' when I wasn't losing. And I try not to share so much with my mom, (she'd die a little inside if she knew I thought this) because she's currently struggling and although she's happy I hear it in her voice.
I also think some people worry that we will push IP on to them when a lot of people just can't do this program. I try very hard to support people around me in whatever program that they choose. As far as I'm concerned, get it off, it doesn't matter how you get it off. Recently the BFFL was talking about weight watchers because it worked for her once (she's already said she won't do IP), so she was talking about a morning shake with fruit and milk....and I said "you need some protein in there, maybe a scoop?". She instantly replied "weight watchers isn't about protein!". So I looked back at her and said "yeah I know protein is to keep you full so if you don't want to snack in the morning have some protein, if you make room for a snack in the morning don't have any protein". She bought some protein bars recently LOL
It was an interesting conversation but was kind of enlightening....
Also, already know people at work who don't know what I was one year ago, high rate of turnover where I work....so I no longer get the compliments I used too....AND....some people just don't recognize you. I usually can tell and provide some hints in a conversation to assist lol
Anyone who is not supportive and is aware that you are on a program that is working and helping you get healthier probably has their own issues to deal with.
I would imagine in many cases seeing you do something loving for yourself brings up issues regarding their own relationships with themselves and their lifestyle and it might be something they don't want to think about or are outright terrified to face. That fear easily can turn to anger, scorn or indifference.
In any case.....it has much more to do with issues within themselves than issues with you.
Anyone who is not supportive and is aware that you are on a program that is working and helping you get healthier probably has their own issues to deal with.
I would imagine in many cases seeing you do something loving for yourself brings up issues regarding their own relationships with themselves and their lifestyle and it might be something they don't want to think about or are outright terrified to face. That fear easily can turn to anger, scorn or indifference.
In any case.....it has much more to do with issues within themselves than issues with you.
I believe you hit the nail on the head.... thank you
Luckily I've had a lot of support from most of my family (my mom is on IP and my brother is losing weight on his own plan) BUT my dad (who always means well) grates on my nerves....
If someone comments on my weight loss and asks what I'm doing, I'll be mid explanation and he jumps in with "Well all you really have to do is cut out the white stuff and just eat lean meats and fruits and you'll have the same results. I do it all the time and it's so much easier". WTF dad!? I know he doesn't think it's rude, but it pisses me off SO much and he doesn't understand when I tell him I wish he'd shut up. He thinks he's "helping" people because he's giving them other options.
If it helps anyone at all, I had a client tell me after seeing me a few times that she didn't want to bring up my weight loss in case it was a sensitive issue. She didn't know if it was intentional loss or if I'd gotten sick with something.... and she didn't want to imply that there was anything wrong with how I was before. Maybe that is why some people don't say anything?
I know it doesn't explain the family members who KNOW you're working your butt off, but in those cases I wouldn't be surprised if it was jealousy.
Luckily I've had a lot of support from most of my family (my mom is on IP and my brother is losing weight on his own plan) BUT my dad (who always means well) grates on my nerves....
If someone comments on my weight loss and asks what I'm doing, I'll be mid explanation and he jumps in with "Well all you really have to do is cut out the white stuff and just eat lean meats and fruits and you'll have the same results. I do it all the time and it's so much easier". WTF dad!? I know he doesn't think it's rude, but it pisses me off SO much and he doesn't understand when I tell him I wish he'd shut up. He thinks he's "helping" people because he's giving them other options.
If it helps anyone at all, I had a client tell me after seeing me a few times that she didn't want to bring up my weight loss in case it was a sensitive issue. She didn't know if it was intentional loss or if I'd gotten sick with something.... and she didn't want to imply that there was anything wrong with how I was before. Maybe that is why some people don't say anything?
I know it doesn't explain the family members who KNOW you're working your butt off, but in those cases I wouldn't be surprised if it was jealousy.
oh, they know! perhaps they are sick of reading it on Facebook?? I post often about my exercising addiction...
I need to back uo a step ir two. My Mother and Mother in law have been supportive. I suppose I'm really just hurt about my wife's indifference. She had plenty of criticism over the years but only 1/10th the praise.
My husband has been great about this after seeing me lose and gain tons over the years. He even gave up wine as I wasn't having any and we both decided it's something we don't have to add back.
I asked my grown daughter why she hadn't said anything about my loss. She said all her life (35 years) she remembers me being on a diet and losing and gaining. So she said she has never said anything about my gaining and thought it best not to say anything when I was losing because I would feel bad when I regained it. So years of experience has told her it's best to keep her mouth shut.
In my case the silence from a spouse would really spur me on to prove I was right in the first place. ( Of course I always am )
You will do this!
I meant to ask. Do your kids know you plan to go to Disney when you reach your goal? That would give you a guaranteed cheering section!
My DH is very supportive but he doesn't give out compliments. Ever. I get all dolled up and he never says anything. Sometimes I think he barely notices me. Maybe I should try walking around the house with a diaper on my head. I bet he would notice that. LOL. Other than making no comments about my appearance either way, he's very supportive and generous. My family in general is great, but they too have seen umpteen million diets. They aren't sure what to say anymore. That's ok. I'll be picking up dropped jaws off the floor by Christmas!! GO US!!!
My DH is very supportive but he doesn't give out compliments. Ever. I get all dolled up and he never says anything. Sometimes I think he barely notices me. Maybe I should try walking around the house with a diaper on my head. I bet he would notice that. LOL. Other than making no comments about my appearance either way, he's very supportive and generous. My family in general is great, but they too have seen umpteen million diets. They aren't sure what to say anymore. That's ok. I'll be picking up dropped jaws off the floor by Christmas!! GO US!!!
Compliments is for dating bwahaha....if he isnt complimenting you, your doing fine. When he doesnt like something, he'll let you know lol. Its a guy thing, we often take our most important relationship for granted. If we start bringing flowers home and complimenting now you will assume we have done something wrong....
I went out to a party last night and wore clothes that fit, make-up etc.. and had so many comments I was a little embarrassed. But it did feel good and so many people in our community were rooting for me! I just didn't really feel like talking weight loss all night.
DH and I are going to his sister's wedding at the end of June and I haven't mentioned diet at all so it will be a surprise. Luckily, all of my family is very supportive.
I agree though that sometimes people do not know what to say and even have to admit that when I was at my heaviest and feeling total dispair, I felt resentful of people who all of a sudden made it look easy. Hopefully I was never hurtful but I probably was.
Hang in there, you look amazing and we all have each other! This forum has been so helpful and I think has contributed to my success!
Luckily I've had a lot of support from most of my family (my mom is on IP and my brother is losing weight on his own plan) BUT my dad (who always means well) grates on my nerves....
If someone comments on my weight loss and asks what I'm doing, I'll be mid explanation and he jumps in with "Well all you really have to do is cut out the white stuff and just eat lean meats and fruits and you'll have the same results. I do it all the time and it's so much easier". WTF dad!? I know he doesn't think it's rude, but it pisses me off SO much and he doesn't understand when I tell him I wish he'd shut up. He thinks he's "helping" people because he's giving them other options.
I have a friend like that. He is concerned and has given me pep talks a dozen or more times about loosing weight over the years. He also thinks he is an expert on most things. He is pretty smart but... he is so freaking negative I don't spend much time around him any more. I've pointed out the negativity dozens of times, it's just exhausting.
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Originally Posted by mompattie
My DH is very supportive but he doesn't give out compliments. Ever. I get all dolled up and he never says anything. Sometimes I think he barely notices me. Maybe I should try walking around the house with a diaper on my head. I bet he would notice that. LOL. Other than making no comments about my appearance either way, he's very supportive and generous. My family in general is great, but they too have seen umpteen million diets. They aren't sure what to say anymore. That's ok. I'll be picking up dropped jaws off the floor by Christmas!! GO US!!!
I have not told my brother, he lives on the left coast sooo I am seeing him, my sister in law and neice after about two years over the 4th of July. That's part of why I want to hit 100# lost by then. We email and text and call each other once in a while but he is not on FB so I don't think he knows about my WL.
Quote:
Originally Posted by salmongirl
I went out to a party last night and wore clothes that fit, make-up etc.. and had so many comments I was a little embarrassed. But it did feel good and so many people in our community were rooting for me! I just didn't really feel like talking weight loss all night.
DH and I are going to his sister's wedding at the end of June and I haven't mentioned diet at all so it will be a surprise. Luckily, all of my family is very supportive.
I agree though that sometimes people do not know what to say and even have to admit that when I was at my heaviest and feeling total dispair, I felt resentful of people who all of a sudden made it look easy. Hopefully I was never hurtful but I probably was.
Hang in there, you look amazing and we all have each other! This forum has been so helpful and I think has contributed to my success!
Compliments is for dating bwahaha....if he isnt complimenting you, your doing fine. When he doesnt like something, he'll let you know lol. Its a guy thing, we often take our most important relationship for granted. If we start bringing flowers home and complimenting now you will assume we have done something wrong....
Thanks for the advice. Good to know. So things are awesome then when he ignores me! LMAO!! I guess that's why us girls have our girlfriends for talky talky stuff eh? Thanks!!
Thanks for the advice. Good to know. So things are awesome then when he ignores me! LMAO!! I guess that's why us girls have our girlfriends for talky talky stuff eh? Thanks!!
We arent ingoring you...just not interested lol
Yes you need your girlfriends cause we couldnt give a crap about what the Kardashian whores are up to, who got a rose on the bachelor, whos leading the amazing race, or what Oprah and Oz are up to....
We want to know only a few important things...whats for supper, are the kids still alive, and are ya horny! And maybe, can i get a new truck haha
Go away for a week and you will see how he handles it lol. We cant do chit on our own...and would likely starve not cause we cant cook, but we will run out of dishes lol
Yes you need your girlfriends cause we couldnt give a crap about what the Kardashian whores are up to, who got a rose on the bachelor, whos leading the amazing race, or what Oprah and Oz are up to....
We want to know only a few important things...whats for supper, are the kids still alive, and are ya horny! And maybe, can i get a new truck haha
Go away for a week and you will see how he handles it lol. We cant do chit on our own...and would likely starve not cause we cant cook, but we will run out of dishes lol
This is total fabulous stuff!!! You are right, DH is on a need to know basis on that stuff you said you're sooooo right!! Soooooo right on the need to know stuff!!! You guys are unique creatures, and yes, can't do chit without us! But we love ya!! Thanks for the Sunday morning belly laugh!!
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