Self sabotage
 

Has anyone else ever felt like they can make themselves fail. For some reason,whenever I am successfully dieting, I start getting more craving, looking for a way out of the diet. Anyone know of any good strategies for this or any good books

The only suggestion I have comes from my past life as a social worker. You need to seriously look at why you start sabotaging yourself. Are you afraid of the "new you"? Are you hiding from something else? Two books that I love are "The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution", by Dr. Phil, and "Shrink Yourself" by Dr. Gould. They both tackle those emotional barriers in their books. "Shrink Yourself" was a huge eye opener for me. Good luck to you on your journey! <3

Thanks so much

Ahh, lots of good stuff out there. I am sure others will be by to share some books and resources. But, just for now, before you go to the land of sabotage, try and catch yourself before you do it. Sometimes that awareness piece alone is enough to stop you from a behavior you may soon regret. And then if you have a moment before you act on an impulse or urge, ask yourself why? It's hard to get the answers when you are calm or centered or feeling good. You don't know. You don't know why you do what you do. Or you don't know why you can't stop it. Some get clarity when calm but putting it into action under duress is another thing.

Let me just throw this out because a lot of us suffer from this...fear of success.

Keep reminding yourself of your final goal. Write your goals on paper and post them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge and any place you look at daily. Constant reminders may help you to remain focused on your goal! :) Good luck!

I sure can identify with all that has been said. I think there was some fear of failing or succeeding, fear that I didn't deserve to be svelte, beautiful, ravishing...all that good stuff. After a lifetime of taunting from others and self-taunting, it is a hard habit to recognize and stop, but it can be done. It seemed to rear its ugly head at different times, like when I started the diet, when I was going to a wedding where I hadn't seen some people in years and I clearly looked different (higher or lower weight as the case may be), and when I got closer to my goal weight. I became afraid that I would screw up all this hard work.

So now, through the phase-out process and not losing control, I am starting to deeply believe that I really can do this and enjoy the heck out of it too! The past is gone. Somebody here has a bi-line that I really like - 'when the past calls, I don't answer - it has nothing new to say.' (to paraphrase) We can ALL start over.

Good luck in your journeys!

hi - me! me!

i know i do it. cpl that with hanging on WAY after i should've cut bait and you can tell i just have a party life.

but no - i've been slim twice and both times ended in disaster. i can't handle the social end of it. i like being obese - i get away with a **** of a lot more.

I think fear of succeeding is more the problem. Not sure why as that seems strange. Maybe I am not sure who I will be if I am thinner. I have used my weight as a barrier to trying new things for a long time

yep, yep...I can identify with that. open your heart to a whole new world of possibilities!

by the way, I love your photo - I'm a big fan of 'Wallace and Grommit' - he likes CHEESE ! ;)

I use my weight as a barrier to avoid dating!

Yep that is the big one for me too

Ohhhh to feel your pain...
Long story short.. Earlier this week, the hubby and I were desperately trying to come up with something different for dinner. In a way, I was really wanting a cheat, without wanting a cheat. Does that make sense?? Thank goodness for my hubby's sound mind, he talked me down from the ledge. We opted for grilled chicken and even tried the cauliflower potatoes.. Although I think I should have cooked them longer, it wasn't bad.. Will just take some getting used to...

Are you losing weight for you and you alone? This is the first diet where I really did it for me. It was as much about health as it was about getting thinner. When it was the right time and the right reasons, something clicked. I was willing to do whatever it took. And I stuck with it.

Good point. I started it because it gave me hope for a future, which was not looking good at that point due to my weight and inability to exercise. I kept hearing "I want my life back" in my head over and over and that drove me. The first time I did the self-sabotage was towards the end of Phase 1, when the more I tried not to, the more I craved some blanched almonds, so I ended up doing just what I did not want to do. Granted, it was not chocolate cake, but the loss of control bothered me. Eventually, I came to see that my body was trying to tell me it was getting close to my phase out time, that it was ready. It is still a continual challenge to listen, think and choose when one is in the frenzy of a craving...

After 59 years in this body, I still don't hear it or see it, at times...

Wow it is nice to hear that other people have some of these issues. Sometimes I just feel crazy. One of my biggest concerns about being successful is how I will respond to looking different. I don,'t like attention. How do you guys handle it. Was it hard to get used to.. Do you feel like the same person?