This mental journey we are on...
 

As I sat here this morning, writing in my journal, I had a few thoughts worth bringing up, as I'm sure you all can identify.

Yesterday, after getting good lab tests with the doc, then trying on size 10 pants and finding they fit, I was so deliriously happy! I was also exhausted beyond belief, as I've been all this week on Phase 3, at least more exhausted than my usual. That makes me mentally vulnerable.

When I got home and started my dinner salad, I found myself putting alot of lettuce in, just to finish up the head. Freebee, right? It really was too much, but I ate it anyway. Later on, I had some sugar-free jello, after I had my popsicles made from IP drinks. I wasn't even hungry at that point, but I love the tart flavor of jello, so I ate it.

It must be a lesson we learn over and over, because of course, I know that being stressed or in pain has made me eat to escape, but so can being happy! Even though what I ate was not chocolate cake, it is the mental process I want to change. I want to find other things to reward myself with when I'm happy or have accomplished something good. I could have played my dulcimer or sewed something or written a new song, but I reverted to my old standby - food.

So that's my goal this coming week, to try and be more cognizant of my thoughts and motivations so that I never, ever go back to what life was a year ago...

Great post! I agree with you. I am struggling with binge eating and I was wondering what stress in my life makes me eat like this. Of course, just being happy makes me eat so there you go... I have a lot of issues to work on. Good luck on your journey.

What a great post, Sewmam. Like you said, it's not just the negative in my life that I respond to with eating -- I eat when I'm happy, too, and goodness knows my first thought if I'm looking to reward myself is a dinner out! And when my girlfriends and I get together, it's over coffee or dinner; socializing equals food for me.

I'm guessing emotional eating is something most of us struggle with and it's definitely something that we need to get figured out or at least be aware of. (Or else we'll be back on IP a year after reaching our goal weights.) I'm also trying very hard to stop always associating food with hanging out with my friends; we don't need to be eating to spend time together but it's just so engrained, I guess, that it's very hard.

Those, I think, are the things I most need to work on during the next months. For me, keeping a journal helps but I'm curious how other people might be dealing with this stuff?

Good question! I need to figure out how to deal with it better myself. I am an emotional eater, have binged somewhat in the past. I can tell if I get stressed out, I will eat, even if I am not hungry. I have been really focusing on how good I have been feeling on IP and the losses I have seen to try to detour me from having those behaviors but it is a DAILY struggle!! I have to keep some things out of the house because I know they are triggers for me. I haven't thought of journaling because I am not sure about the time. I was hoping since the weather would be getting better we could go outside and when I am feeling that way, use exercise to curb it.

Other ideas?:cupgold:Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I don't know yet if it will be helpful but I bought the book The Beck Diet Solution to help with the self-sabotaging behavior. It was recommended by an IPer on here just can't remember where I saw it. Anyway, I got the book yesterday and have only made it through a few pages so far. The Amazon reviews are awesome. It is not diet, just a tool to help you diet successfully.

I know where you are coming from. I am doing phase 2. I had hoped to stay below 130 but after the first week on phase 2 I am up a pound to 130 again today. So for a moment I was really down. But this is another stage where we really need to think about the changes we are making. I think my issue is that most days I had chicken twice and was probably too liberal with the salt shaker in cooking.

But your 'slipup" with the lettuce to me would be a positive thing. The evening meal is tough as we are usually exhausted. It is very easy to grap something already made, usually bad for us food. But a very smart habit to have developed is to start with a salad, the more lettuce the better. So to me that was a positive habit kicking in. Much better for you to eat the potentially leftover lettuce rather than letting it go to waste. It is good for you.
I hear you on the jello though. That is old habits trying to sneak back in.

I am wondering about you being exhausted on phase 3. Did you add wheat back with your breakfast. Wheat totally drains me. I didn't know know what it was like to have energy until I stopped eating wheat years ago.

Good luck to everyone wwhatever part of this journey we are on.

Pat

Hi I have also read the book " the brain that changes itself". It is kinda sciency but great hope for changing old patterns. I also have a counselor who specializes in food addiction

I may have celiac disease...don't know. My inflammation has been much less on this diet. There is still some gluten in it, but certainly not as much as I would have had before. Time will tell, as I start adding more things to my diet...

The other possibility for the fatigue is hormone levels, like thryoid or testosterone, since I'm in menopause, but my doc said to wait until my body stabilizes a few months, then we'll check them.

I've had rheumatoid arthritis since I was 14, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue for at least 14 years, so my fatigue now could just be part of that. I had hoped it would go away with the diet, but it didn't. Doc says wait, it still may.

I will look for both of those books. Thanks. I kinda like the idea of the brain that changes itself! Nothing is written in stone...

Journaling really helps me. Even if I never read it again, I type on my little laptop anything that I want to and it helps me figure out things.

One more thing...I'm not trying to beat myself up for the lettuce or sugar-free jello (not IP). At least they are not chocolate cake! It was the mental process and loss of conscious control that at least deserves some thought... :o)

ITA with all the above posts. So well written, they express my thoughts better than I could have.

I'm trying to start thinking of food as FUEL for my body, not a reward, or something I do (eat) because it's what I usually do in context - eating ((and drinking!!)) while socializing is a great example.

I also heard an interesting story on NPR a while ago about habits and retraining the brain. Hopefully my time on IP will not only give my pancreas a rest, but also allow my brain to develop new patterns as well.

This diet doesn't just reshape your body, it reshapes your life. I look at my trashed kitchen often thinking about how clean it used to be. That was because we ate out all the time and did not use it. But now, that has been cut out so we are having to quickly make food when we come home hungry. And that's okay. It's just very new to me.

I think we release things as we release the fat. Not sure how else to express it except that awareness seems to grow. We shrink but grow more aware. Some days these insights are scary. Sometimes they are interesting.

I went to see an acucpuncturist, who thankfully was supportive of the changes I have made in my life. She gave me a sheet and on it were things like drinking lots of water, eating veggies, excercise and all those good things we are supposed to do. Basically, this diet.That sheet would have overwhelmed me a few months ago but now I was like, check, check. check, I was already doing most of those things.

So, I thought time to work on the rest.

Here are a few:
Honor your personal needs as well as those of others
Look for every opportunity to express and receive love and enjoy yourself.
Mediate
Move your body.
Clean and organize your house.

The last 3 I paraphrased. Those are also the ones I need to work on the most.

We, all of us, have come so far on this diet.

I had extreme fatigue to the point that I had to take a year off from work. The culprits for me were thyroid and Vit D (I was at 11...should have been between 55 and 75 if I remember correctly).

Try adding 5,000iu's of Vit D3 daily and see if that helps. You can get that in one pill....see link below for my favorite supplier.
http://store.ourhealthcoop.com/D3_p/d5.htm

I take 10,000iu's daily on my dr's recommendation, but I wouldn't do that without blood work. FYI...toxicity is at 40,000iu's daily so don't worry about 5,000iu's being too high. :)

Mental journey is right! Today I went shopping and I wanted so bad to be in a size 14, no go! I keep hearing in my head what a fat cow you still are....
Losing 23 lbs and still a fat cow. I know I should be saying WOW 23 lbs gone and you are in a size 16....2 sizes down. Nothing I have fits but I am still not seeing a smaller me. Why do we torture ourselves?

This is something I stress about.

Thanks -I was tested for D a couple years back and was low, so I've been taking 2000 units/day. I'll try increasing it. I've got the pills that also have the K vitamin, which is supposed to help absorption of D.