I just saw this article on Dr. Oz's new website called YouBeauty, and immediately thought of this thread.

Do You Think Fat?
Try changing your brain habits to better your body image and live healthier.

http://www.youbeauty.com/body-fitness/columns/the-beauty-inside/do-you-think-fat?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=post&utm_campai gn=FB%2B-%2B12%3A30pm%2B-%2Bsun%2B-%2B2%2F26%2F12%2B-%2Bdo%2Byou%2Bthink%2Byou're%2Bfat

Thanks for posting, bethanym - so worth reading! (I'm going to have to poke around the site and see what else I can find!)

I especially liked this part:

Besides influencing our own feelings, our self-talk can impact others. This month’s YouBeauty quiz focuses on the practice of fat talk, which undermines individual self-esteem, while masquerading as a bonding experience. Groups of friends can change their shared self-talk to promote each other’s body comfort. The key is to agree to make only positive and productive comments about their own weight and appearance, and to focus less on appearance-based comments in general. Bonding can be based on supporting each other in self-esteem and overall wellness—not on group self-bashing rituals.

That's something I can totally relate to and something my friends and I have really been trying to work on, too. AND it's something I really like about this place: everyone is so supportive and there's so much emphasis on the positive which is something we don't always get elsewhere. Wonderful.

That is so funny that someone else is having the pain in the butt too! I think that is why lean people are so much more active. It hurts to sit too long without all that padding.:D. But you are so lucky to have the few extra inches. My daughter is 5'4" and weighs 130 also. She looks fantastic. Those few inches make a big difference.

Re the buying clothes and putting them away. I did that too and went right past them. Now I'm bagging up just about everything in my closet including stuff I never wore. Luckily I only bought a few things because it was a good bargain, but still a waste.

What a difference from grabbing whatever will fit from your closet for years to now thinking: I can't wear that, too big in the waist, or too much material left over in the back . You have too learn to really look in the mirror and process what you see rather than what you expect to see. Otherwise your clothes are flapping around you all day.

Pat

I can really relate to all of this. When people tell me how awesome I look I need to practice just saying thank you. Sometimes I say " I'm working on it". Other times I say "I've got a long way to go". Still other times I want to yell "why? Did I look like c$$p before?". Hard to believe I am smaller than I was. Also got rid of the big clothes. That helped. Still looking the thru the Lane Bryant catalog each time it comes. Not getting it that I don't need to shop there anymore.

However I did catch a wolf whistle from a random stranger two weeks ago. It has been yrs if not decades since that happened Lol.

LMAO at "Pain in the Butt." I have that too. I had no idea I would lose that padding. LOL!

I seem to be going back to my older, softer larger clothes. I guess I know them better and I am more comfortable in them. My old sweatpants are so much more comfortable than my new ones and I think I am enjoying all this space in my clothes. So, I might be going back and forth until I transition fully into my newer sizes, or I get rid of the old ones and have no choice. One day my closet is going to look so large.

bethanym, absolutely LOVE that article and that whole site. Bookmarked it. It made so much sense.

Lakewood, I really really appreciated what you wrote here. How we perceive ourselves vs. how others perceives us is really important and in many of us, there appears to be a disconnect. I know when I was younger, I was very shy and s/w awkward so I hid. It was really helpful to look at those pictures on that site to see what others looked like as I have some pictures of what I looked like back then but they don't fully show me because I was always in baggy clothes. Yes, I was probably petite but what you saw was lots and lot of material. Over time I got better and truth be told I wore my tightest and most fitted clothes once I was heavier. It was a combination of being more comfortable in my more mature body and well that was how things fit unless I went a size or two up.

I think if society or some sort of internal message we created tells us who we are and how we should be treated and what we look like, we start to believe it and then act the part. One of the things I most enjoy watching and reading on this board is seeing just how confident women become as the pounds come off, the inches move in and and the sizes reflect back to us someone we like seeing, someone we enjoy looking at.

Transitions take a long time. Because this is a rapid weight loss diet, our physical changes are manifested much, much more rapidly than our mental/emotional changes. That takes a while and it does not happen overnight.

I think issues of a more serious or intense nature do need to be taken up with a counselor as I question the general skill levels of some of our coaches. I shouldn't rag on all but some stump me. There are different reasons some women put on a lot of weight and some women lose too much weight. Some have to do with eating and stress and some are of a more serious nature with deep underlying issues, possibly traced back a long time in one's life.

I am glad you brought this up because fat sometimes serves as well, protection, a protective layer in between the person and what they choose to deal with and what they do not. Again, too heavy for a forum like this but certainly wise to share with a trained counselor. As layers start to leave, emotions could rise up because there's you. There's not as much in between anymore.

I sat on my response a bit because I was not sure how to word what I wanted to share but you triggered some thoughts in me so this response, though not entirely directed at you. Moreso thoughts triggered by what you wrote. There's a spectrum going from not being quite used to how much weight you lost to more serious disorders which could benefit from advanced aid. I just hope that people can recognize where they may fall on the spectrum to seek out the assistance they may need. Some of us may need to just keep trying out the appropriately sized clothes until we get used it. Some may have a little more reconciling to do.

I think it's important to take good care of ourselves and try to catch things as they come along. Share with a coach if you have a good one or go beyond if you see fit.

I follow them on Facebook and get notified when they post something new. They have definitely had some great articles....glad you liked it!