I have a great friend of 16 years coming to visit in 2 weeks, who is a home gourmet cook, a huge foodie and loves to drink. We have always had a girls weekend every time we see each other, going to interesting new restaurants or trying anything unique we can find. Hedonistic indulgence has been the name of the game.
I really, REALLY don't want to go off protocol...but I know she will be disappointed if I don't eat off plan or at least share some things with he when we are out. Normally, I'd just say "I can't"... but she has inoperable lung cancer, is in treatment, and is flying all the way up here to see me. I don't know how much time we have left. And I really don't want to disappoint her.
If I was to eat some things for the 3 days she's here... what would be the least bad? Should I just stick to things that would pass "Atkins", so I don't slip out of ketosis?
I have a great friend of 16 years coming to visit in 2 weeks, who is a home gourmet cook, a huge foodie and loves to drink. We have always had a girls weekend every time we see each other, going to interesting new restaurants or trying anything unique we can find. Hedonistic indulgence has been the name of the game.
I really, REALLY don't want to go off protocol...but I know she will be disappointed if I don't eat off plan or at least share some things with he when we are out. Normally, I'd just say "I can't"... but she has inoperable lung cancer, is in treatment, and is flying all the way up here to see me. I don't know how much time we have left. And I really don't want to disappoint her.
If I was to eat some things for the 3 days she's here... what would be the least bad? Should I just stick to things that would pass "Atkins", so I don't slip out of ketosis?
I really need advice!!!
wow! reading this post brought me so much conflict! I can only imagine what you are going through! I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That is such an emotional place to be in for you and her. I am glad she has the strength and energy to come and see you. I truly wish you both the best of visits.
My first thought when I read this was... NO, don't. Your health and future is important too. And, then, the humane part of me said, Look what you've done. Nearly 100 pound gone. Still committed to going the long haul to get what you want, a healthier you.
Here is where my thoughts have settled. It may be on the hedonistic or self serving side but, be with your friend. Life is short and memories sometimes come around once. Sometimes, when a person is very ill and facing a less than perfect outcome, there is a strong set of emotions to address loss even before that time ever happens IF it ever happens. I can't tell for sure by your post and maybe I read it wrong (forgive me if I did) but if your friend has an inoperable tumor that could be fatal, DON'T let what time you have with her slip by. Rejoice with her in a friendship and life you share. You will easily, in 3 days get back to the diet, you may never get back a special time with your. FOR ME, I wouldn't want the regret and the wondering.
That said, if she is this good a friend, she knows what you have been going through and she knows why and is proud of you. TALK with her. Tell her you know things have changed in your diet and you want to still enjoy the visit. Maybe you think she has an expectation that she doesn't? If you are right, suggest to her a compromise of fewer more sensible hedonistic moments? A perfect steak has its hedonistic qualities. Look at making choices that focus on limiting the carbs, it will reduce the time back into ketosis. It will likely cause you to lose weight more slowly. It is a choice and consequence you have to be willing to live with.
Just realize, stepping away from the program will take you out of ketosis. It will slow the changes happening for your body. It may or may not be to the benefit of your body.
In the end, it is your choice. You need to be able to live with the decisions both to step off the plan for a moment AND how you lived this time with your friend.
Speaking from my heart and as a person who has lost very dear friends too soon, sometimes, you don't get a chance to do it the way you wish you had.
Live life with your friend. Regret is sometimes hard to swallow and brings its own baggage.
Add ice cream to list, 3 to 4 tea spoons. I am on a bender this weekend. Never ever thought I would look at food emotionally but I guess I do. I like to think I ate these things cause I simply craved them but I think it is more complicated than that.
Cherry gacia knows what am talking about.
Last edited by pitakitten; 07-17-2010 at 06:32 PM.
wow! reading this post brought me so much conflict! I can only imagine what you are going through! I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That is such an emotional place to be in for you and her. I am glad she has the strength and energy to come and see you. I truly wish you both the best of visits.
My first thought when I read this was... NO, don't. Your health and future is important too. And, then, the humane part of me said, Look what you've done. Nearly 100 pound gone. Still committed to going the long haul to get what you want, a healthier you.
Here is where my thoughts have settled. It may be on the hedonistic or self serving side but, be with your friend. Life is short and memories sometimes come around once. Sometimes, when a person is very ill and facing a less than perfect outcome, there is a strong set of emotions to address loss even before that time ever happens IF it ever happens. I can't tell for sure by your post and maybe I read it wrong (forgive me if I did) but if your friend has an inoperable tumor that could be fatal, DON'T let what time you have with her slip by. Rejoice with her in a friendship and life you share. You will easily, in 3 days get back to the diet, you may never get back a special time with your. FOR ME, I wouldn't want the regret and the wondering.
That said, if she is this good a friend, she knows what you have been going through and she knows why and is proud of you. TALK with her. Tell her you know things have changed in your diet and you want to still enjoy the visit. Maybe you think she has an expectation that she doesn't? If you are right, suggest to her a compromise of fewer more sensible hedonistic moments? A perfect steak has its hedonistic qualities. Look at making choices that focus on limiting the carbs, it will reduce the time back into ketosis. It will likely cause you to lose weight more slowly. It is a choice and consequence you have to be willing to live with.
Just realize, stepping away from the program will take you out of ketosis. It will slow the changes happening for your body. It may or may not be to the benefit of your body.
In the end, it is your choice. You need to be able to live with the decisions both to step off the plan for a moment AND how you lived this time with your friend.
Speaking from my heart and as a person who has lost very dear friends too soon, sometimes, you don't get a chance to do it the way you wish you had.
Live life with your friend. Regret is sometimes hard to swallow and brings its own baggage.
Thank you, Carla, for your good advice. I *am* committed to getting healthy, and losing weight. I'm *not* at the end of my journey yet. I will talk with her, and she'll be able to see the change (I've lost almost 50 pounds since I saw her last), so I think that if I just am not overly strict, I can get away with nibbling here and there. I can always save the left overs for my husband, who will be back 2 days later.
She is going to die of this tumor. She's had to have it debulked 2 times, because it blocked her airways and collapsed a lung. She is allergic to the best chemo, so they have to do stop-gap. She has lost all her hair, and (last time I saw her in April) had sores coming up on her skin from being "burned from the inside." I will do what it takes to make her happy, and I think that if I just go where she wants, I can find something that I can eat at least part of. And I've been wanting to have a drink, and I love vodka, so I guess that might be something to look forward to.
I'm just a bit scared... because in the past, I've gone on trips where I was "just going to take a weekend/week off"... and never got back on the wagon. And regained. Everything, occasionally plus.
i ate that teeny tiny piece of pizza with zucchini, artichoke hearts, baby spinach, mushrooms and tomatoes-got completely stuffed and cannot stop thinking about the other 7 pieces in the fridge. willpower to the rescue!!!!!! even harder because i know that my husband will never touch it, he's a pepperoni and BACON kind of guy, must find someone to give this scrumdidally-umptious pizza to. neighbors are having a bbq right now and am feeling just crazy enough to go and offer it to them
Much much better than mine. My intake today: one vanilla shake, one salad with turkey, one salami sandwich, half a pint of ice cream. I am miserable. Tomorrow? Dinner at friends and they are making paella plus sangria, you do the math.
now i am craving escargot...i had it in france a few years back and it was completely amazing in the paella dish i was served. can you even BUY snails at a grocery store or market......??
i can't even tell you how wonderful this pizza was. it's still in the fridge and calling my name as we speak.
now i am craving escargot...i had it in france a few years back and it was completely amazing in the paella dish i was served. can you even BUY snails at a grocery store or market......??
i can't even tell you how wonderful this pizza was. it's still in the fridge and calling my name as we speak.
was it cherry garcia again?
Really? I have never had escargot, bet you its really fatty, the way they are all slimy and all I am betting (again) that you could buy in cans for your whole pay check at the whole-paycheck store (ie whole foods).
I really want pizza too. Best is to throw it out if you think no one is going to eat it but you, am serious...after typing this I am going to throw out the ice-cream. Or you can force feed it to your husband and kids for breakfast I hate throwing food out, when there are hungry people out there.
Yes it was cherry garcia; its my favorite there is also another kind in freezer too BUT this had cherries and chocolate in it so I went for this one.
I think I had close to 70 grams of carbs today and lord knows how much fat. I ran out of ketostix but do I really need them?
now i am craving escargot...i had it in france a few years back and it was completely amazing in the paella dish i was served. can you even BUY snails at a grocery store or market......??
i can't even tell you how wonderful this pizza was. it's still in the fridge and calling my name as we speak.
was it cherry garcia again?
I love escargot too, preferably eaten in France. But isn't it really the garlic, melted butter, and french bread to sop it up that one misses? Maybe if you cut the top off the head of garlic,and popped it into the microwave for 2 minutes, and inhaled. . . ? Nah, probably not.
Look at making choices that focus on limiting the carbs, it will reduce the time back into ketosis. It will likely cause you to lose weight more slowly. It is a choice and consequence you have to be willing to live with.
I slept for hours after due to sugar intake. 
I hate throwing food out, when there are hungry people out there. 
