The First Time I've really noticed that I was
fat was sometime during a fitness gram at school. The scale was Around 220 and i was only in 8th Grade. After that, things Just kept becoming more Noticeable. Physical things like, always Finding myself last when Doing cardio in Athletics, and other things such as "Why do people love my friend so much but don't notice me?" These things were too big for me at the time, so i eventually got over it, Not really concerning myself with it. My dad made me do Football In Junior High, Which is probably why the weight never Shot up any more than 220, Even though all i'd do is come home and eat.
Anyway, Near the End of my First year in Highschool We did another one of those Fitness gram things. This time however, I realized what needed to
be done to be loved. I had met a girl a couple weeks back, Shes the daughter of my dads best friend, so they all came over to see us. For the first time I Just could not stop looking and thinking of a girl. Not that i was gay previously, but ive always been sort of introverted with the Exception of that friend. (More on him later)
We talked and talked and when she left All i knew is that I Desperately needed her to Notice me back, in the way that i noticed her.
I Realized that This Weight was of Direct Correlation with being noticed Like that. My Friend Has Been with Countless girls over the years, when he goes anywhere people look at him and no matter what he said when trying to get with a girl, theyd gladly do what he wanted. This was because he is Physically attractive and has always been. By no means do I want that for myself, But I was going to make sure that I'd at least give myself a chance with her.
The Only problem was, She was going to Visit again within a few weeks.
Dammit
I Thought of certain exercises and sometimes I would just do push-ups until i fell asleep. Quickly it was Obvious that none of that would work in time.
Looking online Trying to find diets to compete with the time I managed to sort of Understand the Concept of Calories in Vs Out. Let's say you use 3,000 in a day doing normal bodily processes. Now you eat 1,500. You've just Slowed down that Loss By 50%. That was my Mind then, Eating Really just slows down that loss, and slow is not what I was looking for.
I Stopped eating.
Then I ate.
Then I Stopped.
Rinse and Repeat and Im at 170.
My first Stretch of days without food (After many failed attempts) Was around 4 Days. I began to Notice Bones in my hands casting the slightest shadows, only visible in the right light, but still there. When I got home and talked with everyone, In the midst of conversation My Step-mom sort of looked at me and for the first time just straight up called me "Handsome"
The Slight attention from something I only did for a couple days made me feel amazing, So amazing in fact that I considered the Method a Super Power. Having less Time Before
She Came, I Continued to use this "Power" in small bits. 2 Day stretches sometimes 3. There was a Week that I Was grounded for, So i decided to set a record just because. 6 Days later I'm not hungry, but i eat because im at the Movies with my friend, And when I saw myself In the Bathroom Mirror, I honestly didn't even know that It would make so much of a difference.
I Was Nearly a different Person. On Many occasions my Dad would Question me about My diet, To which I would answer I was eating normally. Aunts, Uncles, Neighbors, and My sister all noticed and Talked. "Daniel Lost So much Weight, Good for him" I was Happy about all that, it lifted me to an esteem higher than its ever been, But I just wanted to See
Her.
Their Family Finally Came, For a Weekend this time. After a while of talking with everyone, they Settled down and watched a movie while Me,
Her, and my sister were in my room. She and my sister Played on the computer for a while. I took Quick snapshots in my mind of her face so that I could observe them under my eye lids. (Im not Some kind of creep, She's just Really Beautiful
)
Eventually My Sister left the room to watch the Movie too and I decided to be on the laptop with her. We talked and she Soon Held my hand...
I did it.
She Liked me Just as i did her. When she left it hurt but I hid my Contact Info in her luggage to make sure We'd talk. It was Obvious that the Weight Loss enabled this. We talked every day and to this day still do.
I know you may think this is All a little Ignorant, Dumb, Self-Destructive, Or whatever else. All very true. Its been a Year and a half now, And I'm 250. This is how i Know it Was Self-Destructive. When I'm unhappy, It's Easy to Use that "Power', But when I'm Happy..I've discovered it actually makes it harder. Since i've been happy all this time I never could stay on track.
You could say that I gained it back because that's what happens after Fasting, But I still Believe that Fasting is a Very Useful tool. Its not For everybody, but it Can work Miracles. Saying that I plan to Reach my biggest Goal and loss yet, and this time maintain it. I Want to be 100 Pounds less and i want to Stay that way. To do this I'm going to fast. I will probably lose her in the next few months due to her going to public school. But if I can compete with The guys over there I have the best chance at keeping her. Another Race Against time, I accept this as my life, But you need to decide whether you Should for yours. Good luck with your personal goals everyone.