General Diet Plans and Questions General diet questions, support for various diet plans other than those listed below.

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Old 09-18-2017, 02:22 PM   #1  
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Default Husband needs way more calories than I do

Let me start off by saying that I love food. Cooking, learning about, and eating great food are some of my favorite things. My husband feels the same way, so we frequently put a lot of effort and love into our meals. We got married about four months ago and didn't live together until then. Everything has been wonderful, and we've had so much fun cooking together and for each other, but I've been gaining weight. I now weigh ten pounds more than I did at the wedding, and I know at least part of it is that he is able to eat so much more than me without gaining weight. He already has a much higher metabolism than me, and he also has a job that has him on his feet for twelve-hour shifts three times a week. He was bringing giant lunches and still losing weight.

I can happily eat low-calorie, veggie-based meals, especially when I use my spiralizer. However, unless I made a ridiculous amount of that food, it wouldn't be nearly enough food for him. I hate the idea of making separate food for him because it's a lot of work to make a bunch of different things, and I also know that it would be hard to be happy with my dinner if I saw him eating something I also wanted but couldn't have. I just don't know how to make food that works for both of us without making a bunch of extra work for myself or making myself unhappy.

Has anyone else on here dealt with this?
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Old 09-18-2017, 02:39 PM   #2  
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My husband and I stopped eating together last year when I got really sick and we now prepare our own meals (my diet is super restricted and we didn't want him to have to live with the bland diet I'm stuck with). But oddly- we have BOTH lost a lot of weight. I'm down about 70 lbs. He's down about 40. He said when I used to cook for him that I'd encourage him to have seconds- and he doesn't do that to himself. Meanwhile, I was eating more too, probably because I'd serve him huge helpings and do the same for me. I now eat much smaller helpings and nearly never have seconds. Leftovers get frozen for a quick meal later.

Try using smaller plates, freeze leftovers immediately in portion sized containers, eat slowly so your stomach and hunger hormones can catch up to one another.
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Old 09-23-2017, 01:04 PM   #3  
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Welcome, Ashley. I think a lot of women struggle with this, I know I do. I had no problem keeping my weight down when I was single. On my own I gravitate to low-fat vegetarian. I only needed to cook for myself, and I just didn't keep certain foods in the house. I think early on in my marriage, my husband mostly went along with how I ate, and then things changed.

I don't have any answers for you, I'm still looking for answers for myself.

I guess, in my case, since I do all the food shopping, meal planning and cooking - I could just eat and cook the way I did when I was single. My husband can eat a larger serving, and if he's still hungry he can raid the kitchen afterwards for snacks or a sandwich...? He says he's willing to do this...but then I feel guilty asking him to eat my way, and I cook fattier fare. I should just value myself more, and realize he isn't really going to starve or suffer. He's a grown man he can forage after dinner if he needs to.

I don't know, I'm still figuring this out. He really does have a greater caloric need than I do, and like you, I don't want to cook extra meals. I'd like
to read how other women/couples handle this myself.

Last edited by Tortie; 09-23-2017 at 01:07 PM.
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Old 09-26-2017, 12:51 AM   #4  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley3496 View Post
Let me start off by saying that I love food. Cooking, learning about, and eating great food are some of my favorite things. My husband feels the same way, so we frequently put a lot of effort and love into our meals. We got married about four months ago and didn't live together until then. Everything has been wonderful, and we've had so much fun cooking together and for each other, but I've been gaining weight. I now weigh ten pounds more than I did at the wedding, and I know at least part of it is that he is able to eat so much more than me without gaining weight. He already has a much higher metabolism than me, and he also has a job that has him on his feet for twelve-hour shifts three times a week. He was bringing giant lunches and still losing weight.

I can happily eat low-calorie, veggie-based meals, especially when I use my spiralizer. However, unless I made a ridiculous amount of that food, it wouldn't be nearly enough food for him. I hate the idea of making separate food for him because it's a lot of work to make a bunch of different things, and I also know that it would be hard to be happy with my dinner if I saw him eating something I also wanted but couldn't have. I just don't know how to make food that works for both of us without making a bunch of extra work for myself or making myself unhappy.

Has anyone else on here dealt with this?
Maybe ask him to cook his own food?
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Old 05-13-2024, 05:07 AM   #5  
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Hey,
Thanks for the suggestion.
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