[lizabeth]

Hi All!

DNW: Hang in there and don't forget to be kind to yourself. When I was greiving I took long walks. Something about walking helped me. I was kind of hypnotized by the sounds of my feet slapping the pavement. Seek out something that gives you a brief interlude from your pain. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

I have been so good... until today. I had to do my parently duty and work at the Bands Chicken BBQ fundraiser. I made 2 apple pies so I had to have a peice with my meal. Then shared an apple dumpling with ice cream with DD at the football game. Its amazing what havoc such innocent looking foods can create to a healthy eating plan!! 700 calories over what I usually consume... Oh well, tommorrow is another day.

Gotta go. The cat is going to help me type if I don't get off and feed him. He's standing on the desk meowing and pawing at my hands.

[DNW]

My Very Dearest Ladies:

Thanks for all the kind words once again. Well the tears are coming just about everyday now...and I know that with great love comes great pain...so I will get through this.

I cleaned out Bob's car yesterday and found mounds of candy wrappers, empty cupcake packages, at least 12 chocolate bars of the variety that you purchase for fundraisers...so they were extra large. I even found a whole matzo...now that was strange! Bob would never let me clean out his car after last year because I found a similar, but small cache, of these items. He said that they were there from a long time ago, and to please not clean his car again as it was his space.

I understand now that my diabetic husband never could get away from his cigarette and food addictions: which were sweets and cheese, and fats. I tried to cook healthy, but you can't be with someone all the time. And nagging him did no good. And you need to know that my husband was only about 20 lbs. overweight when he had his heart attack two weeks ago.

However, I know this from seeing it with my own eyes, enough of the wrong food will kill you in the end. Bob was a nurse and I know he figured that all the heart medicine and insulin would compensate for the cigarettes and fat and sugar...but he was wrong. Medicine only does so much and we have to do the rest.

I am down to 252 now with a total loss of 18 lbs for the year. I am renewing my promise to myself to get healthy, exercise, and get slim to honor myself and to honor my husband who was not able to help himself, or admit he had a problem with food.

I have the same issues my husband had with food, but I knew I had a problem. Bob chose to deny it.

Now I have to move forward and do the right thing for my body and my soul. Food used for anything other than sustenance kills you in the end. The gluttony I enjoy today will come back some day for payment...so I will fill my bank up with loving memories of my husband and care for my body and stay healthy...gluttony will go away empty handed and I know it will always be ready to return another day. When it does, I will remember my husband lying lifeless at my feet, and once again forcefully close the door on my endless appetite and take only what I need and leave the rest.

I apologize for sounding preachy but someone I loved died from too much of the wrong food...Bob is a good example that you fool only yourself when you don't listen to your body.

I love you all...

[brighterdays]

Hi all,

Carol: let those tears flow....it's much better that they come out rather than be bottled up inside. You'll feel much better letting the grief come out.

Quilter: Glad you weathered the storm... it was so scary looking on the TV.

Lizbeth: Sounds like an excellent BBQ!

Faye: The menu planning is what I need! I'm gonna work on that this weekend....great idea!

SEMO: I'm freezing this am when taking the pup out to do her duty.....what is the temp this am? Are we in the low 50's this am? Guess I better watch the weather a bit lately....

Dyan: Welcome back, girl! We've missed you! Hope you and the little one are feeling good these days...good to hear from you.

Cafe: Challenge #27---shopping with sister/daughter/niece and Olive Garden is chosen.....Eggplant Parmigiana was my choice and I didn't eat the spaghetti that went with it but ate the salad and 1/2 the bread stick. I think I did okay...especially since the mall smelled of freshly baked cinammon rolls---man, someone is rich with that store! Stayed away from all other sweets/drinks/carbs and shared my pecans (stored in my purse) with all while trying to find a restaurant. South Beach diet rules!

Haven't weighed this am but walked for about 9 hours yesterday shopping so I'm sure I haven't gained---weighed in at 174# yesterday am.

Jello: I'm a bit of a chocolate freak but my weakness has been french fries...tater tots, cheese fries, waffle fries, etc. I like a bit of chocolate esp. when it's time for Aunt Flo to visit.

Take care all and hello to all I missed. Ms. Huntress--hope you have a sunny day today!

Bright

[brighterdays]

P.S. Happy Birthday, Faye!!!


Bright

[Jello]

Carol, you are absolutely my hero!! You are so strong and just amazing. And shedding tears for that wonderful husband of yours doesn't make you any less strong. That's about all the words I can conjure up after reading your last post. I want to be just like you. We don't live too far apart and some day I'd like to meet you in person for a real hug!

Of course, you'll be so skinny I probably won't recognize you! Take care of YOU!!!

OK everyone. Let's follow Carol's lead. Let's all get onto that wagon and stay on. Even if we have to hold on for dear life. If we're all on there, it won't be so easy for any one of us to fall off!

I'm going now. Been painting and am finding purple and green on body parts that I don't even want to think about how it got there! Spent yesterday painting too while Rich installed a new toilet. Boy, how excited we were, you'd think we'd been using a hole in the ground before this. Ah, life's little things.

Off to find the hand cleaner...

Faye - HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!! And all that good stuff.

[Dyanm1]

DNW: I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I always remember all the wonderful things that you would say about your wonderful husband. I say......cry girl, cry.....We all need a release!

Jello, Brighter, SEMO, Tiger, Cafe & brighter: I am so glad to see that your all still here!! Has Tiffany been around? Also, have you guys kept up any of the challenges?

I can't wait to have this baby and start some kind of weight loss something. I had an ultrasound on Friday (because the baby is measuring big) and it sounds like I may have to go to insulin AGAIN. Had pregnancy induced diabetes with my last one. I had to check my blood sugar levels 6x a day and inject insulin twice a day......which was very hard for someone with a needle phobia!! I still have to take the 3 hour test to know for sure, but the ultrasound tech told me not to be surprised if I failed. I just missed the 1 hour test, the high is 140 and I tested at 142. UGH!!

Anyway, it's late and I am so very tired. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

TTFN

[QuilterInVA]

Good morning - A lovely day here - the better to see what needs fixed, removed and generally cleaned up. 94% of the people have power back now. Tree removal is lagging behind.

Came in this morning and a virus/worm has attacked one of the computers. What a lovely way to start the week.

Scale was down 3 pounds so didn't do as much damage as I had thought. Back on track today - Phase I Day 1 - and counting.

[SEMO]

Ughhhhhhhhh, it’s Monday already….. I’m only here in body, wish I could win the lottery and live a life of leisure, but guess that requires buying a ticket. Well, in this area I should just be proud to have a job and be able to work. Okay, I’m all better now.

DNW, I’ve thought of you all weekend. I really can’t imagine how hard this is and know that it gets harder before it gets easier. Time takes care of a lot of our pain and you have so many fond memories of your beloved DN. Thanks for sharing so many of those wonderful times with us, I really feel that we knew him too. You know that we are here to lean on anytime. Try and do at least one thing for yourself each day and make that a priority.

Dyanm, GIRL, glad your back, so did you make that move? Hope that you get a good report on your test. I missed all your stories about the kiddies.

Bright, I’m freezing my buns off, well on second thought, that might be a good thing. Sounds as if you shopped until you dropped too.

Faye, Happy Birthday, and didn’t the Cubs win just for you, that’s the story I heard on the news.

Tig, where are you, we haven’t heard from you in a while. With the kids in school you should have some time for us.

Jello, Sounds as if everything is back to normal. Hey, I get excited about inside plumbing too. Ha

Quilter, Surly to goodness, your run of bad luck will be over with your latest incident. A person can only take so much. Saw on the news about all the damage in your area, very glad that it didn’t get inside your house.

Lizabeth, one slip up will not destroy you, just jump right back up and don’t look back.

Still doing T-Tapp, and I am sore! I’ve dropped back to every other day now and doing some other type of exercise on my off days, hope this keeps me from crashing and burning. Girls, gotta get payroll done.

[Tigerlily]

Hi.
Semo, I've been keeping up on my reading. Just not feeling very "posty" lately.
Wondering why the longest I can stick to any one plan seems to be two weeks. Short attention span.
On the up side, my DH actually mentioned that he would like to start some kind of exercise. This coming from "I'm on my feet all day" and Mr Been Skinny all his life. I hope something comes of it, because that would do wonders for me. He actually confessed to doing some pushups in the bathroom. Wish I could have seen that.
Dyanm, nice to see you pop'n in. Do you know if your having a boy or a girl yet? Name all picked out? That's great you haven't gained weight with the pregnency.

Hey to everyone else Laundry is call'n my name.

[gma22]

Hey gals, I am back home and don't ya know we are dancing on the ceiling at this house since our CUBBIE BEARS won their division championship! As for my trip, it was spectacular. Got into Chicago around 1 AM and slept until around 9. Went looking for Wrigley Field, found it and Harry Caray's, then we went to the museum, I got to feeling bad (TOM decided to rise up) so we decided to go out to their big mall, got lost in downtown Chicago at lunchtime (UGH WHAT A MESS, but guess who was driving and wouldn't stop to ask for directions until we were almost out of gas?) and 3 hours later instead of lunch, we ate ate dinner at the CHEESECAKE FACTORY (need I say more) and came back to the hotel in a driving rain storm. Saturday, we skipped the ZOO because it was really cold and wet, drove over to Indiana instead to see our son and give him the extra CUBS ticket we had (they were scalping them for $500 each and we paid $20) and he was going to try and sell it, spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with my oldest sister and her husband and went to the big Amish restaurant called Das Essenhaus and drove back to Chicago getting back to the hotel about 10. My sister bought me a baseball mit and glove picture frame for a pic of Thomas, a book I have already read (didn't tell her that though) and a beautiful fall candle in a stand. Sunday was "I TURN 50" day and GIRLIES it was so cold it would have frozen your boobies right off! Because the CUBS played a doubleheader on Sat and won the division title, Sunday's game didn't count for anything, but the WGN announcer and former CUBS player, Ron Santo was having his number retired. The game was at 1:20 and the ceremony at 12:30 but I was sitting on the bed naked having taken my shower at 9:30 am and saw on WGN's news that there were 3000 people at the stadium so we rushed around and left. The wind blew ferociously and it was about 50 so it was so cold. I had taken a blanket, our son, his fiance, her friend and the friend's boyfriend and mother (who got the extra ticket, which was fine with us) all got there around 12:30 and we just had a great time. Jay bought his dad a CUBS hat, I bought Thomas this big soft stuffed baseball that said Chicago Cubs on it and a bat (his mom will kill me!) and the first 10,000 ladies got this cute little ceramic bear wearing a CUBS uniform and Ryne Sandburg's # on it. Also, my son, unknown to me had submitted a guest card and they announced my birthday on WGN radio AND TV on Sunday which was really special. We left early since the game didn't count and went back to the hotel and changed into dressier clothes. GIRLS I BOUGHT A PAIR OF 2 INCH HIGH DRESS MULES (SHOES) AND LOOKED HOT HOT HOT! Made me 5'9"! I haven't worn heels in a longggggg time. Dinner at Harry Caray's was fabulous, the food was exquisite though really expensive, our son paid for our dinner, but we bought a bottle of champagne and toasted their engagement (my future dil's friends came too). The two of them bought me the most beautiful jewelry box, an assortment of Bath and Body products in my favorite scent, Cotton Blossom, a PAIR OF YELLOW DIAMOND earrings, and this pewter "prayer box" necklace. It is this tiny tiny box that you can open like a locket and you insert a prayer into it that you want answered. Other than my period starting and having a mess driving home today, it was just an amazing weekend.

Oh and guess what? I got a letter in the mail and an e-mail while I was gone from the chairman of the poetry contest and I won a spot in their new poetry book. They only choose 200 entries out of the thousands they get and I was one of them. On top of that, because I was a SEMI-FINALIST I am supposed to submit another original poem and it will be included plus be entered into a $ award contest. I get to submit a biography of myself including what prompted me to write the poem I did etc. What a way to be able to make a statement to help other fat people think about losing weight. My poem was judged by a panel of established modern poets and I was sent a "review" of my poem. On my review was written, EXCELLENT POEM in caps. Maybe I should shoot for exercise next, huh?

CaroL: Honey, keep knashing those teeth, crying those tears and loving those memories. As for the food, I know you are caught in the middle of not caring about what food you consume right now and wanting to be healthy after your husband's death because of the circumstances. Just don't be too hard on yourself. You are probably going to have those EVERYTHING CARB days popping up and don't stress out over giving in to them. This will all fade in time, but it does take time. I actually, smiled when you talked about you husband's garbage can of a car. Maybe you don't realize the adorable glimps you gave us of the may you shared your life with. I even chuckled over the matzo. Sort of like finding a "sour ball" covered in fuzz in an old coat!

Well, ladies, I am pooped and I need to get up early because the whole house is a mess with suitcases, souvenirs and such.

Faye

[Jello]

Whew! How on earth could I follow a post like Ms. Faye's!?!? Sounds like you had a WONDERFUL birthday trip! And Sammy and his Cubbies gave you quite a gift.

Bad news is that I pulled my Cubs jersey out of the closet and it had a big stain on the front. How'd that get there!?!?

Girls, I'm in my second week of working an extra hour or half-hour in the morning for OT. Yeah, a little extra money's nice but I'm not so sure about this. Heck, by the time my "usual crew" is back there having coffee without me, I'm already pounding the keyboard. And it's ... gulp ... cold and dark when I leave for work in the morning!

Yeah, I know, I'm complaining again. I'll shut up. I am getting a lot accomplished anyway.

And speaking of accomplishing a lot, tomorrow's October 1st. Any thoughts about the October challenge we'd discussed earlier? I'm thinking that I'm going to vow to do better on weekends during October. That's when I usually crash and burn.

Uh... well, except for the weekend of October 25. That's when we'll be down in North Carolina for Rich's parents' 50th anniversary! I plan to indulge ... just a little.....

But there's some inspiration in that trip too. About a year and a half ago, Rich's mom found out she has diabetes. Since then, she's lost almost 60 lbs.!!!

Like ... wow!

[SEMO]

Good Morning. Nothing much going on around here today. DS has his third interview at 2:00 today, say a little prayer for him will ya. He needs this job.

Faye, what a wonderful time you had, Ms Hottie! See, told ya turning 50 wouldn't be so bad.

Kind of cloudy here today and cool, all the farmers are scrambling around starting to harvest soybeans and the cotton will be ready before long. Grain trucks running wild on the highways going to the grain elevators and hurrying back to the fields. Oh man, I love the fall.

Jello, start rat holeing that extra money for a winter vacation. That will make it easier.

I have invoices to mail out today so guess I'll get started.

TaTa for now.

[lizabeth]

Good Afternoon Everyone.

Faye: God! My life is so ordinary!!!!! (but I am glad you had a great Bday!) Harry Cary's??? Best food I ever had (on expense account). What great gifts, too. I like the shoes best...

There is nothing like a new pair of shoes to perk a person up. Right after I lost my job, I was BROKE and DEPRESSED and my DD dragged me to Gabes (discount store). There were these stacked soled, red sandals with a strap for the big toe and a strap that held them on... both covered with red beads & sequins. Now ordinarily, these shoes would have seemed gaudy to me, but that day they made me laugh. I spent $2.99 on them and everytime I wear them, I smile. Dumb huh?

Jello: Glad Rich's mother lost so much weight, but that's a wake-up call I can live without. I'm even more inspired to lose...cause that could be me any day. My dad waited until he was diagnosed to take care of himself and by that time he had lost some kidney function and suffered from heart problems. How can I know this and still not have whatever it takes to change it???

Carol: Hang in there, you remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Dyan: Glad to meet you. I hope you can manage your gestational diabetes without the shots. My blood sugar was out of wack with my third child, but I never had to take insulin. What does the Dr. say about walking... I was told exercise and frequent meals would help (and they did). Pregnancy is so wonderful, to have a little person growing inside you. When you deliver, everyone finally gets to meet the baby you already know. Enjoy being "legally fat".

I only lost 1 lb this week, so my band debacle costed me!!! But that was good pie...

See you later

[gma22]

lisabeth: Anything that makes you smile can't be bad. How cool. I was thrilled I could actually walk in the things. They have that new heel that is wide but kind of thin. They are certainly not for going to Target in, but as long as I am not walking all over the place they are great and pretty comfortable actually.

Thought you might like to see us so here is my son, future dil and Jack and I at Harry Caray's. We had this adorable short little Italian waiter that looked just like Adolf Hitler. Poor man, every time he would walk away from the table we would get the giggles, but man he sure knew his stuff!

Faye

[SEMO]

Faye, what a nice looking family! One of these days I'll figure out how to post a picture. First thing I did was scroll down to see if your shoes were in the picture. LOL