I think it is also helpful when you get to the point that you are eating unhealthy foods if you stop to think
1) Does this food make me feel good physically? Or does it make me feel lethargic? Is 1 bite enough?
2) If it doesn't make me feel that good, what would?

And I do certainly crave salads and veggies but more often I also make 'healthier' foods my default. I mean if I don't want to eat them, I absolutely won't but I also know I'll feel crappy if I'm not eating a well rounded diet.

Good point! I'm sure I'll get there someday. It's been so many years of deprivation for me that I'm not going to feel guilty eating what I truly want when I'm hungry. It will all sort itself out I'm sure....

for now, I need to focus on hunger and fullness.....one step at a time, one day at a time....

Yes my hunger drastically waxed and waned in the beginning. And yes I would be like, well.. MAYBE Im hungry and then I would discover that actually I was starving. I think that comes from years of ignoring your body's signals and not listening to it. As time goes on you will get more in touch with what your body needs and wants. Also, try not to be too militant about reaching your perfect level of satisfaction. One of the best things I did was just say 'Im going to eat until Im satisfied and NOT worry about eating too much." I did that for a while and eventually I realized I didn't like the stomach heavy feeling that came with it, so I started trying to stop just a bit sooner. Eventually I was able to and automatically stopping around a 5 or 6. But its a process. You just can't force it. One of the most helpful books I have read on IE besides overcoming Overeating is Beyond Chocolate. They really take Geneen Roth's principles and break them down into how you apply them to real life. And it has helped me realize its ok to take a while to figure this stuff out.





Absolutely. Do this as often and as long as you need to. I just went through finally throwing all my food rules out the window and I didn't eat any vegetables for about 2 weeks. I really needed to let myself eat all the stuff I hadn't let myself have. In some cases I discovered I didn't really like it all that much. In other cases I discovered it made me feel bad. But its so important to explore that for yourself with no judgements. I finally started craving salads and veggies and they taste really really good to me. Even better now that I WANT them and am not forcing myself to have them even though I want something else. But yes you really have to give yourself the time and the trust to throw nutrition rules to the wind. I think it is very very worth it.

I agree, you should do whatever helps to get rid of the guilt associated with food. I didn't follow the idea of just eating until I realized it was ok to do so initially because at the time I was craving healthier foods. The past 2 weeks were kind of that where I told myself I could eat whatever I liked until I felt confident that it was ok. And you know what? It was. And I still didn't eat that bad.

It's never as bad as you think it is. When I look back it wasn't WHAT I ate that scared me or made me feel bad. It was HOW I ate. Secretly, with guilt, with shame, with self loathing. When I look back at my binging now I don't feel bad about the food that I ate, I feel bad about how awful I felt about myself. It's not disgusting to go through a drive thru and eat 2 burgers. But it's terrible to to eat those 2 burgers alone in my car parked somewhere remote and looking over my shoulder hoping nobody sees what a disgusting pig I am, and then promptly drive to an empty parking lot so I can dispose of the packaging in some far away dumpster where nobody will see me and then drive home to sit down to a dinner with my family. Eating salads every day can't cure that. There's not enough healthy food in the world that can combat the irrational actions of an eating disorder.

Feeling very irritable. I am starting to be able to work through stress and emotions quite well. But when it comes to anger I do not know how to diffuse myself. I've been anger eating the past couple of days. I'm preoccupying myself with food thoughts. I don't know what to do with my anger other than eat it. I have no tools to work through it.

I used to be a BIG anger eater too. Especially at work. Something that really helps me is to write. ANgrily. pressing into the page, big capital letters, maybe even yelling. Another thing that I learned in an anger book sounds silly but it is to punch a pillow violently as many times as you need to. The theory in this book was that we tend to hold anger in certain parts of our body. If its your arms and shoulders, punching pillows is great. If its your legs, kicking something or stomping around is really helpful. These techniques have helped me a LOT being a stay at home mom when I get frustrated or angry. I can go in my room, close the door, punch a pillow for a minute, release a bunch of anger, and come out being a calm and rational human being again. Even though I feel silly when I start, just the act of punching or stomping suddenly puts me right in touch with my anger and I really feel it so I can release it.

I hope you figure out something that helps you. Maybe something good to bring up with your NT?

Thanks wannabeskinny and pinkhippie!!! Your wisdom and advice goes miles with me. It's so nice to talk to folks who have been there done that. It's just so ironic that we are on a diet forum!! :)

Also, pinkhippie, I got the 'beyond chocolate' book on my tablet kindle last night and started reading it. do you use their forum/website much? I haven't gotten that far in which I've actually logged in yet.

Wannabeskinny, I hate the anger deal. It mostly happens to me at work too though or stress (which is close to anger for me). that is when I would binge probably the most. I have no good advice yet since I'm just so focused on the whole "are you hungry" deal instead of actually confronting my feelings. I do however, try to take a walk or work out when I feel this coming on. Those endorphins really pump me up. I've also been picking up some kind of IE book when I want to eat and am thinking constantly about food.

Lately, and it's also TOM for me, I've been wanting to eat at night while I'm watching TV. totally NOT hungry but boy wanting to eat, thinking of food constantly. ugh. It wasn't like this when it wasn't TOM so I'm wondering if it's that? or maybe I just need to keep busier while watching TV even though the point of watching TV for me is to relax before bed time.

To all with kids/families: how do you plan your hunger around dinner with your family? Today I ate a super late lunch and then ate a lot because I waited too long because I was on a walk in the sweltering sun and heat. So after I ate, I've been drinking tons of water to rehydrate. When we sat down to eat dinner, I served myself a small plate but felt sick so told everyone I wasn't feeling well, which is true from the heat I think but also just not remotely hungry. So I sat there and chatted. Everyone else actually took it quite well but I felt bad. Family dinner time is important to me.

Is it that I need to realize it's not about the food but the company? It's making me sad though. I'm not sure why.

I have had the same problem and through trial and error I have figured out how to do an early enough light lunch, a light snack that is not too late, and then I am hungry for dinner. Key for me was doing lunch at an early enough hour, so basically eating with the kids instead of waiting for them to be done, and eating a small snack and stopping closer to a 4 than a 5 on the hunger scale. I have noticed that with snacks, a lot of times if I eat less than I think I want, I am satisfied about 20-30 minutes later. We eat a relatively early dinner but we always eat at the same time so I have been able to tweak it.

I second what Pinkhippie wrote. I don't have a family but occasionally will go out to eat with friends or on a date. Even if I'm really hungry I'll just remind myself that I'm going out later and I want to be hungry for that. So I just eat something light and then wait until the later meal.

I don't know who recommended the book overcoming overeating (I think it was more than one of you), but I've just started reading it and it's great!

Thank you!

It's ok to be sad. Sadness should not deter you from honoring your hunger cues though. This isn't about your family, this is about getting in tune with your hunger signals. You're already in tune with your family, take the time necessary to do that and your family will understand. Especially because it's only for a short time. You are in the beginning stages of IE and looking back I remember how confusing it was, all I ever did was ask myself whether I'm hungry or not. I would sit at dinner with my family and not eat. It did feel wrong and weird but my husband has been very supportive of my therapy and my toddler doesn't know the difference anyway lol. So yes I just sat there and enjoyed their company. And then later on when I would get hungry my husband would sit with me and keep me company. For a short time we had 2 meal times together and YES it IS about the company!! It's not about the communal chewing.

Once my hunger and satiety cutes began to even out so did my mealtimes. I eat dinner with my family now. I eat 3 solid meals per day with zero snacks. I'm always aware of exactly how hungry I am at dinner time. Sometimes that means a very light dinner, sometimes it's heavier. But we're always together and my meals fall within the family meals. I hardly remember eating out of sync with my friends/family anymore. It didn't last long.

So it's ok to be sad. And it's ok to feel selfish about it. There is no other way to get in tune with your inner hunger cues unless you literally push aside all external meal cues. Your stomach doesn't care what time it is, who is present, and what's going on around you. It only cares about being hungry and being fed and that's what you have to focus on for now.

I've never gotten physical due to anger, I have to give that some thought because it feels so foreign to me. My mother has a lot of anger management issues, she never got physical but in her anger she hurls out very hurtful meal things to us that one shouldn't even say to their enemy. I've grown up afraid of anger, not wanting to say hurtful things like my mother does, but also not knowing how to process. Unlike other emotions, anger doesn't seem to have an outlet. In a very confusing way I almost enjoy the festering. It's like nobody understands my anger except myself so I just reitirate it and go over it and over it in my head. It does cause me to eat and the past couple of days have looked a lot more like my old binging days than the new me I have been enjoying. I'm angry and upset that I can revert so easily. Am I hungry right now? I really don't know.

I totally understand this. Im not a physical anger person either. AT ALL. I would always turn my anger against myself or towards myself. i really think that was part of my ED actually. I think that is why it IS such a powerful thing to be physical with my anger. It really gets me in touch with a lot of repressed feelings. My mom was also a very angry person and she was physical towards me. My dad too. So I am kind of terrified of anger. I still have a hard time if my dh raises his voice or anyone around me acts angry. So, I know that is why I bury my anger. Im scared of my anger too. So, punching a pillow IS actually very scary, but liberating as well. I can't yell either because it sounds too much like when my mom would yell and sound all crazy and scary. I have been working on this stuff. We revert back to what we know under times of stress or duress, even if we think we have overcome these things for years. Just be patient with yourself and compassionate, and most of all try to stay aware without judgement.