Standing ovation please, well said well said!

I too needed (still need) IE to be a set of rules. I need it laid out for me. Cause I thought I had it figured out before with dieting. Just follow this plan and it will work out. We need a strategy and there's nothing wrong with that, and if someone needs to make IE into a diet the first time they try it then that's ok, as long as they allow some flexibility for it to morph into what it truly is. Since none of the books I've read so far have given me any guidelines I've made up my own lol. The first step was to eat mindfully and not feel guilt or self-judgement for what I ate. It sounds simple but had I not set myself down to do that I would not have been able to continue with IE. I've moved on to measuring my level of hunger and riding the surf with cravings, but still the most important thing I do is forgive myself after every meal.

Honestly my body is still sending me to junk food. But not like I thought it would. I really thought that by legalizing certain foods I'd be found unconscious under a mountain of junk food, or drowning in a pool of nacho cheese. But I haven't. Yes I eat some of that food, but in very small portions surprisingly and not every day. I was just fixated on certain foods before because I had labeled them evil. but I find myself craving a whole range of foods instead.

Your statement in bold, that's the key to IE. I've tried to be clear about this in other parts of the forum to make sure I am upfront about what my goals are. I need to stop binging, I need to be at peace with food, I need to trust myself and if I can fix that then I think I will naturally lose weight, aleviate stress and start to normalize again.

I sympathize with you a lot but you are indulging in some dieting behaviors. It's understandable, it must feel like a lot of pressure to have a mother who is that fixated on health and nutrition. Those of us who struggle with food think that skinny fit people have it easy but they're not all intuitive eaters are they? All I can say is, can you escape your mother's control for a while? Is it possible to maybe visit her a little less or avoid the topic of food when you speak to her? If you've been to college already then you're old enough to not be controlled and it sounds like you're in a controlling environment about food either physically or mentally, please correct me if I'm wrong. Your inner critic's voice sounds like your mother's voice but it's really you so you need to take stock of that now and realize that you're doing this to yourself, your mother doesn't have the power anymore to control what you put in your mouth.

You're also involving other fears into your food fears. You're picking arbritrary numbers like 140 to fixate on, and you're talking about money that you'll need to buy bigger clothes. Why are you fantasizing about such obscure things that haven't even happened? It does take a little bit of time settle into IE before it feels comfortable but you won't achieve that comfort until you start being a little nicer to yourself and releasing some of these anxieties and stop fixating on the horrible what ifs. This is how I am doing it - every time I want to eat I would tell myself that I don't deserve to eat, that I'm too fat anyway, that it's not an appropriate or responsible thing to eat. That would stop me for a bit and I'd reach for something acceptable like low fat yogurt or some other diet-approved food... but then I'd get angry and binge, zoning out completely while I ate, probably hiding the evidence because if it's not an appropriate thing to eat then I have to hide it. Afterwards I'd hate myself, tell myself awful things and blame my weakness and lack of self control and it would cause me to see terrible things in the mirror etc.

Now, I take some time to think about what I want to eat. If I can't figure out what I want to eat then I hold off until it becomes clear. Sometimes I crave a junk food and I give the craving some time to pass. But sometimes it doesnt' pass and I realize that i really do want that bad food. Before I even reach for it I tell myself that it's ok, I give myself permission to eat it. It is what it is. I eat it but I don't allow myself to zone out. I try to eat as mindfully as I can. That alone allows me to really cut down on portions. I try to enjoy it as much as I possibly can. Afterwards I tell myself kind things, that it was just food, that I did deserve to meet my hunger and cravings and that I'm not a bad person. This sounds really dorky like psycho-fluff but it's been the most important part of the process. Dieting or not, if I can't look at myself in the mirror at the end of each day then what's the point?

Koalifornia, great advice already the only thing I would add is while yogurt does have protein, for me it just doesn't satisfy me and give me a fullness like I get for eggs or chicken et al. I find the whole concept of IE easier to get if you really start at a hungry but not famished point and eat a well balanced meal including a solid protein. It's when I do this that the satisfaction sets in and then I get the IE idea better.

You have to get through it of course and I'm certainly not suggesting you eat anything you don't want to, but yogurt and fruit and cookies I think is setting you up be sugar hungry for more cookies. And maybe you just need to get through this phase and that's ok.

I think the only the the authors of the original IE book are trying to say with the 90% healthy thing is that's an example of where they landed after doing IE for some time and where they ended up. For me, I find I'm pretty much in that ballpark, it's always nice to land on something healthy if it sounds great to you. But it isn't a rule at all..you need to listen to your body.

I find cravings after a while are really different than impulses to binge. I get a craving over several days and it sort of pops in and out if my mind and then when I just do it boy it's just wonderful rather like the cheeseburger incident.

What I get in trouble with is grazing eating where I never really get satisfied and then I want something else and I'm not really hungry but not full and certainly not satiated.

I started IE this go around after I had done a few weeks of healthy eating but still was hoping to get a bit trimmer. Over the course of a couple months and in conjunction with a reasonable but consistent exercise routine I pretty much have gotten to where I feel really good. If you start out with more weight to lose it will take longer and if you start at a too low weight you may gain and like you said your body may be responding to both restriction and perhaps a lower weight than you can sensibly sustain. All that needs to even out.

Be patient and kind to yourself one day at a time. I can certainly understand the pressure you've had with a very fitness conscious mother. It will take time to put those messages you've heard for so long in their place.

Hi,
I noticed a theme between you both Wannabeskinny and Cindy, and that’s that you let yourself have cravings for certain foods, and if the cravings persist you allow yourself to eat the food. If not it seems that you choose a more balanced/ healthy meal. Correct me if I’m wrong about this.
I think I got confused after reading Overfed Head and him saying to just let yourself eat all the junk food you want as long as you are hungry and stop when full so that’s what I’ve kind of been trying to do. However, perhaps I’ve been setting myself up for a sugar crash that way and I should also include more balance into my meals. My question for the both of you is how do you differentiate between a craving for junk food and what your body truly wants?
I really appreciate what you pointed out about the “horrible what ifs”. I tend to indulge in these thoughts a lot. I am at college, so the only person who can make me feel bad about what I eat is myself. It’s really just a mental restriction.
I guess I need to work on being more patient and less hard on myself.

I appreciate both of your wisdom so greatly!

I'll go ahead and throw out my unsolicited opinion here, too. I did exactly what you did- I let myself eat anything as long as I was hungry. After a week or two I realized that chocolate for a meal made me feel sick afterwards. So I started eating more balanced meals because they make me feel better.

Now I find that at most meals I don't have a real craving for something. Do I want meat and a salad? Bread and cheese? I don't really care either way. So I go with salad and meat, or a soup... something tasty but balanced and nutritious. Sometimes I want something decadent, so I eat a burger or something rich. This doesn't happen very often, maybe a few times a week.

But I'm a little further along in the process. If I had not had the "eat all the junk" phase I wouldn't have the body wisdom to happily make the more nutritious choices I make today. Go by what your gut tells you. It's corny but every time I have the feeling that "ugh, I didn't eat the right thing" or "man that was too much food (or too little)" you are learning how to take care of your own needs. It's trial and error. You're not going by a book, you're going by how you feel.

First off, I don't want to come across like I have this all figured out. I have felt like I'm in a really great place before and gone back to bad habits, but for the time being it is really working and I am hopeful!

I never eat anything that I don't really like. Honestly for the most part we have always eaten pretty healthy, good mix of treats and specialty heavier items, but we are gardeners and eat tons of fruits and vegetables and we love to cook so everything we make is interesting. Eating without a lot of fried, sugar, processed stuff just makes me honestly feel better and it is the promise of feeling better that helps me choose delicious things that make me feel good!

I used to be a sugar junky always wanted dessert. Somewhere in the last 10 years I have just quit that and I'm not sure why but now if I do want junk food it tends to be crunchy or cheesy. Sugar just makes me feel so awful I don't want it anymore. I don't know what that's about but you know it is what it is and I don't miss the sugar cravings.

I have probably the hardest time with nuts, for me it's honey roasted peanuts or pistachios. They are very hard to stop with any kind of reasonable serving. I did buy pistachios when my kids came to visit and those boys scarfed them up before I could eat many so that handled that problem LOL. But I did have some around and managed to not overeat which is a victory.

I don't know if this makes any sense or not and it isn't an exact science but I wouldn't eat junk for the sake of it if you really think about it your body will feel better with a balanced meal. Or at least over time it should. The junk food party is really just to get rid of any restriction rules lingering in your brain.

My big problem has been trying to force myself thinner than my body wants to be and we are talking about 5-7 vanity pounds, for you the difference between 118 and 125 or something. I am just fine but if I restrict myself lower then it all falls apart and I binge up much higher.

NOT worth it. No more for me.

I started IE in early February so I'm just at the beginning of this process. This is "pay your dues" time. Eat mindfully, listen to your body, respond to what your body wants and things will start to shift.

Listening to your body is not so easy, especially if you don't like what you hear. But that's ok, just go with the flow. You want cookies? Eat the cookies. I did it. I didn't go all out and stock my house from top to bottom with bad foods, but I did respond to what my body craved and went straight out and got it! I still do! It's not so much about learning to trust your body, but more about gently allowing your body to trust YOU. That's how I think of it anyway. I've yelled at my body like an abused child for a very long time even though all it was asking for was love and nourishment. It's taking a long time to rebuild that sense of trust within myself.

Cravings - scary stuff!!! I know! Like I said, just respond to those cravings long enough so that they start to not be so intense. Now my cravings are not so intense but still need to be addressed so I reason with them. I see something that might be triggering but I just stop myself and mentally have a word with myself on the side "do you really want this? is there something better I can get for you instead of that donut? Oh you want a cookie instead?" There you go, donut craving gone. Now I want a cookie. That doesn't mean I go have a cookie, it just means that the donut lost its power. I may have a cookie I may not. What's important is that I listened to what my body really preferred.

I remember at first all the books said "wait until your hungry, and then think up what you want to eat, and then eat it." That felt like gibberish. I can't tell you how many times I've stood in my kitchen thinking I'm hungry but nothing sounds to eat. Nothing nothing nothing. My mind kept going back to good vs bad food. As I continued to do mindful eating and continued to foster my hunger/satiety skills things started to make more sense. Now I still stand in my kitchen and coming up with all kinds of things that I never thought of making before which is new and welcome.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you need to have some patience, trust that you are listening and responding to yourself, and good things will happen. I hate to bring up the abused child analogy but it couldn't be more true for me. It was an abusive situation I was in and by treating myself kindly and consistently has made that inner child much more confident and friendly.

Cindy and Locke, you've both talked about eating certain foods because they make you feel better. I'll honest and say that I'm not there yet. I'm still in the process of giving my body what it asks for, whether that be junk or whether that be wholesome food. I've still got some peace to make with food and I'm not letting go of my potato chips just yet. That's not to say that I'm eating poorly, I eat veggies every day and I love and crave salads a lot and even more so lately, and my portions are much smaller than they used to be so everything is on track for a healthier me.

SouthernMaven

You have really come a long way and are doing great on IE. You have truly learned how to make it work for you. :carrot: I am so happy for you as IE is a real process of learning how to make it work and making it personal is a big key. I know it is for me. I had to make my way of IE "mine". Somebody elses way of eating IE just would not work for me. To me that was just another way of making "rules" to follow. So my way of doing IE and "my" rules or way that of doing fits me comfortably that it isn't even a problem. It is just automatic for me like breathing. And that spells success for me.

BTW I knew I was using the inaccurate phrase differently than you meant, but it fit what I needed for my IE plan. I choose the IE thought not to think of food as good/bad foods, however, I have learned by many needle sticks that as a diabetic there are some foods that I cannot eat even though a diabetic diet book may say that I can. That doesn't necessarily mean that I cannot have them ever, it just means I need to limit them at least at this point. However, I also know that I may never be able to add them back even when weight is normal again. I know this because I got it under control once before and then learned the hard way by adding them back. My body doesn't function well with them. So when I saw the phrase about inaccurate eating, I chose to adopt the phrase to think of the foods that cause my blood sugar to spike as "inaccurate foods" for me rather than good or bad foods. It is one of those "my personal" things that doesn't apply to anyone but me.

I personally believe IE is like other things even diets. ONE WAY doesn't fit all because all bodies are not the same. I have a book written by Joyce Meyer where she observed people who were naturally then. There are so many different ways that these people controlled their eating which is really IE although they didn't have that name at that time. They were kind of like the girl in The Overfed Head that Steve observed. This is when I realized that One Way of doing IE doesn't fit all. I needed to make this Mine... My way of doing IE because my reason for doing it is medical.

There are a lot of books out there of doing IE different ways, and although some of them say losing weight is not important and to throw away the scales. I've also read other IEers that say you need to use them and they do IE successfully with scales. So I think that is one of those things you have to decide what works best for yourself. As for me, I knew and I also know that giving up my scale is a death sentence for me. In the beginning, I tried giving up the scale and I was gaining weight like crazy and my blood sugar readings quickly jumped into the 200s and all of a sudden I was having high blood pressure which I had never had in my life. So while it may not be important for others to use scales or to lose weight on IE, it is extremely important for me to keep my scale and lose weight. It is a matter of life and death and the quality of life I want to live. I use three tools with my way of doing IE... my scale, my bs meter and my bp machine.

You see I've seen the results of too many cousins who are or were diabetics. Too many died too young due to complications from being a diabetic. Some became blind because they ate what they wanted without worrying about it. I've seen them die of heart disease because they didn't control it. I have a cousin right now who just had a kidney transplant and is blind in one eye and partially in the other. The sad thing is she follows the diet they give her and it doesn't make her better. DH first wife had diabetes and followed the regular diabetic diet they gave them when she was living. She died blind, had no toes left on one leg, had heart disease and if she had lived after heart surgery she would have lost her legs which DH said had turned black. I absolutely refuse to go down that road.

I know I don't have to go down that road and I don't have to worry about those things because I know that I can control it with the way I eat and exercise. I know the tools/process that I have to follow so that diabetes will never defeat me.

I realize to some that my version of IE is not actual IE, but that doesn't bother me because I know that I've learned how to make "My way of IE" mine and it is working as easy as breathing. And the bonus is that the weight is coming off slowly, but the blood sugar is normal and my bp is normal again which means my quality of life is improving too.

It is my hope that others will learn how to make IE work for them just as you and I have done.

I didn't intend to make this so long, but I just thought I should share my IE journey since I haven't been here in a while.

Y'all have a great IE day.

Trish, I TOTALLY agree. IE is different for everyone. It's the "anti-diet," after all.

As I wrote in my previous post, some restrictions are medically necessary. You've given perfect examples of that. Of course you have to stay away from certain foods if they spike your blood sugar, regardless of whether or not you really want to eat them.

I think people can practice IE in any number of ways. You can certainly honor your hunger AND your medical needs at the same time. You are wise to know what can happen if you don't stay away from those foods that cause you problems.

Hey, I've read a fair number of IE books and you're right - none of them say the same thing! You have to take from each one what works for you and incorporate it into your own life. I also get what you're saying about the scale. For me, it's triggering - regardless of the direction of the numbers. But for you, it's a necessity. It sounds as if you have a good handle on using it wisely.

And for what it's worth, I'm glad you decided not to do Atkins induction. I think your current WOE sounds fine!

Thanks for joining us pattygirl, I'm really glad to hear that the new Atkins diet is suggesting eating when hungry and stopping when full. When I did Atkins in the late 90's it was an all-you-can-eat bacon butter festival.

Thanks SouthernMaven and Wannabeskinny :)

I actually used induction to get rid of the cravings. I don't make it a point of working at staying in Induction because the carbs are so low. However there are days when my carbs are that low but they usually go up to 25 or 30 g. It just turns out that way now as I don't plan it. I'm not good with having to eat a certain amount of calories or carbs because if it says you have to eat a certain# of either, I find that I got into the habit of eating when I wasn't hungry to reach the amount they say I have to eat. I prefer eating lowcarb but I do better eating only when hungry and stop eating when satisfied as we learn in IE.

Y'all have a great evening.

Fits to a "T". I started this journey that I have an eating disorder mid last year and I am still trying to accept some of it. I have an intuitive eating book last fall and still have not opened it. That's for posting the Ana Creed - I can relate to it and it does hit home. Time to take a step forward.

Welcome CherieB, there's support here!

Welcome CherieB! So glad you found us.

What book do you have, if you don't mind my asking? If it's the Intuitive Eating one by Tribole and Resch, no doubt you'll find some good information there. But I have to say, in my own opinion, it isn't the best one.

Overcoming Overeating by Hirschmann and Munter, I believe, is a much more helpful tool than the IE one above. But your mileage may vary.

And for free, you can access The Overfed Head by Rob Stevens. Just google Overfed Head pdf and it will come right up in your search results. You can't print it out but you can certainly read it, and it's an easy read. I just reread it this past week. It's still my favorite one of all.

Feel free to chime in with questions or comments!