Heck Wannabe I would have eaten that fried chicken, too! Sounds delicious!!
It really is ok, life is about compromise and we have to live in a world with those we love and enjoying meals with them and letting them live peacefully with us is part of our own satisfaction, albeit a departure from our own signals.
Heck Wannabe I would have eaten that fried chicken, too! Sounds delicious!!
It really is ok, life is about compromise and we have to live in a world with those we love and enjoying meals with them and letting them live peacefully with us is part of our own satisfaction, albeit a departure from our own signals.
Thanks you're right. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I'm going back to writing down all the things I eat and rating my hunger/fullness and writing out my self-talk and emotions about eating. I did that for about a week before meeting with my nutritionist at her request and I enjoyed it. The appointment was triggering for me so I've felt a little off balance since then and hoping that getting back to writing down my level of hunger is helpful in forcing me to identify it.
The OO approach recommends acknowledging that you are overeating and trying to think about the emotions or circumstances that led you to it. Then forgive yourself and move on. It sounds like you did the first part but now it's time to let it go.
I myself have been doing okay. I was really irritable yesterday. Every little thing got on my nerves. I got angry, frustrated, and those familiar thoughts of self hatred and worthlessness crept in. I tried to distract myself the best I could. Crying helped. I'm going to attend a zen meditation center orientation tomorrow- I think meditation will help me learn to sit and accept my thoughts rather than trying to purge the feelings away.
I'm feeling rather settled into IE in the last few days. I think it's becoming a habit rather than something I have to constantly think about. That's nice because I'm getting tired of the "Am I hungry? Should I eat? Should I not eat?" thoughts. My eating has settled into a nice schedule since I began eating until truly satisfied at meals. Instead of eating every few hours I now comfortably eat 3 meals a day that I get truly hungry for. Sometimes I'll eat a snack in between but that's not too often.
I've been focusing on the hedonic aspects of food and eating. Eating food is much more pleasurable when you're hungry so I make sure I'm good and hungry before eating. Sometimes I find myself thinking "Gosh, I wish I would get hungry faster so I can eat!" Lol I just have to laugh at that sort of thing. It sounds like something my grandmother would have said. I also will not eat something that I don't enjoy. I threw out a frozen shepherd's pie that I had heated for lunch because it had a weird taste to it. I ate some berries and an avocado instead. I'm embracing the picky foodie within!
Last edited by Locke; 03-28-2014 at 02:02 PM.
Reason: spells
I'm feeling rather settled into IE in the last few days. I think it's becoming a habit rather than something I have to constantly think about. That's nice because I'm getting tired of the "Am I hungry? Should I eat? Should I not eat?" thoughts. My eating has settled into a nice schedule since I began eating until truly satisfied at meals. Instead of eating every few hours I now comfortably eat 3 meals a day that I get truly hungry for. Sometimes I'll eat a snack in between but that's not too often.
Thats awesome! Habits that are easy to execute are the most sustainable. Different things work for different people but I feel so much better removing the obsession over calories and eating when I am hungry. I don't follow IE strictly but I definitely love eating exactly what I want when I am hungry and IE HAS TAKEN THE ANXIETY OUT OF EVERY FOOD DECISION. I have been counting calories and binging for over a decade and for the first time I can eat a meal and not feel guilty or deprived.
Thats awesome! Habits that are easy to execute are the most sustainable. Different things work for different people but I feel so much better removing the obsession over calories and eating when I am hungry. I don't follow IE strictly but I definitely love eating exactly what I want when I am hungry and IE HAS TAKEN THE ANXIETY OUT OF EVERY FOOD DECISION. I have been counting calories and binging for over a decade and for the first time I can eat a meal and not feel guilty or deprived.
I've probably eaten a half-dozen PBJ sandwiches since Tuesday night.
It all started at work; I worked Tuesday evening with another new co-worker at the store (that I just loved working with!) for whom this is a second job. This means that she brings something to eat in the evening, and she mentioned that she had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Until Tuesday night, I had not eaten a PBJ in YEARS. In fact, until we had our two snows a while back I didn't even have any jelly in the house and had only bought a jar to have in case we lost power. We never did, but I did use the jelly a time or two on biscuits or toast, but I never even thought about a PBJ. But when she mentioned that's what she had it must have triggered something in me and I couldn't WAIT to get home and fix myself a PBJ.
And I did.
Boy, did I enjoy it! So much so that I had TWO on Wednesday - one for lunch, one for dinner.
And another one on Thursday.
And another on Friday.
And one today for lunch.
Yep, that makes six PBJ's since Tuesday night.
And I enjoyed the he** out of every one of them. Because they were EXACTLY what I wanted to eat each and every time I had one.
I ♥ Intuitive Eating!
Last edited by SouthernMaven; 03-29-2014 at 03:22 PM.
You know I was reading that thread about the girl whose boss brought donuts to work and her struggle to not eat them. Wannabe's response was right on point for the intuitive answer, too. If you are hungry eat one and enjoy it and if you aren't then skip it you can get a really great one and ENJOY it when you can enjoy it.
Makes the whole thing so much easier.
I have been thinking about how in diet rebound mode you are not only miserable gaining weight but you aren't even enjoying it one little bit. From here forward at least if I'm going to gain weight I want to enjoy it. Darn it I'm going to enjoy every calorie that goes in my mouth and I agree with Locke on the pickiness factor. Life is too darn short.
I have this book for the strength training routine that I've been working on but I just tune out on the diet suggestions, I am not drinking some protein shake I'm just not. Rather have scrambled eggs or a nice protein rich lunch.
And I also agree about eating out in the open and making it social. That's another thing, even if I'm by myself I plan to eat in a way I'd be happy about if I had people eating with me. I like that thought.
Funny about the PB&J is I haven't had any for a long time either and I was giving my dog a pill today and found the peanut butter to slather over the thing so she'd eat it and was thinking it sounded good, yep I need some, too.
Last edited by CindySunshine; 03-29-2014 at 03:48 PM.
You know I was reading that thread about the girl whose boss brought donuts to work and her struggle to not eat them. Wannabe's response was right on point for the intuitive answer, too. If you are hungry eat one and enjoy it and if you aren't then skip it you can get a really great one and ENJOY it when you can enjoy it.
Oh, I'd seen that thread but NOT Wannabe's response so I went right to it and as usual, she hit the nail on the head! It was so strange because I'd just had that doughnut experience I described.
I don't read a whole lot of threads other than those dealing with IE but sometimes when I do - like that particular one - it helps to reinforce just how dangerous the diet mentality can be.
It's really true - I'm not a huge doughnut fan. I probably eat one every few months. I never buy them in the grocery store but there's a doughnut shop right across from the Y where I walk and every once in a while I'll have a "hankering" for one. And just one. Yesterday I didn't even particularly crave a doughnut but was just trying to eat something quickly before work, and that seemed like just the thing to keep me going. And it was.
I had a hair appointment Thursday at 11:30 am and was scheduled to go into work at 2:00 pm. I stopped at the Waffle House and had a nice big breakfast before my 11:30 am appointment. I then went to the bank and then to work at 2:00 pm and got off at 8:00 pm. I had a sudden craving for popcorn but knew I didn't have any so ran to the grocery store and got one of the boxes of individual servings of popcorn along with a few other items. Got home around 8:30 pm and the popcorn urge was completely gone, replaced by a need for - you guessed it! - another PB&J sandwich! (the popcorn remains unopened as of this writing)
I ate that PB&J around 9:00 pm & it occurred to me that I had not eaten since about 11:00 am! That big breakfast really stuck to my ribs. I was hungry when I ate the PBJ but not so much that I felt the need for more than one. I had a few chips with it. And that was it for the day.
The freedom to eat whatever I want whenever I want it has brought me more peace and tranquility in my life than I've had since I started gaining weight (and then dieting!) with the onset of menopause. How I wish I'd known of IE then; I'd be 30 pounds lighter now if I'd had.
But better late than never; better 30 lbs than 50, or 75, or 100. Because I'd have continued to diet and gain back had I not started IE. I'm as sure of that as of anything.
It sounds like all of you are doing great with IE, I wish I could say the same for myself.
Last Saturday I was up 5lbs from a week of on and off bingeing, For a week I have been practicing IE and today I weighed myself and I'm up another 2 lbs!! So within two weeks I have gone up 7lbs!
I'm honestly freaking out a bit. I know I can't ever go back to calorie restriction, but it took me months..months to lose those 7lbs, and I gained it all back in 2 weeks! Is this a sign that I'm not respecting my fullness? I have been trying really hard to only eat foods that appeal to me ( cupcakes, cookies, all the things I haven't eaten in over a year) so I'm wondering if I gained because I was listening more to my appetite than to my hunger? Or perhaps some of it is water gain after so long of a restriction?
First off you have not gained 7 pounds. If you ate lightly for a day the water would flush and you'd be down substantially. But you need to get off the scale it will drive you absolutely crazy and you can't try to tie a few days eating IE especially when you first start with weight loss.
I know it's hard.
Are you overeating past fullness? Are you feeling your hunger and eating generally to satisfy it? Hang in there....it is hard to get started....
It sounds like all of you are doing great with IE, I wish I could say the same for myself.
Last Saturday I was up 5lbs from a week of on and off bingeing, For a week I have been practicing IE and today I weighed myself and I'm up another 2 lbs!! So within two weeks I have gone up 7lbs!
I'm honestly freaking out a bit. I know I can't ever go back to calorie restriction, but it took me months..months to lose those 7lbs, and I gained it all back in 2 weeks! Is this a sign that I'm not respecting my fullness? I have been trying really hard to only eat foods that appeal to me ( cupcakes, cookies, all the things I haven't eaten in over a year) so I'm wondering if I gained because I was listening more to my appetite than to my hunger? Or perhaps some of it is water gain after so long of a restriction?
Just feeling a little down....
It's not at all uncommon to gain weight when you first start IE. That said, it's imperative you get off that scale. I know how hard it is to let go of it, but it's holding you back.
You simply cannot think of IE in terms of weight loss. If you do you'll not succeed. Jumping on that scale is a part of the diet mentality, and you HAVE to let it go.
Right now you just have to concentrate on legalizing food, ALL food. If that means eating nothing but cupcakes for six weeks, so be it. Just make sure you are truly HUNGRY when you eat them. This is one of the most difficult things for people who are coming off the diet-go-round to discern, and it takes practice.
Be patient with yourself. And more importantly, be KIND to yourself.
Remember - Intuitive Eating is not - I repeat - NOT - a diet.
It is all about learning to trust yourself and your body to tell you what it needs.
Thanks Cindy and Maven for being voices of reason. I know that I need to give up the diet mentality, but I'm afraid that if I completely stop using the scale then I have no way to keep myself in check. I guess I'm slightly afraid of "letting myself go" and reaching a point where my jeans don't fit anymore or something like that.
I've really been trying to feel my hunger, even if that means waiting longer between meals. However, I have noticed that my fullness comes in a little bit after I eat. I may be eating and still not fill completely full, but if I stop and wait and do something else I'll feel my fullness and realize that I overate past it.
I really want to trust IE, but I guess I'm kind of afraid I'm going to pack on all this weight and not fit my clothes anymore.
Thanks Cindy and Maven for being voices of reason. I know that I need to give up the diet mentality, but I'm afraid that if I completely stop using the scale then I have no way to keep myself in check. I guess I'm slightly afraid of "letting myself go" and reaching a point where my jeans don't fit anymore or something like that.
I've really been trying to feel my hunger, even if that means waiting longer between meals. However, I have noticed that my fullness comes in a little bit after I eat. I may be eating and still not fill completely full, but if I stop and wait and do something else I'll feel my fullness and realize that I overate past it.
I really want to trust IE, but I guess I'm kind of afraid I'm going to pack on all this weight and not fit my clothes anymore.
It takes a while for the fullness signals to reach the brain, which is why it is so important to slow down and savor your food as much as possible. Even then it may be awhile before you really reach satiety. Eating too fast and/or mindlessly doesn't let our body signal our brain that we are no longer hungry. It's really better to stop BEFORE you feel full. If you are truly hungry your brain will let you know it, and then you can eat some more later if necessary.
Most importantly, do not FEAR hunger. It's not the boogie-man many people make it out to be. Even true hunger can come and go. But if your body really needs food it eventually becomes very obvious and can no longer be ignored. We all know those signals; the kind that says "FEED ME! I don't care WHAT it is!!"
Anybody else a fan of TED? The nonprofit group under the slogan Ideas Worth Spreading gets some awesome speakers and thought provoking, entertaining talks.
I just read about this one given in June of 2013 by a neuroscientist relating her personal IE experience and tying it to the brain -it isn't overly technical but it reinforces much of what we are discussing. I haven't had luck getting links into posts, but you can search and easily find it, talk is about 12 minutes.
Filmed June 2013 at TEDGlobal 2013
Sandra Aamodt: Why dieting doesn't usually work
It sounds like all of you are doing great with IE, I wish I could say the same for myself.
Last Saturday I was up 5lbs from a week of on and off bingeing, For a week I have been practicing IE and today I weighed myself and I'm up another 2 lbs!! So within two weeks I have gone up 7lbs!
I'm honestly freaking out a bit. I know I can't ever go back to calorie restriction, but it took me months..months to lose those 7lbs, and I gained it all back in 2 weeks! Is this a sign that I'm not respecting my fullness? I have been trying really hard to only eat foods that appeal to me ( cupcakes, cookies, all the things I haven't eaten in over a year) so I'm wondering if I gained because I was listening more to my appetite than to my hunger? Or perhaps some of it is water gain after so long of a restriction?
Just feeling a little down....
The beginning stages of IE while liberating can also be very scary. You're facing yourself possibly for the first time and putting all the power in your own hands. You're not listening to some guru who says "eat this this and not that," you're not following a schedule, you're not following any food rules and you have to consciously ignore some ingrained food thoughts such as "carbs are bad" or "sugar is evil." And then you see a slight gain on the scale and immediately doubt your ability to do this. This is all very frightening and it makes you want to reach out to the nearest diet life vest to gain some control. The fact is that you finally do have control of yourself. It's up to you to decide what you will eat but most importantly, how you treat yourself afterwards is the key component here. Be kind, be compassionate and view it as a minor decision.
Your hunger and fullness cues are there. They just have to be honed like a skill. Everytime you honor your hunger with fullness you are one step closer to being the real you. Fullness is a bit tricky. What works for me is to eat slowly, and get slower as you eat. At some point I put the fork down and leave the room. I will do anything to get my mind off the food for a couple of minutes, make a phone call, check your email, fold some laundry, whatever! And then I allow myself to go back to my plate and have as much as I want. For some reason when I return to the plate I'm fully aware of how much I need to eat if any at all.
