What to do first...
 

So my goal is to lose fat and gain muscle. Which makes it difficult to place a goal weight. But anywho...should I concentrate on losing the fat first and then building muscle? I know I can build some as I lose weight. Which I know a lot of people do, but I don't want to get enough just to look toned...I want muscle and strength. I want to be a wrestler and be able to fight not only the women, but the men. So yeah...what to do...and how do I figure goal weight? Should I have a goal for losing fat, then a goal for muscle? And how should I figure out what they could be?

At 280 and 5'3 -- just go for losing 10 lbs for now. Once you get there then reassess where you are at, what you are doing etc. when you are ready to hit then next 10.

Have you had a physical with your doc? To make sure you don't have any hidden obstacles like thyroid?

Do you know where you are and how you got there? Keep a food log for a week or 2. See what your eating habits are like with NO CHANGES. Then you can see about subtracting 250 calories from the log.

Then on the fitness front -- look into cardio, weight training, and flexibility. Again keep a log with no changes. Then start tweaking so you burn 250 calories there.

Then you have a daily -500 calories and that's a solid -1 lb a week.

If you want guesstimates with calculators for calorie level, weight, etc. try here. There's several on the left column.

http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

GL!
A.

I would focus on losing the weight while still strength training to maintain and build some muscle, when I felt I was at a good enough weight or close to it I would then start to go full on bodybuilding for something like wrestling.

When building that much muscle you need to eat quite a bit and it will make losing weight a bit harder.

Do you know anyone in the wrestling or bodybuilding field that might be able to give you advice? Maybe look up natural bodybuilding sites.. (remember even some women "juice" to build their muscle and strength, I assume that's not the path you want to take)