I'm out of my shell!!!!!!!!!
 

Hello to all! I have been registered on the website for a long time now, and I guess I should give you a little background. Long story short, I started focusing on my weightloss last March, and I weighed 241. This morning I am at 198 (I have worked HARD to break out of the 2's-yeah for me!). So, all is going well, I got a treadmill for Christmas and I use it DAILY, I am focusing on eating healthy, and I am trying to put time into MYSELF each day. I am taking extra time to apply makeup each morning, fix my hair, paint my nails, toss out any clothes that "make me feel fat!". My problem is this. I am totally out of my comfortzone! I went out a few weeks ago (I was out of town on business) with a few co-workers to a bar. I totally was not prepared for what happened to me. I was approached by men, one of whom I work with. He was actually interested in my, telling me how beautiful I was, etc. At first I thought he was full of it, how could he be saying those things to ME. But I made myself look him in the eye. I realize that is also something I am not used to. FOr so many years, when I walk down the street, I automatically look down. No need for eye contact. That takes me out of my comfortzone. Well, let me tell you, there is so much OUT THERE!!!!!!! Now, the other part of this story is that I am happily married with two wonderful children. My husband has stuck by me for almost 14 years. He has loved me for WHO I am, not what I look like. HE has lived the worst of "for better or worst" for many years. I was 100 pounds overweight, moody, depressed, very low self esteem, etc. He never left my side, ever.

I am not really sure what I am trying to say. I think I am rambling now. My main issue is this. I am trying to continue focusing on me, my health and my weightloss. But, I am also trying to learn how to flirt. How strange does that sound? I have NEVER been unfaithful to my husband, ever. But I also think he felt that I was "safe". That is not an insult to him, but I think he may have taken comfort in the fact that he did not have to worry about me and other men.

I am having a hard time with all of this. THe biggest part is how I work with this man (the one mentioned above) and how he has let it be known that he is still interested in me. I like the attention. I like the idea of being able to do this.

Please toss out any advice. I don't want to freak out while I am dealing with these new situations. I want to continue to lose weight (I am still overweight-but is is amazing that sexy is partly a state of mind!). I refuse to get nervous and start eating again, to get back into my shell. I want to have a new shell!!!!!!!!!

:) Hello Tammy B -

First, big-time congratulations on your hard work. 43 pounds is an awesome loss! And the next congratulations is on having a supportive, loving husband who loves you for who you are, not how you look.

Having men start paying attention to you can be a fun thing, as it reinforces that you feel good about yourself and you radiate that confidence; but please be careful to not let it escalate into more than harmless flirting! Just so you don't get in to an uncomfortable situation with someone who wants more than just flirting...

But that shouldn't keep you from being able to just openly look people in the eye, give them a warm smile, and express interest in them as fellow human beings. And I think lots of men and women can enjoy harmless flirting; it makes them feel more attractive and desirable, and that positive feeling can extend to their mates. At a time when I had lost weight and felt really good about myself; I had the best time flirting with male friends, but made sure it never got past a certain level. And I think my husband enjoyed that I was being paid atttention to by men, but HE was the one who went home with me!

And you weren't "rambling" - just expressing your thoughts - you are sure to have alot of conflicting feelings about your self-image after noticeable weight loss.

Well, those are my thoughts - I'm excited for you for your changes in feeling attractive and sexy - rock on!

Sincerely, Holly :)