My mother in law is the devil (but doesn't wear prada) !

Sorry to rant but I need to get this out :
My mother in law texted me happy birthday one week ago, and now, she's furious against me because I didn't reply a thank you. I know it is rude, but I completly forgot, because I received 3 text messages and 2 voice messages at the same time, and didn't answer any because I was very late to my birthday party.
Ok, now she says I'm really rude and egoist, that I am bad behaved (dunno if that's a word) and haughty.
Furthermore, she said I wasn't invited to MY BOYFRIEND's birthday party, whereas his brother's girlfriend will be (we've been together for 2 years now). She even said I would never go with them on holidays ever again because I was "horrible".

I don't think I am horrible or haughty, and I try not to say anything against her, because she's the mother of my boyfriend. And she thinks she can say whatever she wants about me and still get away with it.
Now she said that I can go to the restaurant with them, without any apology or anything, as if nothing happened.

Seriously, I don't want to go to her house ever again, but I know her behaviour is hurting my boy. (luckily, he's on my side, because even he admits what a horrible woman she is).

I don't know what I should do, any advice?

(and I'm not going to his birthay party. I'm working till 8pm anyway)

Oh my, a text message? There's someone rude here, and it ain't you!

There's really nothing you can do and stay true to yourself, I think. You could, if you thought it would smooth things over, give one of those politician apologies--"I"m sorry if you were offended" sort of thing.

Frankly, though, I'd be seriously minimizing my contact. That's what we're doing with my FIL, who's another one of those toxic folks. I'd tell him to take a long walk off a short pier if it wasn't for my MIL, who's a sweetie.

I try to avoid going at her place, but then she asks me why I don't seem to want to talk to her!

Maybe because she's the rudest person I know! She once said I was alright for his son because he likes fat girl. I think that was the worst.
I managed to lose 40 pounds (before meeting him), and I am now 140 pounds for 5'8. Of course I am still struggling with maintenance and being called fat still hurts me a lot.

Anyway, I know someone who's not going to see her grandchildren much ! lol
(she's divorced twice and she says her other daughter in law is stupid.)

YIKES! GBMM said it best - toxic folks. Personally, I think she thrives on conflict and that's why she flipped about the text message. She could also not understand that a text message is a WAY more informal way of communicating. Heck, perhaps you could even say you wanted to wait to see her in PERSON to thank her for the message.

The fact that your BF understands how psychotic she is speaks volumes.

She called you fat? That woman has problems to be sure.Ignore her best you can,stay away as much as possible.Don't let her get to you,she isn't worth the effort.

Okay, the one who was rude was her, not you. I think anyone who sends a text message to someone on their birthday is rude, and lazy. Did she send you a card by chance? And to call you fat, well, that is just unacceptable. I too would stay as far away from the woman as possible.

I don't know why some in-laws are just horrible. Mine are the same. Started a bunch of crap and now dislike me and my kids...actually don't think they thought I was ever good enough for DH to begin with. I am not one to sit back and take any crap and so spoke up (the went after my kids and stillborn son-no one disses my DH and kids) and this is where it got us...going on three years of not talking which is sad. I cut off any contact with them and the last two e-mails and letter I told DH they are his family and he can deal with it. Of course they think I am behind all of it, poppycock. I tried to fit in and not even sure why I bothered. They had their minds made up from the get go. What is sad is I have never spent any substancial amount of time around them to warrant the treatment/behavior. So, there ya go.

Just be careful...in-laws are funny creatures, and I do mean creatures, lol.

Just tell her you'll pray for her....in a text message.

she calls you FAT?? dude, 140, 5'8 is FAR from FAT!

New text message:

Dear evil MIL, I find it very rude that you did not so much as send me a card on my birthday. I also find you to be extremely egotistical in thinking a mere text message was all that was required for you to be praised and bowed to. Furthermore, you are no longer invited to text message me. You will NEVER be permitted to text message me ever again because you were "horrible".



Ok, don't send it. But maybe it's one of those you can type and get it out of your system.

I would.

That's just ridiculous, text-messaging someone wishing them a happy birthday. I mean, it's okay if it's a friend and you've already talked to that friend and they've wished you a happy b-day otherwise, but it's downright rude, thoughtless and lazy for a MIL (or equivalent) to do that.

What an egotisitcal

Even with today's technology, text message and e-mails etc. I still think it is rude to text message a Happy Birthday to someone, don't care if it is your mother, soon to be MIL, brother, etc. I think it is just plain laziness that someone who supposedly cares about you can't take the time to go to the store and buy a card and send it. I myself would send a card AND e-mail a message...would never text message anything.

Persoanlly I have only texted message 3 times in my life...just learned how being 52 and all...not sure how much I will use it, wasn't going to ever get a cell phone, computer, etc ~ times change..I think most cell phone users are rude! at some point...

I guess my point that I failed to make was ~ I just think it is gosh darn silly to spend all this time debating wether or not it was rude to say Happy Birthday or not this way...at least it was said...the thank-you wasn't returned...

there are MUCH bigger issues at hand here.

5'8" is NOT FAT!!!And this horrible woman is not your MIL do not think of her that way. I would stay away from her as much as possible. I am afraid that in her eyes nothing you do will be right.Don't give her the satisfaction of thinking that she has the upper hand if she learns that she can't upset you it will frustrate the heck out of her. Stay as far away from her as much as you can.

oops. meant to say 140 lbs for 5'8 is not fat, gosh, this ridiculous woman got ME upset!