1985 high school, weighed around 140 lbs. I remember trying to eat lower cal, but not really knowing what that meant. I remember eating toast for breakfast with a thin scraping of butter and jelly and riding my bike all around the neighborhood. I remember the scale reading 133 lbs, the lowest it would weigh for 20 years. Just gave up and quit doing it, reverted back to old habits/way of eating.
1989 summer in college - weighed 151. For 4 weeks I ate nothing but a bowl of rice krispies and an orange every day (Dexatrim was involved) I got down to 137. Stopped "dieting," gained all the weight back and more and got 2 lovely stretchmarks on my stomach due to the weight coming back on so quickly. I distinctly remember what triggered the end - a binge on 4th of July. Specifically O'Boise's potato chips. I had been restricting so long, I had one chip and couldn't stop. I ate all day until I was ill and that was the end of that.
1992 college, sr. year - weighed 175. From Jan - June, I did "low fat." Pretty much anything I wanted as long as it was low fat (including stuff like Snackwells) Got down to around 141 for my lowest weight. I would constantly binge on low fat sugary stuff - those snackwells teddy graham's were a big weakness. Ate a lot of pasta and white baked potatoes. From this diet, I did incorporate some very long term healthy habits that have stuck with me through today - greatly reduced the amount of fried foods, no mayo, no more full fat salad dressing, no butter, very little sugary soda. I also really cut back on meat during this time.
1992-1999 Managed to gain/lose, gain/lose but stayed around 150ish. After losing all that weight, I knew "how" to do it. If I wanted to lose weight, I would just restrict for a bit and the weight would come off, and then I would stop. And the weight would come back on. Then I would lose it. Then I would gain it back.
99 - weighed 150, had my jaw wired shut for surgery, lost 10 lbs on a liquid diet, gained it all back very quickly. Unavoidable - I really couldn't eat solid foods. Was around 145 or so. I think this set me up for the rapid weight gain that happened in 2000 after I started working at my new job, I gained a lot of weight...quickly.
1999-2004 - weight went from 150 to 190. Lots of wishing to lose weight, very few real attempts lasting longer than 2-3 days. Got down to 170 one time before a big work trip, gained it all back right away though.
04 - weighed 195+ (I had stopped weighing myself, so I am not really sure of my highest weight), decided to completely overhaul eating and concentrate on whole foods with high nutritional impact and avoid foods with low nutritional impact. Basically, I calorie counted (ensuring I ate ENOUGH) and ate whole foods (avoided all nutritionally vacant food). Currently weigh 128 lbs -
18 months maintenance.
Dieting made me fat. To me, “dieting” always meant a severe restriction in calories and attempts to be “perfect”. Two things always happened:
- I would restrict so much, my body would binge. I would feel like an out of control loser, a failure and just give up.
- I would reach a goal weight and immediately return to the unhealthy eating habits that made me heavy in the first place. Every I hear someone say “I can’t wait until this diet is over until I can eat X again” I just cringe.
When I decided to change my life, I carefully looked at my previous weight loss attempts to see why I kept failing. I noticed that I could lose weight but I could not keep weight off. This time, I concentrated on long term maintenance from from day 1. I had to give up that crazy idea I had been clinging to since high school - if you cut calories and lose weight, you can cut MORE calories and lose MORE weight. That fallacy is what made me go from a 140 lb high school student to a 200 lb 35 year old. Dieting made me fat.
I wanted this time to be different. No more being overly restrictive (no more 800 calorie days!), no more diets that I would "start" and "stop," it had to be sustainable. I needed a plan for what to do after I reached my goal weight.
