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-   -   Online dating is it possible to fall in love (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/91619-online-dating-possible-fall-love.html)

thinbefore40 08-16-2006 12:10 AM

Online dating is it possible to fall in love
 
even before meeting? I am talking to this one guy and he is falling for me already and we haven't met yet. He seems a really sweet guy and apparently loves to chat. Yes he has seen my pictures and I have seen his pictures. He likes to write book emails so that should be a good sign, right?

cardsfan2009 08-16-2006 01:07 AM

It is defintely possible. My friend did it. I was pretty worried about her meeting someone online, because that can be pretty dangerous. But, they fell in love. He lives in Kansas and we are in Missouri, i think its an 8 hour drive. He's been here twice, the first time his family came up too and they all met each other. It was so awesome seeing that! I am completely happy for them. He's transferring to a college up here next year so they can go to college together. They've been together for a little over a year. I personally havent met anyone online but i have been in a long distance relationship. Which is why i now will never do that again. It was hard. Really, really hard. He was going through some tough things at the time (2 family deaths) and I wanted to be there so badly..but, I couldnt. It was so frustrating. It went from being one of the happiest times in my life to one of the most miserable. So, if it is long distance, just be prepared for that aspect of it. And by all means, be careful, and much good luck to you! :D

PumpkinPrincess 08-16-2006 01:07 AM

Met my husband playing an online video game chatted for 2weeks online, cellphones for a week, met after 3weeks and moved in together, 6months later engaged, 2 years later married, 3 years later still happy and content!:hug:

Abbeycat36 08-16-2006 01:32 AM

Hi,

I think it all sounds really positive, and hope it works out for you guys.
Be careful though.. I have met a few people who I thought I had developed feelings for before meeting, and then they turned out to be so different in person. Just be careful and guard a bit of your feelings in that regard.

It CAN totally go well though. It's happened to lots of people, and I'm one of them.

My hubby and I met on lavalife (dating site). We met in person within 2 weeks and dated for 7 mos until we got engaged. 4 years ago now and counting (we got married last year).

I totally wish all the best to you but be careful. When you decide to meet, make sure it is somewhere public (like coffee shop), and tell a good friend that you're meeting someone and a few details about that person.

~ Angie

little grasshopper 08-16-2006 01:42 AM

I met my fiance online. We've been together for almost 4 years. I knew the minute I met him that he was very different from guys I'd met in the past - through the more "normal" route :) ha!

However - I also met a very creepy, handsy arrogant person online that seemed to be exactly like my fiance in emails and online chats. I've never had to walk out of a date in the first 20 minutes but I walked away from him and it was so bad that I guess the table behind me knew it and the guys at the table walked out with me. So do be safe! You can meet great people anywhere, but you can also meet the not so great anywhere too. If he's truly wonderful he'll understand your NEED for caution when meeting.

Stevi-rocks 08-16-2006 02:38 AM

You've got an 80/20 shot. Thats the number I came up with while adventuring via on-line dating. 80% of the guys where creeps and liars (Lookin' to get some) and the other 20% can be really great guys. I mostly chatted alot, as their true colors would eventually show as they grew impatient. I'm now happily married to a man my sister met online and said "you'd be perfect for my lil sister!" She was right. We have been together 4years, Married 2 and had our 1 st child 6 months ago. Too bad sissy is still searching.:(

Vilandra485 08-16-2006 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PumpkinPrincess (Post 1372024)
Met my husband playing an online video game chatted for 2weeks online, cellphones for a week, met after 3weeks and moved in together, 6months later engaged, 2 years later married, 3 years later still happy and content!:hug:

Sounds like me. :) Well I met my guy online...we chatted on the computer and the phone a bit for about 6 months, then he came to meet me and moved in with me and my parents (kinda odd, lol, but there were logical reasons), lived with me for 6 months then proposed (I said yes :p), we lived in my city for 6 more months, then moved together to HIS hometown where we have been for the last 16 months; and my guy says meeting me online was the best thing that ever happened to him - aww. :) I believe if you use common sense and your best judgement AND make your first meeting safe, then online meeting relationships can work. It's very common now. I'm not sure if that helps you any though, lol, but best of luck! Do what you feel is right. :)

LLV 08-16-2006 09:29 AM

Behind a computer or not, we're all still human ;)

nelie 08-16-2006 10:35 AM

I never seem to have done well dating someone I didn't know for a long time prior to dating so my advice is a bit cautious.

When I was in college, I met people who I talked to online (not for dating purposes but just in general) and it would be interesting to see how different my online impression of them and my impression of them when I met them. I will say that it was just different. So I kind of learned to keep an open mind when I met someone knowing that their persona might be different than I imagine it. I know that example isn't an exact fit but just my thoughts on meeting someone in person for the first time.

Now about dating. I also don't have an exact fit. I knew my DF for quite a few years before we dated. We had worked together in the same office. Anyway, there had been time and distance put between us. It had been a few years and he had moved over 1000 miles away. Since we had been friends when working together, we occassionally talked on work based IM and sometimes on the phone. Well eventually we started talking a lot on IM and occassionally on the phone until we started talking on IM daily and talking on the phone daily. I fell for him and he fell for me. I was nervous though because when we had worked together, I never saw him that way and we had to meet again, feeling how we felt. I wasn't sure if for some reason I would feel different or not. So I kept an open mind and told myself that there might be a possibility that I would feel differently in person. Luckily, that didn't happen :)

Anyway, if you think this is someone that you might like and you think he likes you, I'd say go for it. Talk on the phone a bit, see how that works. Then you can meet if you feel good about him, but again I'd suggest meeting somewhere that you feel safe. Have an open mind and if it isn't what you expected, then that is ok and it happens.

VelVeeta 08-16-2006 11:10 AM

It sounds positive but be careful. You never know what can happen. Meet him in a public place just in case he doesnt turn out to be everything you hoped for. I mean we preach to kids all of the time about internet safety and being safe online. We are adults, let make sure we are practicing what we preach and be safe. Good luck!

LLV 08-16-2006 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VelVeeta (Post 1372479)
It sounds positive but be careful. You never know what can happen. Meet him in a public place just in case he doesnt turn out to be everything you hoped for. I mean we preach to kids all of the time about internet safety and being safe online. We are adults, let make sure we are practicing what we preach and be safe. Good luck!

I'll second this.

It's better to be safe than sorry ;)

sotypical 08-16-2006 11:26 AM

I have met people on the internet... a few times and a few different people. Just be really careful, met in a public place, and don't let them know where you live.

I had some bad expierences (nothing major) and some good ones. Of the few people I have met, I ended up with a really good friend or two. I know all kinds of people meet them SO online and it works out, it can happen just be very careful! Good luck and let is know how it goes.

Oh, I just also had to add, that yes, people can be/are very different when they are online. Just a heads up.

LadyFirelyght 08-16-2006 12:01 PM

My boyfriend and I met online over a year ago. I fell in love with him before I even met him, and when I finally DID meet him (a couple months later), I realized that it was all too real. We had been 100% honest from the beginning, so there were no surprises. Just real, beautiful love and affection. So real and so beautiful that he plans on moving out here in the Spring to be with me (he currently lives 2000 miles away).

lilybelle 08-16-2006 02:14 PM

One thing that I did to make sure the initial meeting was safe, was for me to pick the restaurant or public place. I'd check it out ahead of time and have my car parked by the establishments exit. If things were not going smoothly or I had any kind of bad feeling at all, I would excuse myself to go to the restroom and leave without him seeing me. I only had to use this escape once but it was well worth it to have it all planned out. I do have to mention that this wasn't an on-line date. it was a former HS boyfriend that I met up with some 25 yrs. later. Some time in the 25 yrs. he had gone crazy. It was very scary and I was so glad that he had no idea where I lived.

Wolfena 08-16-2006 02:22 PM

I don't believe it's possible to fall in love with someone you've never met...

I believe you can find someone you are VERY fond of, someone who you have a lot in common with, someone you look forward to chatting with, someone who makes you smile, someone you can't wait to meet (and REALLY get to know)

Basically - I think the internet can be used to find someone you can fall in love with eventually.... but not before you meet them.

IMO There's way too many things involved with 'real love' that can't be known until you meet in person & spend time together (their laugh, bad habits, good habits, hygiene, level of house-cleanliness, tolerance/understanging of other people in person & animals, whether or not they are shy/outgoing/loud/rude/polite/a pushover etc)

Some of that you may be able to find out by telephone... but most you can't.

Think about it... there's plenty of people in this world who we get along with GREAT! enjoy their company, laugh with them, have fun with them, really really like & care for them - BUT, there's no romantic connection. They're 'just friends' - and you can't know that until you've met someone in person (I said that a few times, didn't I???) :p


PS - I met my boyfriend online over 3 years ago (but we met in person within a few weeks).... we've been living together almost a year and a half and are very very happy!

:)


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